One Time MDMA Brain Fuck OR Underlying Issue

[catinthehat4]

Hi all, I'm going through a rough patch in my life and I just wanted to gather some opinions. About 6 months ago I did around half a gram of Molly. It could've been anything, I know, but I have reason to believe it was primarily mdma and probably some speed/meth. Anyway, ever since then I have been struggling with depression. Initially after this happened I was dealing with anxiety and depersonalization, but that has gone away. I know I took a stupid dosage, especially considering I was a relatively inexperienced user. Nonetheless, a lot of people take a lot of drugs and don't have the type of reaction I'm having. Not saying what I did was smart, but you'd think in 6 months things would level out.

But the thing is, they haven't. At least not entirely. Everyday is like a fight. I fight feelings of laziness, worthlessness, self-hatred, lack of self-esteem, and a general sense that life is overwhelming and what's the point. I know these are all telltale signs of depression.

My question is: do you think the Molly just really did a number on me, or do you think it was just the straw that broke the camel's back and that I had an underlying predisposition for depression.

Since getting into college in the beginning of 09, I've been largely unhappy. There have been times when I've exuded depressive tendencies, such as narcissism and harsh judgments of others. Of this I am not proud. But still, nothing like I'm feeling now.

Any help/insight/opinion would be appreciated. I'm 20 years old and feel like a lost soul. I always had big dreams, but at the moment, life just seems like a nightmare.

Thanks and blessings.

 

[snafu]

Take some 5-htp and start working out

 

[Ego Death]

IMO nothing you can do but take it one day at time and start leading a healthier lifestyle. Getting off all drugs, eating healthy square meals, working out, socializing with non-drug users, etc. Your only 20 years old you have your whole life ahead of you and believe me you know shit about the world at 20. You'll run into rough patches throughout your life and what your going through now doesn't have to be anything more than that. Make a decision to turn over a new leaf and just start doing it and before you know it, it will be automatic.

 

[rickolasnice]

I think you had an underlying predisposition to anxiety / depression. I am a strong believer than MDMA abuse can fuck you up.. but 1 x 0.5g's of MDMA (+amphetamines) isn't gonna cause any significant damage.. if it caused any damage it would have healed by now..

Eat healthy and exercise.

If after a few months these problems do not go away then please go and see a doctor.

Give the healthy diet and exercise a good hard try first.