One more for the night

[Pyro]

And before I leave I take one last glance
behind me.
Have I lived up to everything you wanted me to be?
Am I not even close?
Are the broken things inside my room a reminder for me to know my place?
Or a loving memory of a broken father.
What did I do?
I'm so sorry that I hurt you this much.
I am just being myself
I'm sad because you don't know who your son is.
I am sad because I don't know who my father is.
The distance between us is so fucking vast.
I hate that.
The problem is me. I have always been this way.
I've always refused to change, though over time I have become so much different.
We didn't talk for so long, living in the same house.
And now when I walk through the door you can bearly recognize me.
It must hurt you so deeply
I know it must pain your heart so much to see me for who I'm... not becoming.
Static time.
"You have something inside of you that can move anyone you want to. If you remember just one thing I said to you, after I die... don't remember that. Remember this: I am very proud of you. I will always be proud of you... I don't want you to go through life thinking that I never was... that was *my* life with my dad, I will change things for you. You are my reason for life."
I believe you.
I do.
Sometimes though... when it seems like you aren't even trying to see who I am, you're just disapointed. When you break things of mine in frustration, put holes in the walls and yell and slam doors... I try to remember what you said to me.
You'll always be proud?
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
Just hold tight and let me grow up.
You never let me be a kid, you never let me grow, it was always just... "you're grown."
-----------
I guess I missed a lot of growing up. 'stages' and all that... sorta just passed them up or went through them at an accelerated pace. My friend says I'm probably 33? Growing up in the house that I did, with the parents I had... wonderful parents, caring. Accelerated existance.
I don't *blame* anyone, there is nothing to blame.
You wanted to know about my father?
Pyro
[This message has been edited by Pyro (edited 01 August 2000).]

 

[*SWeeT-e*]

Pyro, this is beautiful. It makes me think of my relationship with my parents, who "see" so much in me, things I don't think I ever can or will be. I hurt them, they hurt me. Did I fuck up as a daughter, or did they fuck up as parents? I don't know, but you're right, it's just really sad.
~kimmy.
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We are each of us angels with only one wing. And we could only fly embracing each other.

 

[Noodle]

...this is all that is the creator I want to know more about... ...will let the rain wash over me drip by drip. I feel that thing inside of me as you all do too. It is there if you look inward first. Everything outside
is creation 2: time and space.

 

[Noodle]

You can have a bump on me... hehe.

 

[writnpage]

Parents are amazing, once you start looking at them as people. They can be amazing or amazingly fucked up and sometimes they are both...but in the end, they're just fun to psycho-analyze.
My dad's my bestest friend in the whole world now...three years after not knowing whether either of us were alive.
FUckin amazing how we both grew up in each other's absence.
It takes leaving home FOR GOOD to see them as people and them to see you as a person too.
Great piece Pyro...as usual. My compliments to your writings have been saturated in the past, so I hope my silence suffices in future.
Loads of luvs,
-Amina
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"Like a bird on a wire, Like a drunk in a midnight choir, I have tried in my way to be free" - Leonard Cohen

 

[BRUH]

Pyro Great as usual you always know the words to make your feelings come to life so everyone feels a little piece of them MAD PROPS my hat is off!!!!!!
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What you did last weekend will fade slowly,But Let what you do today be remembered forever.Friends are your most prized possesion you may not know it until they are gone So love them for who they are and not judge them for what they do!PLUR