opiate withdrawal hell

[Elsa]

Hitsquad.There is a product called Kratom. It will completely take away all of your w/d.Make sure it's legal in Nebraska.It does get better.Every hour you are a tiny bit closer to ending this destructive behavior.God be with you sir. I know exactly what you are going through.

 

[justtakethat]

This makes me sick, really stealing from someone with a broken back?? Because you cant find the self control to not get addicted? Disgusting.

 

[Ziebug]

Man, don't judge, a lot of us on this site have done things we feel deep shame about, I pretty much hate who I have been, luckily I was on subs for awhile so I'm gaining some self-respect back, but the amount of things I've stolen (pills, cash, jewelry, silver) from family makes me cringe everyday.... No one made me pop pills or sniff h or whatever and I accept that I've done some pretty shitty things because of not really thinking about what I was doing to my brain, body, and soul when I was young and stupid.... now I feel like I'm chained to a boulder I have to drag around everywhere....addiction is truly cunning, baffling and powerful.... Sometimes I feel so strong and ready, then one little teeny thing comes along(a song on the radio, my environment, an anxious moment), twists my mind and I don't even have the thought not to get high. I have learned lately how to work ridiculously hard to afford my habit,( I do make a pretty good amount per shift though) so I make just enough to afford bills and house/kid stuff and my habit, which is blessing because I'm in limbo trying to figure how to approach my detox....

so the rest of this is in response to the the original poster:I really feel your pain, I too have a family I live with that doesn't need to see me all crazy, and mean, and sobbing.... I also have a physical job and can't call out without a doc note... I just got back from family vacation so I'm trying to be at work for at least three weeks before I give them a week long doctors note..... So my plan is to go to a good detox(I have tenncare, but they actually have some nice rehabs that take my insurance) and medically detox... No methadone or sub.... I want to be unchained again, im done with feeling sick when I wake up half the time.... Another big reason for no subs is that my favorite opioid replacement therapy is Mary Jane; which is why I can't take subs anymore because my insurance eventually stopped covering my sub because I tested positive for weed all the time, Tennessee is definitely NOT a medical friendly or curious state.... Anyway the out of pocket costs with all the dr visits, therapy and scripts is way overboard... considering how much I paid for my h habit, which its relatively close to it, considering both are over 600 dollars a month(almost my rent). What now. Am I'm gonna constantly throw all my money to subs now? Hell no, I'm sick of it, over a decade of opiates collectively and I'm really tired, it's too much and I know I can learn how to live without it... I did have a year clean once (my pregnancy plus a couple more months) so I know I CAN do it; I really believe I can do it if I can be safe and enclosed somewhere away from the general public and my work and family.....also i say medical detox because these places will definitely give you badass comfort meds, and that is definitely crucial for me to not go insane or go right out the door to get dope... I believe if I follow the advice of those around me there and take those tools with me, I'll be ready for fight the mental part after that... I may need certain meds for awhile after I get clean, until my brain starts to heal; I accept that I have royally fucked up my brain chemistry... I hope you find the right way for you... If you can taper successfully, that's the best way..... If you haven't heard about Kratom you should check that out, I've never done it, just heard good things; just do some research if your interested... Sorry for rambling, I like to write so I figured I'd let you know your not alone, this addiction is a mother fucker and no joke, it just gets worse and worse the longer and harder you use opiates... Wishing u the best of luck, hope you figure out the way for you....
Ziebug