TDS Opiate addict trying to find the right med... if there is one...

[marienbad]

Long story short, I am an opiate addict and stopped at the start of this year, ending a long year of constant use (and several other years of less frequent use). When on opiates I feel "complete." I'm normally a very reserved person, sometimes to a fault, and opiates make me feel perfectly able to express myself and say what I want to say which I might be too shy to do when sober. Generally opiates seem to tick all the boxes for me, in every mental area. Of course they do, though, that's why I have used them so much and am an addict. But the problem is that nothing else seems to work in making me truly happy.

I am a very depressive person and have been for many many years, but lately it's been as bad as ever. I could elaborate but this post is long enough.

Another long story short, I have a strange problem with sensory input. I become overwhelmed by the smallest things like the feel of a fabric or the glare of a light or having to dry myself off after a shower. This has been a problem for a couple years but it's become UNBEARABLE. I feel like I cannot function some days because I simply can't stand how everything feels. This is the most central concern for me right now.

Anyway that brings me to now. I am taking Paxil for these problems, and have been for 15-20 days now. The problem is, like every other antidepressant I've tried, it's killing my stomach. Not to get graphic but 3 times in the past 12 days I've practically shat out my whole intestines. It's not just a minor inconvenience, it's a draining ordeal which is alll to familiar to me as someone with recurring stomach issues (not quite Crohns but somewhat similar). And my doc says Paxil is the anti-d LEAST likely to cause me stomach issues! I know people say this is just side effects that will go away, but to me it's debilitating and extremely painful and always launches me into a deep depression after where I feel hopeless and desperately crave opiates. And I'm only taking 5mg Paxil, that's how little I weight and/or how sensitive my body is.

So I am considering getting off it. The problem is it actually does help my sensory issues...

Anti-depressants I've taken in the past: Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Remeron, Seroquel, Cymbalta. All caused stomach issues (in addition to mental fogginess/zombie-feeling etc) that I could not stand.

I feel so lost as to what to do.

Any advice tips or help is extremely appreciated. I hope this post didn't ramble too much.

 

[Black Rabbit of Inle]

Congrats on making the decision to quit. I know it's not the easiest thing to do but it's very rewarding.

I've taken Paxil before and have also experienced the intestinal issues you describe, though they went away after a month and a half. How long has the issue been around when on the other medications? Have you spoken to your doctor about the Paxil, maybe he can prescribe you something to help.

 

[Captain.Heroin]

Have you considered trying out therapy? Sometimes addressing the issues head on can help out more than medicating the symptoms.

I'm sorry to hear you had such horrible issues with those medications.

It also sounds like you are suffering from akathisia, because most people aren't bothered by sensory input in the same way you describe. Coming off of the SSRI drugs you mentioned taking, can definitely cause akathisia, and it should subside as time goes on.

Definitely mention to your doctor about how you feel and how it prevents you from being as active/productive as you want to be.

 

[ronthetiger]

Opiates are extremely addictive, and my depressive episodes always cause me to crave that which made me feel so alive in life, oxycodone.

Quitting my abuse has been very rewarding for me, but I still have cravings when my depression begins to escalate. My advice to you is to keep a friend, whom you trust with all your issues, on speed dial in case you begin to crave opiates again. This, in my opinion, is the key to long term success, as a close friend (who is, for the most part, clean of drug use, especially opiate use) can easily distract me long enough for my cravings to subside.

I also was on Paxil for a little while, and I experienced the same sort of intestinal issues you've described above. My doctor claimed that if I ate a substantial meal prior to taking my daily dose that this issue would be resolved, and while it helped it did not relieve the issue entirely.

I'm unsure of your gender, but as a male I can honestly say that Paxil made it IMPOSSIBLE to achieve an orgasm. This may or may not be important to you, but the problem was so severe that I quit my Paxil regimen almost as quickly as I started. Sex is a very beautiful thing, and I would strongly advise you to keep this in mind before your body adjusts too much to Paxil, as I have read that this issue can be permanent.

I don't mean to scare you, as what I read was by no means scientific literature, but the issue was common enough that I read about it from several different forums.

Good luck with your New Year's resolution. Living life with an addiction is synonymous to living life as a slave. Be free. This is your life.

 

[SkagKush]

Congrats on making the decision to quit. I know it's not the easiest thing to do but it's very rewarding.

Hey marienbad,

Quitting a substance can be difficult and trying, but as Re-distributed said it can be very rewarding. The future really does have endless possibilites.

Im sorry to hear about the struggles you are having with your anti-depressants, and I can certainly understand how it would affect your life negatively. What other sort of things are you doing to help with your depression?

I know you are having a difficult time right now, but exercise can be a huge factor on depression. If it interests you, just start off with a small walk and let it progress from there. There have been many studies on exercise and depression, and it really can be something that makes a world of difference.

Also, Capt Heroin's suggestion of just talking to somebody is great. You never know what you might learn about yourself.

 

[jaspersilence]

try neurontin 300mg

 

[FnX]

Have you considered trying out therapy? Sometimes addressing the issues head on can help out more than medicating the symptoms.

I'm sorry to hear you had such horrible issues with those medications.

It also sounds like you are suffering from akathisia, because most people aren't bothered by sensory input in the same way you describe. Coming off of the SSRI drugs you mentioned taking, can definitely cause akathisia, and it should subside as time goes on.

Definitely mention to your doctor about how you feel and how it prevents you from being as active/productive as you want to be.

Honestly, I don't think akathisia is the word you're looking for. Akathisia is more of a form of restlessness, where you're physically inable to be still rather than a form over sensory oversensitivity, I've suffered from it a great deal because of various anti psychotics. I also have huge issues with sensory overload, for example ordinary touch sensations can feel really overwhelming and outright painful; if somebody is touching me in any way, the feeling always steals 100% of my attention and I'm unable to concentrate to anything else but this physical sensation of touch. Even the tiniest poke can feel like a substantial prod.

I also have taken SSRI to combat this problem, mostly escitalopram / lexapro / cipralex. On top of that, I have also had plenty of GI problems with SSRI meds, mostly nausea and diarrhea. It gets better over time, but I've never felt quite alright while taking a SSRI; I believe that if you're oversensitive to sensory input, chances are you're also oversensitive to feeling the side effects such as nausea of psych meds. Therefore the question to the OP is, does paxil make you feel more better than it makes you feel worse once you've gotten used to it (consumed for ~2 months daily)?

Also, cannabis helps with the nausea.

 

[mrflowers00]

if no anti depressants are working you could always see an addiction specialist and get on subutex it an opioid to stop withdrawals but it works really well as and anti depressant

 

[SkagKush]

^ this is something I originally thought about, but its a big step into maintenance and I believe all options should be exhausted first.

I read a study where patients who took SSRI's and exercised got something like 68 percent improvement, where as the patients who stopped taking SSRI's and just exercised got about 90 percent improvement.

Dont get me wrong, I'm not suggesting to get off meds. Thats really a conversation to have with your doctor, but what I am saying is maintenance is a bigger deal than a lot of people make it out to be these days.