Today is Wednesday, July 14, 2010 and it is now 432PM here on a ferry in the South China Sea, off of Mindoro, Philippines.
Recap: Came home from Sagada, paid for an operation for a kid in Jackie's compound.
This Entry: I am heading back to Mindanao, on a ferry, since I promised everyone down there that I would come at least once every 2 weeks to fufill my various obligations.
I am riding Economy, which as I have spoken about in the past, is simply a single bunk on an open deck filled with bunk beds. It it not a top deck so we have 1 above us serving as a roof but the sides of the deck are open. When it rains they pull down thin plastic tarps to keep the shower to a minumum but some always gets in unless you are sleeping in the centre of the deck.
Interestingly, I am in Signal 2 Seas right now, a typhoon. I spoke about another ferry, the "Princess," that capsised 2 years ago in Signal 3 (I believe it was 3). More than 1000 dead and in fact this week they are still pulling skeletons out, as the ship is still on the bottom.
Since that sinking, 2 years ago, ships can only leave in No Signal Seas, if a typhoon is on the menu. When we left 9 hours ago there was no Signal, so we set sail, but now? Hahahahah funnnnnn but I feel so bad for most here.
Why is it in a nation of literally 7,107 islands, virtually nobody can swim? Most bathe and wash clothes in rivers, many work in rice paddies and yet they cannot even float or "doggie paddle"?
At least I am alone if something goes wrong.
I got an offline IM from of all people, Rizza. She is telling me that since I am "having an affair" I should just annul our marriage. Sometimes I truly wonder about her. She ran away with a man, is sleeping in his bed but I am the one with an affair?
Usually it makes me laugh when I read her words but this time it pissed me off, not sure why. I told her curtly that of course I will annul if it is at all possible but of course it isn't. The Philippines is 1 of only 2 nations in existence that bars divorce, the other being Malta.
So, if you are thinking of marrying a Maltese (yeah, it COULD happen) or a Filipina (or Filipino) think long and hard (oooooh, imagery again).
Annulment IS allowed but nearly impossible to get and you have to prove your partner has mental problems, etc, quite messy.
Why is there no divorce? The Philippines prides itself on its family values. Yet, men mostly all cheat, have multiple families but most troubling (to me) is that there is a parallel system of law for Muslims that DOES allow divorce.
A Filipina cannot marry until 18. From 18 to 25 she needs her father's signature. A Muslim woman can marry at 14, though younger cases are allowed with proper signatures.
This dual system is asinine. We have multiple systems in Israel, but there are absolute minimums spready evenly. Ergo, we never have cases such as Jackie's, where a non-Muslim marries a Muslim and then produces a huge conflict between the systems.
Jackie ran away with the guy when she had just turned 17, he was 32. After hiding for 4 months he brought her to his parents and had an uncle of his, who he said was an Imam (Islamic clergyman) to officiate at their "marriage."
Islamic marriages in the Philippines require that the girl's father or legal male guardian as the case may be, sign a wedding contract. He is the "walid."
The contract has a dowry, called a "mehr," that is to be paid to Jackie in installments, immediately after marriage, after 1st son, etc.
These are very important theologically. Then the contract has to be filed within 15 days of signing, with a Muslim Registrant.
To get around the fact that she was non-Muslim and 17 he did 2 things: 1) He had Jackie sign an affadavit that he didn't kidnap her (his tribe,Tausug, believes in kidnap marriage and if they do it to non-tribe members they can be tried on a capital offence), and that she is entering freely into the marriage without coercion. 2) He "converted" her. In Islam you can become Muslim simply by saying a single sentence recognising Allah as the only deity and Muhammad as His messenger. Philippine Law though requires an actual certificate issued by a governmental authority.
How did he convert Jackie? His mum came and told her, "OK? Now you are Muslim," literally. Hahahahahahahaah.
When you file a Marriage Certificate you get a receipt, and they mail you back an official copy with a seal.
She never saw an official copy, or any copy. He showed a receipt that came from a store, instead of the detailed receipt given by the Registar. Never really converted her BUT even if he had, there is the issue of age and background.
He stupidly believed the affadavit would protect him. First, it shows fore knowledge, that by obtaining the affadavit he realised he was doing something wrong. A Muslim girl doesn't require such a paper, why obtain it? Fear of prosecution.
Under "walid" on the contract his uncle signed, again illegal, as only her legal male guardian can sign it. Finally, not 1 iota of any dowry was ever paid.
After she ran away, when I was IMing with her sister, she threatened Jackie and myself with legal action. In fact, in the Philippines running away from a marriage can get you sent to prison though in reality it very rarely happens. The few cases that I know of personally always ended in fines, albeit with a criminal conviction.
I laughed, I asked for what, and of course she said for Jackie abandoning him. I lauhed again and I told her:
Rachamim: Really?
Sis: Yes, REALLY!
R: Oooooooh, you promise? I want you to swear because I would LOVE that, absolutely love it.
*Dead silence*
R:I want him to file so I can file kidnapping against him. Maybe they will let me push the button when he gets Lethal Injection.
S: WHAT?
*Dead silence*
S: How could you do that?
R: Ask him to show you his Marriage Certificate. Ask him. But of course you already know that she was 17 then.
S:She converted!
R: Ask him for the Conversion Certificate, required by law.
S:But what about her kids!!!? You must accept her kids if you want her!
R: Of course I accept them, but Jackie doesn't want any part of that man and they are half his.
S: Tell Jackie that if she doesn't come home he will send the baby (her son) to Saudi Arabia!
R: Tell him to trade the baby for 15 camels...oh, and tell him to be sure he breast feeds it as well.
*Dead silence*
S: Can you come here? Since you are making a life with my sister the family wishes to see you and know you.
R: Sure, that would be great. In a few years I will contact you and we can have a soda together.
S: No, I meant now.
R: Sorry, the answer is no.If I were to go I am afraid of bloodshed.
S: We would never harm you, we are educated people!
R: I wasn't talking about anyone harming ME? I was worried about what I might do.
*Short silence*
R: Well, it has been real elder sister but I am out of here.I don't see the point of continuing our talk. See you in a few years maybe.
Recap: Came home from Sagada, paid for an operation for a kid in Jackie's compound.
This Entry: I am heading back to Mindanao, on a ferry, since I promised everyone down there that I would come at least once every 2 weeks to fufill my various obligations.
I am riding Economy, which as I have spoken about in the past, is simply a single bunk on an open deck filled with bunk beds. It it not a top deck so we have 1 above us serving as a roof but the sides of the deck are open. When it rains they pull down thin plastic tarps to keep the shower to a minumum but some always gets in unless you are sleeping in the centre of the deck.
Interestingly, I am in Signal 2 Seas right now, a typhoon. I spoke about another ferry, the "Princess," that capsised 2 years ago in Signal 3 (I believe it was 3). More than 1000 dead and in fact this week they are still pulling skeletons out, as the ship is still on the bottom.
Since that sinking, 2 years ago, ships can only leave in No Signal Seas, if a typhoon is on the menu. When we left 9 hours ago there was no Signal, so we set sail, but now? Hahahahah funnnnnn but I feel so bad for most here.
Why is it in a nation of literally 7,107 islands, virtually nobody can swim? Most bathe and wash clothes in rivers, many work in rice paddies and yet they cannot even float or "doggie paddle"?
At least I am alone if something goes wrong.
I got an offline IM from of all people, Rizza. She is telling me that since I am "having an affair" I should just annul our marriage. Sometimes I truly wonder about her. She ran away with a man, is sleeping in his bed but I am the one with an affair?
Usually it makes me laugh when I read her words but this time it pissed me off, not sure why. I told her curtly that of course I will annul if it is at all possible but of course it isn't. The Philippines is 1 of only 2 nations in existence that bars divorce, the other being Malta.
So, if you are thinking of marrying a Maltese (yeah, it COULD happen) or a Filipina (or Filipino) think long and hard (oooooh, imagery again).
Annulment IS allowed but nearly impossible to get and you have to prove your partner has mental problems, etc, quite messy.
Why is there no divorce? The Philippines prides itself on its family values. Yet, men mostly all cheat, have multiple families but most troubling (to me) is that there is a parallel system of law for Muslims that DOES allow divorce.
A Filipina cannot marry until 18. From 18 to 25 she needs her father's signature. A Muslim woman can marry at 14, though younger cases are allowed with proper signatures.
This dual system is asinine. We have multiple systems in Israel, but there are absolute minimums spready evenly. Ergo, we never have cases such as Jackie's, where a non-Muslim marries a Muslim and then produces a huge conflict between the systems.
Jackie ran away with the guy when she had just turned 17, he was 32. After hiding for 4 months he brought her to his parents and had an uncle of his, who he said was an Imam (Islamic clergyman) to officiate at their "marriage."
Islamic marriages in the Philippines require that the girl's father or legal male guardian as the case may be, sign a wedding contract. He is the "walid."
The contract has a dowry, called a "mehr," that is to be paid to Jackie in installments, immediately after marriage, after 1st son, etc.
These are very important theologically. Then the contract has to be filed within 15 days of signing, with a Muslim Registrant.
To get around the fact that she was non-Muslim and 17 he did 2 things: 1) He had Jackie sign an affadavit that he didn't kidnap her (his tribe,Tausug, believes in kidnap marriage and if they do it to non-tribe members they can be tried on a capital offence), and that she is entering freely into the marriage without coercion. 2) He "converted" her. In Islam you can become Muslim simply by saying a single sentence recognising Allah as the only deity and Muhammad as His messenger. Philippine Law though requires an actual certificate issued by a governmental authority.
How did he convert Jackie? His mum came and told her, "OK? Now you are Muslim," literally. Hahahahahahahaah.
When you file a Marriage Certificate you get a receipt, and they mail you back an official copy with a seal.
She never saw an official copy, or any copy. He showed a receipt that came from a store, instead of the detailed receipt given by the Registar. Never really converted her BUT even if he had, there is the issue of age and background.
He stupidly believed the affadavit would protect him. First, it shows fore knowledge, that by obtaining the affadavit he realised he was doing something wrong. A Muslim girl doesn't require such a paper, why obtain it? Fear of prosecution.
Under "walid" on the contract his uncle signed, again illegal, as only her legal male guardian can sign it. Finally, not 1 iota of any dowry was ever paid.
After she ran away, when I was IMing with her sister, she threatened Jackie and myself with legal action. In fact, in the Philippines running away from a marriage can get you sent to prison though in reality it very rarely happens. The few cases that I know of personally always ended in fines, albeit with a criminal conviction.
I laughed, I asked for what, and of course she said for Jackie abandoning him. I lauhed again and I told her:
Rachamim: Really?
Sis: Yes, REALLY!
R: Oooooooh, you promise? I want you to swear because I would LOVE that, absolutely love it.
*Dead silence*
R:I want him to file so I can file kidnapping against him. Maybe they will let me push the button when he gets Lethal Injection.
S: WHAT?
*Dead silence*
S: How could you do that?
R: Ask him to show you his Marriage Certificate. Ask him. But of course you already know that she was 17 then.
S:She converted!
R: Ask him for the Conversion Certificate, required by law.
S:But what about her kids!!!? You must accept her kids if you want her!
R: Of course I accept them, but Jackie doesn't want any part of that man and they are half his.
S: Tell Jackie that if she doesn't come home he will send the baby (her son) to Saudi Arabia!
R: Tell him to trade the baby for 15 camels...oh, and tell him to be sure he breast feeds it as well.
*Dead silence*
S: Can you come here? Since you are making a life with my sister the family wishes to see you and know you.
R: Sure, that would be great. In a few years I will contact you and we can have a soda together.
S: No, I meant now.
R: Sorry, the answer is no.If I were to go I am afraid of bloodshed.
S: We would never harm you, we are educated people!
R: I wasn't talking about anyone harming ME? I was worried about what I might do.
*Short silence*
R: Well, it has been real elder sister but I am out of here.I don't see the point of continuing our talk. See you in a few years maybe.