I normally try to avoid younger men in terms of sex/dating. The reasons are simply because these young pups tend to be horny 24/7 practically and Christ I can't keep up with that for one. The other reason is I like to be able to relate well to whoever my companion is, and a big age difference means he's not gonna know politics, music, how things were when I was growing up so he won't be able to relate.
There are exceptions, though. I've said for a long time that the most important part of a man for me is his mind. Eye candy is great, no doubt, but only frosting on the cake. And trust me I like my cake, not just frosting. This has been a very interesting experience being on this other site, mainly for sex, but also for people like me that want more than just sex, but not a full time committment. This 30 y/o guy kept after me. The thing is also, on the site, I let people know up front that I am a drug user. I cannot keep something like that hidden from someone I might see long term, even if only once in a while. If my using bothers him, then at least he has the choice to know up front, then move on if he wants.
I'm getting a lot of replies because men keep saying they love how I look, they love beauty. I'm flattered of course and what amazes me is how because some think I possess beauty, then they are willing to overlook my biggest flaw, drug addiction. I'm not out to use others for money, in fact the main reason I haven't had many sugar daddies is because I can't stand them thinking they are entitled to my body whenever they feel like it just because they are paying for.....I don't know, drugs, rent, whatever.
The other addicts/users on the site are easy to talk to, but the problem with them is that male tweekers can't leave their dicks alone and while my drug use is ok with them, the hard and fast fucking I used to do myself with a fuck buddy or 2 over 20 yrs ago, hell I get tired thinking about trying that, and besides, I don't want to. I guess I'm not like a lot of hard core junkies in that I require a great deal of sensuality before being able to explore sexuality with another person. So, that leaves normies. Initially, it's awkward talking to normies because some of them don't know what I'm talking about for one.
I thought I spelled it out in plain English, but maybe some of them aren't paying attention. The thing is, if I'm out with someone and it turns into a very long date like a few have indicated interest in, if I feel like I CAN'T even go to the john and take care of what I have to do, then I freak out. Yet, on the other hand when I've been in situations where I know that I could give myself a boost in private if I really felt the need, there have been times when I haven't for over 2 days. Still, it was knowing I could if I had to and being able to discuss it with an open minded person, somehow took the panic out of "having to" or "what if I can't."
This guy is really sweet, he's only 30, so I was very hesitant. He loves my body, I just saw his pics a couple days ago, and I'm like WOW! I didn't expect a PC nerd to have the body of an exotic male dancer, not that I cared about that in the first place really. Average looking is fine. Still, he's a total normie and I don't think he understood so I flat out told him, "I have to tell you that I'm a drug addict." He knew that I partied, but in anything more than a casual platonic relationship with a man, I have to tell the truth, even if it means risking never hearing from him again.
I've had tons of offers to meet up with a shitload of different guys, but it's been I guess 2 or 3 months now, I insist upon choosing someone carefully, if at all, for me and for him too. Both of us have long distance lovers going on, but of course in my case, I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact I'll never see him again, the long distance one that is. We'll keep in touch with emails and IMs but I have to be realistic, I most likely won't see him because of the distance and I'm financially in the low income bracket. So, it's all good. If I get to meet a part time friend/lover and actually get to talk to him to his face, be able to touch him...then that's awesome. If I don't, then I don't.
It's funny how before when I was all clean and sober for 27 months, I was 100 lbs overweight and I'm sorry, but that made me SO unnattractive! It wasn't even the vanity I cared about after a point, it was back pain, pain in both feet, how dancing and walking ceased to be a pleasure, instead a burden and a chore. I hated taking up space for 2 people instead of 1, God it was FUCKED! Now that I've kept off 50 lbs, everyone notices and tells me how beautiful I've become once again. The irony is that the only way I got the weight off, and became attractive again in most people's eyes, my own included, is the fact that it's directly due to being a hard core meth addict. The chronic fatigue is gone too for that matter. That's the other damn demon that was kicking my ass sober. The doc couldn't find anything medically wrong, and I long since ran out of $ with all the tests they ran.
My health insurance covers 40%-60%. I couldn't pay anymore, even while I was still clean and before my damn wages got attached. Initially, I just wanted some damn relief, which I got...for a price of course. The flip side is having to hide my shameful secret, being restricted where I go, how long I go, and with whom. I was restricted clean too, but in different ways. Being so fat meant not wanting to get up and do shit. Anything physical was a chore and God how wonderul it feels to be rid of that damn prison...even though it meant exchanging one type of ball and chain for another.
There are exceptions, though. I've said for a long time that the most important part of a man for me is his mind. Eye candy is great, no doubt, but only frosting on the cake. And trust me I like my cake, not just frosting. This has been a very interesting experience being on this other site, mainly for sex, but also for people like me that want more than just sex, but not a full time committment. This 30 y/o guy kept after me. The thing is also, on the site, I let people know up front that I am a drug user. I cannot keep something like that hidden from someone I might see long term, even if only once in a while. If my using bothers him, then at least he has the choice to know up front, then move on if he wants.
I'm getting a lot of replies because men keep saying they love how I look, they love beauty. I'm flattered of course and what amazes me is how because some think I possess beauty, then they are willing to overlook my biggest flaw, drug addiction. I'm not out to use others for money, in fact the main reason I haven't had many sugar daddies is because I can't stand them thinking they are entitled to my body whenever they feel like it just because they are paying for.....I don't know, drugs, rent, whatever.
The other addicts/users on the site are easy to talk to, but the problem with them is that male tweekers can't leave their dicks alone and while my drug use is ok with them, the hard and fast fucking I used to do myself with a fuck buddy or 2 over 20 yrs ago, hell I get tired thinking about trying that, and besides, I don't want to. I guess I'm not like a lot of hard core junkies in that I require a great deal of sensuality before being able to explore sexuality with another person. So, that leaves normies. Initially, it's awkward talking to normies because some of them don't know what I'm talking about for one.
I thought I spelled it out in plain English, but maybe some of them aren't paying attention. The thing is, if I'm out with someone and it turns into a very long date like a few have indicated interest in, if I feel like I CAN'T even go to the john and take care of what I have to do, then I freak out. Yet, on the other hand when I've been in situations where I know that I could give myself a boost in private if I really felt the need, there have been times when I haven't for over 2 days. Still, it was knowing I could if I had to and being able to discuss it with an open minded person, somehow took the panic out of "having to" or "what if I can't."
This guy is really sweet, he's only 30, so I was very hesitant. He loves my body, I just saw his pics a couple days ago, and I'm like WOW! I didn't expect a PC nerd to have the body of an exotic male dancer, not that I cared about that in the first place really. Average looking is fine. Still, he's a total normie and I don't think he understood so I flat out told him, "I have to tell you that I'm a drug addict." He knew that I partied, but in anything more than a casual platonic relationship with a man, I have to tell the truth, even if it means risking never hearing from him again.
I've had tons of offers to meet up with a shitload of different guys, but it's been I guess 2 or 3 months now, I insist upon choosing someone carefully, if at all, for me and for him too. Both of us have long distance lovers going on, but of course in my case, I've pretty much resigned myself to the fact I'll never see him again, the long distance one that is. We'll keep in touch with emails and IMs but I have to be realistic, I most likely won't see him because of the distance and I'm financially in the low income bracket. So, it's all good. If I get to meet a part time friend/lover and actually get to talk to him to his face, be able to touch him...then that's awesome. If I don't, then I don't.
It's funny how before when I was all clean and sober for 27 months, I was 100 lbs overweight and I'm sorry, but that made me SO unnattractive! It wasn't even the vanity I cared about after a point, it was back pain, pain in both feet, how dancing and walking ceased to be a pleasure, instead a burden and a chore. I hated taking up space for 2 people instead of 1, God it was FUCKED! Now that I've kept off 50 lbs, everyone notices and tells me how beautiful I've become once again. The irony is that the only way I got the weight off, and became attractive again in most people's eyes, my own included, is the fact that it's directly due to being a hard core meth addict. The chronic fatigue is gone too for that matter. That's the other damn demon that was kicking my ass sober. The doc couldn't find anything medically wrong, and I long since ran out of $ with all the tests they ran.
My health insurance covers 40%-60%. I couldn't pay anymore, even while I was still clean and before my damn wages got attached. Initially, I just wanted some damn relief, which I got...for a price of course. The flip side is having to hide my shameful secret, being restricted where I go, how long I go, and with whom. I was restricted clean too, but in different ways. Being so fat meant not wanting to get up and do shit. Anything physical was a chore and God how wonderul it feels to be rid of that damn prison...even though it meant exchanging one type of ball and chain for another.