cassandra7946
Greenlighter
Hello again bdomihizayka,
"I'm not even going to waste my time with you after this post as you are just an attention seeker."
From whom am I seeking attention? I don't know any of you people and I will never meet any of you in person. How does one seek attention on an anonymous message board!? That doesn't make any sense. I posted my story online after reading other peoples' stories for months. I actually posted my story to help other people, because I know what major depression feels like and I know how frustrating it can be not being able to find relief. There are other people out there in the situation I was/am in.
"your borderline is very apparent which is why I was so easily able to identify you as such."
Lol. What a dick. You haven't identified anything and you aren't a doctor. I have ADD--its very similar to borderline. I was diagnosed with it and the lack of effect from cocaine and Adderall supports that diagnosis.
"You clearly don't want to help yourself. You just want a quick fix."
First of all, I didn't come here for help. This all happened to me back in March. I sought help outside of an anonymous message board, thank you. And in my case, I needed a quick fix, because I was/am suicidal. So yes, quick fixes are a good idea for such people. People diagnosed with major depression, 6% of them will commit suicide. I already tried to commit suicide this year when I jumped in the rapids. It was my intent to die that day.
"It HAS been proven that exercise is more effective than an antidepressant- high intensity exercise. Many studies are online, and you're here telling me it's all bogus?"
No, it has not been proven.
And I already posted on here that whenever I would go running, I would get MORE depressed. A few months in to the major depression, I signed up for this outdoor adventure club (this was related to the suicide attempt at the white water rafting get together). And I would go biking, kayaking, hiking…I signed up for yoga too and did that weekly. I would go to the gym at my apartment complex and run….MY DEPRESSION GOT PROGRESSIVELY WORSE! I felt alone, empty, my body hurt, I was exhausted, my stress got higher…It made me miserable…...What don't' you understand about that???? There are many people like this. I didn't write about the exercise because this post is a drug forum. I wrote about my experience with drugs. Not anything else. You just judged me quickly and assumed things right away and that is what pissed me off.
Many people say the same thing about exercise not helping them. And here is a study. Findings were exercise made no difference in depressive symptoms:
http://www.bmj.com/content/344/bmj.e2758
"An antidepressant IS a quick fix as opposed to a change in lifestyle."
How the fuck do you know what kind of lifestyle I lead? Yes, I used to drink alcohol, but besides that, You don't know what I eat. You don't know how physically active I am. You don't know what my spiritual beliefs are. You don't know what kind of hobbies I have. You don't know anything about me, aside from the story I posted about what happened to me this year and my experience with medications. As a matter of fact, I ran a 10K with my best friend right before the major depression set it. So STFU.
I didn't do drugs right away, if you even read my original post. I stopped drinking alcohol and went to a psychiatrist to get help immediately. I started a yoga regiment, went to cognitive therapy every week for months and tried different kinds of medications before I turned to "hard" drugs. That was the whole point to posting this story. NOTHING WAS WORKING. It is the title of the post!
So, you say you suffered from "extreme" depression? How long have you had depression? And can you describe to me what it felt like for you personally, to be suicidal?
Also, I'd like to know your personal experience using opiates?
"What I'm trying to say is that even the "anti-depressant" effects of an opiate are going to go away with time, and you are going to be dosing just to stay out of withdrawal WITHOUT any "anti-depressant" effects of the drug."
I'm pretty sure that even a tiny dose of an opiate can prevent withdrawal. I'm also pretty sure that junkies increase their dosages exponentially because they are chasing a high. I'm not. So, I don't think that is completely relevant to my situation. Like my recent response to Cliffy78, only time will tell if heroin ceases to alleviate my depressive symptoms. Just because I stop "feeling" it, doesn't mean it will stop taking the depression away.
"We have no idea how depression or any other mental illness works or where their origins come from. We don't know exactly how psychiatric medicine even works. The "serotonin" theory is just that, a theory. There is no definitive proof linking depression to any lack of certain neurotransmitters."
I've researched depression a lot in my spare time. Just because depression is a complex disease, doesn't mean that there is no understanding of it. Doctors do have an idea of how depression and other mental illnesses work and their origins. It is a scientific fact that depressed person's brain is different than a non-depressed person's brain (& exercise won't change that) Brain scans illustrate this and the differences are both significant and consistent. It is the consistency of difference that ensued in theories about neurotransmitters playing a major role. In addition, the medications developed to target neurotransmitters help a lot of people. SSRI's, MAOIs and other antidepressants are effective for over 50% of depressives.
This video is one of my favorite resources. It is a lecture by Sanford University's Professor Robert Sapolsky. I'll take his expertise over your's, thank you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc
"You cannot name me a single doctor in a first world country who would give an opiate script for mental illness. Again, you're clearly delussional if you truly believe your own shit."
Dr. Robert T. Cochran
Below is his website:
http://www.understandingpain.com
Dr. Cochran has been practicing for decades in Tennessee. He wrote a book called the Opiate Cure. In it, he described his years of experience of prescribing opiates to patients with chronic pain. Patients who also had bi-polar disorder, or any mental disorder on the bi-polar spectrum, including major depression, were cured by the opiates intended for their chronic pain. His book is code for opiates curing mental illness. He cannot openly say it directly because he will lose his medical license, but everyone who knows about him and reads his books knows this obvious fact. I've read all his blog posts on his website too, and he is very good at inferring this. He also claims that many in his profession have seen the exact same results.
In one of his blog posts, he wrote his response to a desperate woman about her son who was suffering from major depression. Dr. Cochran wrote it was shameful that doctors won't prescribe opiates for him and inferred her to get it off the street if that was her only option. He blames the FDA for the illegal drug trade in this country because people are treating their mental illness with opiates because they're the only thing the works for them.
My doctor also prescribed me an opiate for major depression. He is a specialist in depression. He's been practicing for 40 years. The opiate he prescribed me is buprenorphine (Subutex). He prescribes it off-label all the time for patients who do not respond to his treatments.
I will not post his name on the internet for obvious reasons.
Doctors will prescribe opiates for mental illness. They are terrified of the FDA, but the ones that truly care about their patients will do it. Just because opiates aren't approved by the FDA, they can still be prescribed off label. The insurance companies just won't cover them.
"They have not been implemented for depression for hundreds of years."
Opiates have been used to treat major depression in the United States until the mid-1950s. Source: Bodkin J, Zornberg G, Lukas S, et al. Buprenorphine treatment of refractory depression. J Clin Psychopharmacology. February 1995. 15(1): 49-57.
"My best friend was "schizophrenic" and on many psyche meds. She had a food allergy- which once identified, cured her symptoms."
A food allergy made your friend schizo? You call me delusional?!
"Keep on popping your pills."
LMFAO. If I really wanted to, I could have an arsenal of "pills". I've been prescribed so many different medications, it was MY decision to stop taking them. I told my psychiatrist that I didn't want anymore Xanax, Klonopin, or Adderall. All of those meds are scheduled and can f*ck you up. I take opiates twice a day. That is the only thing I need and the only thing I take. And its the only thing that works for my depression. And Ill keep taking them until I get well.
"I was trying to help you- but apparently you don't want help, you just want attention. I'm not going to stroke your manipulative, dark ego."
I did not come here for help or sympathy! I came to this website and posted my story on the DRUG DISCUSSION board. I posted the aspects of my story that dealt with my personal experiences with DRUGS for my depression. I posted for 3 reasons:
1) I wanted to hear what others in the drug community thought about my experience with refractory depression and opiates being effective antidepressants.
2) I wanted to see if other people had similar problems (Cliffy78 and Falsifiedhypothesi)
3) I wanted to have my story out there so that people in a similar situation might find my story informative. Meaning, if they have refractory depression, they can ask their doctor about buprenorphine or try opiates themselves to help them through their difficult episode of depression
I didn't come here to get my "dark ego" or whatever the hell that means, here. You're so delusional.
"I'm not even going to waste my time with you after this post as you are just an attention seeker."
From whom am I seeking attention? I don't know any of you people and I will never meet any of you in person. How does one seek attention on an anonymous message board!? That doesn't make any sense. I posted my story online after reading other peoples' stories for months. I actually posted my story to help other people, because I know what major depression feels like and I know how frustrating it can be not being able to find relief. There are other people out there in the situation I was/am in.
"your borderline is very apparent which is why I was so easily able to identify you as such."
Lol. What a dick. You haven't identified anything and you aren't a doctor. I have ADD--its very similar to borderline. I was diagnosed with it and the lack of effect from cocaine and Adderall supports that diagnosis.
"You clearly don't want to help yourself. You just want a quick fix."
First of all, I didn't come here for help. This all happened to me back in March. I sought help outside of an anonymous message board, thank you. And in my case, I needed a quick fix, because I was/am suicidal. So yes, quick fixes are a good idea for such people. People diagnosed with major depression, 6% of them will commit suicide. I already tried to commit suicide this year when I jumped in the rapids. It was my intent to die that day.
"It HAS been proven that exercise is more effective than an antidepressant- high intensity exercise. Many studies are online, and you're here telling me it's all bogus?"
No, it has not been proven.
And I already posted on here that whenever I would go running, I would get MORE depressed. A few months in to the major depression, I signed up for this outdoor adventure club (this was related to the suicide attempt at the white water rafting get together). And I would go biking, kayaking, hiking…I signed up for yoga too and did that weekly. I would go to the gym at my apartment complex and run….MY DEPRESSION GOT PROGRESSIVELY WORSE! I felt alone, empty, my body hurt, I was exhausted, my stress got higher…It made me miserable…...What don't' you understand about that???? There are many people like this. I didn't write about the exercise because this post is a drug forum. I wrote about my experience with drugs. Not anything else. You just judged me quickly and assumed things right away and that is what pissed me off.
Many people say the same thing about exercise not helping them. And here is a study. Findings were exercise made no difference in depressive symptoms:
http://www.bmj.com/content/344/bmj.e2758
"An antidepressant IS a quick fix as opposed to a change in lifestyle."
How the fuck do you know what kind of lifestyle I lead? Yes, I used to drink alcohol, but besides that, You don't know what I eat. You don't know how physically active I am. You don't know what my spiritual beliefs are. You don't know what kind of hobbies I have. You don't know anything about me, aside from the story I posted about what happened to me this year and my experience with medications. As a matter of fact, I ran a 10K with my best friend right before the major depression set it. So STFU.
I didn't do drugs right away, if you even read my original post. I stopped drinking alcohol and went to a psychiatrist to get help immediately. I started a yoga regiment, went to cognitive therapy every week for months and tried different kinds of medications before I turned to "hard" drugs. That was the whole point to posting this story. NOTHING WAS WORKING. It is the title of the post!
So, you say you suffered from "extreme" depression? How long have you had depression? And can you describe to me what it felt like for you personally, to be suicidal?
Also, I'd like to know your personal experience using opiates?
"What I'm trying to say is that even the "anti-depressant" effects of an opiate are going to go away with time, and you are going to be dosing just to stay out of withdrawal WITHOUT any "anti-depressant" effects of the drug."
I'm pretty sure that even a tiny dose of an opiate can prevent withdrawal. I'm also pretty sure that junkies increase their dosages exponentially because they are chasing a high. I'm not. So, I don't think that is completely relevant to my situation. Like my recent response to Cliffy78, only time will tell if heroin ceases to alleviate my depressive symptoms. Just because I stop "feeling" it, doesn't mean it will stop taking the depression away.
"We have no idea how depression or any other mental illness works or where their origins come from. We don't know exactly how psychiatric medicine even works. The "serotonin" theory is just that, a theory. There is no definitive proof linking depression to any lack of certain neurotransmitters."
I've researched depression a lot in my spare time. Just because depression is a complex disease, doesn't mean that there is no understanding of it. Doctors do have an idea of how depression and other mental illnesses work and their origins. It is a scientific fact that depressed person's brain is different than a non-depressed person's brain (& exercise won't change that) Brain scans illustrate this and the differences are both significant and consistent. It is the consistency of difference that ensued in theories about neurotransmitters playing a major role. In addition, the medications developed to target neurotransmitters help a lot of people. SSRI's, MAOIs and other antidepressants are effective for over 50% of depressives.
This video is one of my favorite resources. It is a lecture by Sanford University's Professor Robert Sapolsky. I'll take his expertise over your's, thank you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOAgplgTxfc
"You cannot name me a single doctor in a first world country who would give an opiate script for mental illness. Again, you're clearly delussional if you truly believe your own shit."
Dr. Robert T. Cochran
Below is his website:
http://www.understandingpain.com
Dr. Cochran has been practicing for decades in Tennessee. He wrote a book called the Opiate Cure. In it, he described his years of experience of prescribing opiates to patients with chronic pain. Patients who also had bi-polar disorder, or any mental disorder on the bi-polar spectrum, including major depression, were cured by the opiates intended for their chronic pain. His book is code for opiates curing mental illness. He cannot openly say it directly because he will lose his medical license, but everyone who knows about him and reads his books knows this obvious fact. I've read all his blog posts on his website too, and he is very good at inferring this. He also claims that many in his profession have seen the exact same results.
In one of his blog posts, he wrote his response to a desperate woman about her son who was suffering from major depression. Dr. Cochran wrote it was shameful that doctors won't prescribe opiates for him and inferred her to get it off the street if that was her only option. He blames the FDA for the illegal drug trade in this country because people are treating their mental illness with opiates because they're the only thing the works for them.
My doctor also prescribed me an opiate for major depression. He is a specialist in depression. He's been practicing for 40 years. The opiate he prescribed me is buprenorphine (Subutex). He prescribes it off-label all the time for patients who do not respond to his treatments.
I will not post his name on the internet for obvious reasons.
Doctors will prescribe opiates for mental illness. They are terrified of the FDA, but the ones that truly care about their patients will do it. Just because opiates aren't approved by the FDA, they can still be prescribed off label. The insurance companies just won't cover them.
"They have not been implemented for depression for hundreds of years."
Opiates have been used to treat major depression in the United States until the mid-1950s. Source: Bodkin J, Zornberg G, Lukas S, et al. Buprenorphine treatment of refractory depression. J Clin Psychopharmacology. February 1995. 15(1): 49-57.
"My best friend was "schizophrenic" and on many psyche meds. She had a food allergy- which once identified, cured her symptoms."
A food allergy made your friend schizo? You call me delusional?!
"Keep on popping your pills."
LMFAO. If I really wanted to, I could have an arsenal of "pills". I've been prescribed so many different medications, it was MY decision to stop taking them. I told my psychiatrist that I didn't want anymore Xanax, Klonopin, or Adderall. All of those meds are scheduled and can f*ck you up. I take opiates twice a day. That is the only thing I need and the only thing I take. And its the only thing that works for my depression. And Ill keep taking them until I get well.
"I was trying to help you- but apparently you don't want help, you just want attention. I'm not going to stroke your manipulative, dark ego."
I did not come here for help or sympathy! I came to this website and posted my story on the DRUG DISCUSSION board. I posted the aspects of my story that dealt with my personal experiences with DRUGS for my depression. I posted for 3 reasons:
1) I wanted to hear what others in the drug community thought about my experience with refractory depression and opiates being effective antidepressants.
2) I wanted to see if other people had similar problems (Cliffy78 and Falsifiedhypothesi)
3) I wanted to have my story out there so that people in a similar situation might find my story informative. Meaning, if they have refractory depression, they can ask their doctor about buprenorphine or try opiates themselves to help them through their difficult episode of depression
I didn't come here to get my "dark ego" or whatever the hell that means, here. You're so delusional.
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