old school tweaker gets ugly honest

[AugustWest1965]

For some of you novice users, or weekend warriors, this concept may be hard to grasp. I mean lets face it, when we first tried meth none of us experienced that horrible highly dramatized "Montana Meth Project" look, but instead we experienced that awesome ego boosting euphoric rush, that leaves the impression that meth is awesome!
But eventually it becomes a little less awesome, and becomes a little more problematic.
For starters, the health negative aspects of this drug compared to some is down right awful.
Bad breath, greasy hair, baggy eyes, and excessive perspiration are just a few side affects that stand out right away, but can be tolerated. I mean who cares if they look like shit for a day, that meth high is worth it.
But the health issues aren't what users should worry about. Yes, take care of your appearance, but what most people seem to over look is the way this drug can change into a personality in itself.
Meth is like most drugs, becomes your friend at first, then by the end you wish you had never met them.
But meth is stronger than most drugs. Maybe not the feeling or euphoria, or experince is stronger, but meth is demonic. more like a spirit or entity.
It befriends anyone it can and feeds off the positive energy the user enjoys while on it. I mean everything is better!! Work, sex, cleaning, etc....
But meth makes its next move into your life by simply eliminating those around you who dont use meth. This starts with missing calls from friends on purpose, or making excuses not to hang out with them. These old friends you use to kick it with all the time dont sound fun for some reason, especially if you have to hide your high. Meth doesnt want these friends around....so social life .....bye bye
Now that it is just you and meth, closer than ever have time to hang out more and do fun exciting things that you just can't do when your sober. You all know the drill clean, organize, paint, build, whatever your twitch is, you are doing it with meth.
But wait, you got it under control. You still look in the mirror and see you. No bugs, no meth mouth, not like a tweaker. SO yeah you are jacked up and thinking this is awesome. SO you get your new tweaker friends at the stash house and start hanging with people like you.
OF course you are better than they! Your not doing weird shit like them! you are just smoking a bowl or doing a rail and hanging out. Nothing wrong with me, but these people are what the commercials are talking about!! not me!
Meth almost got you now. Its got you isolated from society, puts nothing but a fake ass judgemental ego in your scurvy head and and pumps hate and anger in your veins.
But not against meth, nooooo its just letting you see people for who they are.
But when you look in the mirror now all you see is meth. WHere did your soul go? What does that mean?
Manurisms, the little things one does that makes them themselves. Like a laugh or how you walk. Maybe even how to react to happy news, or bad news.
Meth takes this away from you. Anyone ever tweak and shop in public. How high is your self esteem when you walk in a store? Do you feel handsome or pretty? No!! Meth makes us hollow with only a heart that beats. Emotions we are suppose to feel arent there anymore.
Laughing at a joke is even hard. You know its funny, but fake laugh.
Try telling a story to someone who is sober and you are hiding your high from. How many words will you stumble on and mess up before you are done with it. And by the time you finsh talking the person is looking at you like What THE FUCK is this guy on.
Look people in the eyes. I dare you to. Because it is something meth hates. It doesnt want people to see that is no longer you in there, it wants you to stay away from society, because they judge you, they talk shit about you, and only see your flaws........meth wants you to think this because it MAKES you think like that!
So now you avoid any contact with life other than those you can relax around, which is other users who scheme and plot on you and more than likely are people you hate and talk shit on when they arent there. Its meth, flaws of other people makes your new meth embodied mind feel better.
We are hollow people, sure some of us arent but keep it up and meth with become you.
Lose your mind teeth and confidence. Meth takes your voice too. It will make you unsure of yourself in any situation it can that involves being around non users.
Stay up night after night and see that zombie look. Go to work and avoid everyone and sweat your ass off. WHo cares if no one talks to you anymore, you got meth to comfort you.
I hated my life and hated myself. NO friends girlfriend, family, no life. users and tweakers is all i had.
THEN one day you will try to quit like i did. 7 yrs i have used and I cried one day. I hated this person I became and tried to stop. Stayed clean 5 months. I was high on life! Talking to everyone I saw, had a new girlfriend, got my life back.
I relapsed 2 weeks ago...
nothing has changed here. same old darkness.
~poof~

 

[jsinger]

For some of you novice users, or weekend warriors, this concept may be hard to grasp. I mean lets face it, when we first tried meth none of us experienced that horrible highly dramatized "Montana Meth Project" look, but instead we experienced that awesome ego boosting euphoric rush, that leaves the impression that meth is awesome!
But eventually it becomes a little less awesome, and becomes a little more problematic.
For starters, the health negative aspects of this drug compared to some is down right awful.
Bad breath, greasy hair, baggy eyes, and excessive perspiration are just a few side affects that stand out right away, but can be tolerated. I mean who cares if they look like shit for a day, that meth high is worth it.
But the health issues aren't what users should worry about. Yes, take care of your appearance, but what most people seem to over look is the way this drug can change into a personality in itself.
Meth is like most drugs, becomes your friend at first, then by the end you wish you had never met them.
But meth is stronger than most drugs. Maybe not the feeling or euphoria, or experince is stronger, but meth is demonic. more like a spirit or entity.
It befriends anyone it can and feeds off the positive energy the user enjoys while on it. I mean everything is better!! Work, sex, cleaning, etc....
But meth makes its next move into your life by simply eliminating those around you who dont use meth. This starts with missing calls from friends on purpose, or making excuses not to hang out with them. These old friends you use to kick it with all the time dont sound fun for some reason, especially if you have to hide your high. Meth doesnt want these friends around....so social life .....bye bye
Now that it is just you and meth, closer than ever have time to hang out more and do fun exciting things that you just can't do when your sober. You all know the drill clean, organize, paint, build, whatever your twitch is, you are doing it with meth.
But wait, you got it under control. You still look in the mirror and see you. No bugs, no meth mouth, not like a tweaker. SO yeah you are jacked up and thinking this is awesome. SO you get your new tweaker friends at the stash house and start hanging with people like you.
OF course you are better than they! Your not doing weird shit like them! you are just smoking a bowl or doing a rail and hanging out. Nothing wrong with me, but these people are what the commercials are talking about!! not me!
Meth almost got you now. Its got you isolated from society, puts nothing but a fake ass judgemental ego in your scurvy head and and pumps hate and anger in your veins.
But not against meth, nooooo its just letting you see people for who they are.
But when you look in the mirror now all you see is meth. WHere did your soul go? What does that mean?
Manurisms, the little things one does that makes them themselves. Like a laugh or how you walk. Maybe even how to react to happy news, or bad news.
Meth takes this away from you. Anyone ever tweak and shop in public. How high is your self esteem when you walk in a store? Do you feel handsome or pretty? No!! Meth makes us hollow with only a heart that beats. Emotions we are suppose to feel arent there anymore.
Laughing at a joke is even hard. You know its funny, but fake laugh.
Try telling a story to someone who is sober and you are hiding your high from. How many words will you stumble on and mess up before you are done with it. And by the time you finsh talking the person is looking at you like What THE FUCK is this guy on.
Look people in the eyes. I dare you to. Because it is something meth hates. It doesnt want people to see that is no longer you in there, it wants you to stay away from society, because they judge you, they talk shit about you, and only see your flaws........meth wants you to think this because it MAKES you think like that!
So now you avoid any contact with life other than those you can relax around, which is other users who scheme and plot on you and more than likely are people you hate and talk shit on when they arent there. Its meth, flaws of other people makes your new meth embodied mind feel better.
We are hollow people, sure some of us arent but keep it up and meth with become you.
Lose your mind teeth and confidence. Meth takes your voice too. It will make you unsure of yourself in any situation it can that involves being around non users.
Stay up night after night and see that zombie look. Go to work and avoid everyone and sweat your ass off. WHo cares if no one talks to you anymore, you got meth to comfort you.
I hated my life and hated myself. NO friends girlfriend, family, no life. users and tweakers is all i had.
THEN one day you will try to quit like i did. 7 yrs i have used and I cried one day. I hated this person I became and tried to stop. Stayed clean 5 months. I was high on life! Talking to everyone I saw, had a new girlfriend, got my life back.
I relapsed 2 weeks ago...
nothing has changed here. same old darkness.
~poof~

It has affected my sense of humor and hardly laugh ive noticed that. The sweating makes me paranoid and depending on my level of excited ness conversations with people get butchered as I communicate very poorly and switch topics without completing my thoughts on most topics.
However i only hid my using from my roommate and deal with a fair amount of unwanted stress n worry although somehow she hasnt called me out and some very obvious signs are there.
Ive tried countless times to stop but usually from societal pressures and lately due to my health. Heart takes an absolute beating and i hate considering the stress on it. Issues with urine multiple has been presenting and kidney function is a grave concern.
Fuck normies though and it’s not even possible to not feel shame or wanna hide your appearance due to the current construct of society and im working on myself to get over what a fear mongered informed normie thinks and while I can’t particularly blame them bc its the information outthere there to keep big pharma in control and fill for profit prisons up im desperately trying to stop feeling any shame on the count im a tweaker. And I have two close friends who are normies and they tend to wanna blame the drugs for everything ive convinced them not all addicted people are inherently evil. I have a handful of close tweaker friends and one who took close to same path as me opiate addiction to meth and speed balling then hated the loss of full effect of the tweak thus no longer mixing and I trust them full on. All of my using friends are nuerotic and try and hide their insecurities and can be moody but whats the difference?
Long term meth abuses biggest downside is the tolerance and inability to feel its effects, sexual dysfunction that apparently changes ( i thought I had ed until one day I didnt and been good sense along with an extreme difficulty of cumming to now adays it’s random as hell and the horniness is a rarely seen occurrence but much appreciated when IT does occur). Health as mentioned is scary along with an increased feeling of being watched by someone who you dont want knowing. Societal shunning im not disagreeing its problematic but tell me who didnt feel shunned by society already before picking up? Addicts hate character faults and focus on whatever it is that creates a potent fear of acceptance as is and at least with addiction you can point the finger at drugs being the cause for your dismay instead of the reasons of your internal strife. Take the drugs out and try to overcome the issues and fail multiple times without progress and ask yourself why the fuck do I gotta change my entire lifestyle so some mis informed normie will give me an opportunity for friendship or romantic relationship employment whatever.
I know multiple addicts with good moral character and myself included are mired with a deep sense of shame bc they dont want to feel the deeply seated insecurities that plague them. I can almost guarantee normies dont dwell on their faults like addicts do and y they dont understand our fears of sober life. The more deep seated of an insecurity and fear of it being exposed the difficulty of sobriety is that much greater and goddamn right im gonna do what it takes to not dwell on my bullshit and its ridiculous that its still acceptable to not even entertain the idea that drugs can actually be helpful to those who do it.
Lack of understanding in humanity results in hatred. Unfamiliar shit is scary. The trans community gets all sorts of attention and plenty of hatred which is deplorable but they at least are getting their plight on the radar. They are born that way and i believe them bc they subject themselves to the fucked up judging in society for life’s entirety. Addicts are born with disorder and im at the belief now we dont have a choice either bc one reason being we dont process risk/reward decisions properly and also we understand the issue of legal matters and I’ll informed mother fuckers judging us but still can’t resist the temporary reprieve from are fucked up self deprecating thoughts. Normies have the same thoughts and due to this think it’s the same for all and it’s bs. Think my thoughts or any other addicts thoughts for years and tell me how interesting methamphetamine/fentanyl crack what have you looks. Until then really wish they would shut the fuck up and mind their own fucking business. Goddamn pisses me off. Basically racism and nobody even sees it that way

 

[jsinger]

For some of you novice users, or weekend warriors, this concept may be hard to grasp. I mean lets face it, when we first tried meth none of us experienced that horrible highly dramatized "Montana Meth Project" look, but instead we experienced that awesome ego boosting euphoric rush, that leaves the impression that meth is awesome!
But eventually it becomes a little less awesome, and becomes a little more problematic.
For starters, the health negative aspects of this drug compared to some is down right awful.
Bad breath, greasy hair, baggy eyes, and excessive perspiration are just a few side affects that stand out right away, but can be tolerated. I mean who cares if they look like shit for a day, that meth high is worth it.
But the health issues aren't what users should worry about. Yes, take care of your appearance, but what most people seem to over look is the way this drug can change into a personality in itself.
Meth is like most drugs, becomes your friend at first, then by the end you wish you had never met them.
But meth is stronger than most drugs. Maybe not the feeling or euphoria, or experince is stronger, but meth is demonic. more like a spirit or entity.
It befriends anyone it can and feeds off the positive energy the user enjoys while on it. I mean everything is better!! Work, sex, cleaning, etc....
But meth makes its next move into your life by simply eliminating those around you who dont use meth. This starts with missing calls from friends on purpose, or making excuses not to hang out with them. These old friends you use to kick it with all the time dont sound fun for some reason, especially if you have to hide your high. Meth doesnt want these friends around....so social life .....bye bye
Now that it is just you and meth, closer than ever have time to hang out more and do fun exciting things that you just can't do when your sober. You all know the drill clean, organize, paint, build, whatever your twitch is, you are doing it with meth.
But wait, you got it under control. You still look in the mirror and see you. No bugs, no meth mouth, not like a tweaker. SO yeah you are jacked up and thinking this is awesome. SO you get your new tweaker friends at the stash house and start hanging with people like you.
OF course you are better than they! Your not doing weird shit like them! you are just smoking a bowl or doing a rail and hanging out. Nothing wrong with me, but these people are what the commercials are talking about!! not me!
Meth almost got you now. Its got you isolated from society, puts nothing but a fake ass judgemental ego in your scurvy head and and pumps hate and anger in your veins.
But not against meth, nooooo its just letting you see people for who they are.
But when you look in the mirror now all you see is meth. WHere did your soul go? What does that mean?
Manurisms, the little things one does that makes them themselves. Like a laugh or how you walk. Maybe even how to react to happy news, or bad news.
Meth takes this away from you. Anyone ever tweak and shop in public. How high is your self esteem when you walk in a store? Do you feel handsome or pretty? No!! Meth makes us hollow with only a heart that beats. Emotions we are suppose to feel arent there anymore.
Laughing at a joke is even hard. You know its funny, but fake laugh.
Try telling a story to someone who is sober and you are hiding your high from. How many words will you stumble on and mess up before you are done with it. And by the time you finsh talking the person is looking at you like What THE FUCK is this guy on.
Look people in the eyes. I dare you to. Because it is something meth hates. It doesnt want people to see that is no longer you in there, it wants you to stay away from society, because they judge you, they talk shit about you, and only see your flaws........meth wants you to think this because it MAKES you think like that!
So now you avoid any contact with life other than those you can relax around, which is other users who scheme and plot on you and more than likely are people you hate and talk shit on when they arent there. Its meth, flaws of other people makes your new meth embodied mind feel better.
We are hollow people, sure some of us arent but keep it up and meth with become you.
Lose your mind teeth and confidence. Meth takes your voice too. It will make you unsure of yourself in any situation it can that involves being around non users.
Stay up night after night and see that zombie look. Go to work and avoid everyone and sweat your ass off. WHo cares if no one talks to you anymore, you got meth to comfort you.
I hated my life and hated myself. NO friends girlfriend, family, no life. users and tweakers is all i had.
THEN one day you will try to quit like i did. 7 yrs i have used and I cried one day. I hated this person I became and tried to stop. Stayed clean 5 months. I was high on life! Talking to everyone I saw, had a new girlfriend, got my life back.
I relapsed 2 weeks ago...
nothing has changed here. same old darkness.
~poof~

It has affected my sense of humor and hardly laugh ive noticed that. The sweating makes me paranoid and depending on my level of excited ness conversations with people get butchered as I communicate very poorly and switch topics without completing my thoughts on most topics.
However i only hid my using from my roommate and deal with a fair amount of unwanted stress n worry although somehow she hasnt called me out and some very obvious signs are there.
Ive tried countless times to stop but usually from societal pressures and lately due to my health. Heart takes an absolute beating and i hate considering the stress on it. Issues with urine multiple has been presenting and kidney function is a grave concern.
Fuck normies though and it’s not even possible to not feel shame or wanna hide your appearance due to the current construct of society and im working on myself to get over what a fear mongered informed normie thinks and while I can’t particularly blame them bc its the information outthere there to keep big pharma in control and fill for profit prisons up im desperately trying to stop feeling any shame on the count im a tweaker. And I have two close friends who are normies and they tend to wanna blame the drugs for everything ive convinced them not all addicted people are inherently evil. I have a handful of close tweaker friends and one who took close to same path as me opiate addiction to meth and speed balling then hated the loss of full effect of the tweak thus no longer mixing and I trust them full on. All of my using friends are nuerotic and try and hide their insecurities and can be moody but whats the difference?
Long term meth abuses biggest downside is the tolerance and inability to feel its effects, sexual dysfunction that apparently changes ( i thought I had ed until one day I didnt and been good sense along with an extreme difficulty of cumming to now adays it’s random as hell and the horniness is a rarely seen occurrence but much appreciated when IT does occur). Health as mentioned is scary along with an increased feeling of being watched by someone who you dont want knowing. Societal shunning im not disagreeing its problematic but tell me who didnt feel shunned by society already before picking up? Addicts hate character faults and focus on whatever it is that creates a potent fear of acceptance as is and at least with addiction you can point the finger at drugs being the cause for your dismay instead of the reasons of your internal strife. Take the drugs out and try to overcome the issues and fail multiple times without progress and ask yourself why the fuck do I gotta change my entire lifestyle so some mis informed normie will give me an opportunity for friendship or romantic relationship employment whatever.
I know multiple addicts with good moral character and myself included are mired with a deep sense of shame bc they dont want to feel the deeply seated insecurities that plague them. I can almost guarantee normies dont dwell on their faults like addicts do and y they dont understand our fears of sober life. The more deep seated of an insecurity and fear of it being exposed the difficulty of sobriety is that much greater and goddamn right im gonna do what it takes to not dwell on my bullshit and its ridiculous that its still acceptable to not even entertain the idea that drugs can actually be helpful to those who do it.
Lack of understanding in humanity results in hatred. Unfamiliar shit is scary. The trans community gets all sorts of attention and plenty of hatred which is deplorable but they at least are getting their plight on the radar. They are born that way and i believe them bc they subject themselves to the fucked up judging in society for life’s entirety. Addicts are born with disorder and im at the belief now we dont have a choice either bc one reason being we dont process risk/reward decisions properly and also we understand the issue of legal matters and I’ll informed mother fuckers judging us but still can’t resist the temporary reprieve from are fucked up self deprecating thoughts. Normies have the same thoughts and due to this think it’s the same for all and it’s bs. Think my thoughts or any other addicts thoughts for years and tell me how interesting methamphetamine/fentanyl crack what have you looks. Until then really wish they would shut the fuck up and mind their own fucking business. Goddamn pisses me off. Basically racism and nobody even sees it that wa

 

[psych0Naut!Lus]

Sounds like a seductive monster I have my own battles with such things not being able to source this locally without having a plug has kept me from its grasp thankfully surely susceptible to it

 

[Snafu in the Void]

meth is demonic. more like a spirit or entity.

I've met a lot of tweakers in my life, and hear this comparison often, a demon in crystal form. Meth addiction is like being posessed by a demon.

Meth makes me engage in extremely hedonistic behavior, more than other drugs. Combined with its tendency for psychosis, it certainly is demonic/satanic in theme.

I'm not religious and don't believe in such things, but I definitely appreciate the comparison.

 

[Pissed_and_messed]

amphetamine abuse is morbid

 

[Rectify]

Even though methamphetamine is a dare/devil drug, there is no denying the power of crystal. Develop moderation. If you are that concerned with its Satanic undertones, get some ETH. It is God-Speed. A slight entheogen whose feminine character is THE cure for machisimo meth. Eyes will dilate!

 

[jsinger]

Sounds like a seductive monster I have my own battles with such things not being able to source this locally without having a plug has kept me from its grasp thankfully surely susceptible to it

For some of you novice users, or weekend warriors, this concept may be hard to grasp. I mean lets face it, when we first tried meth none of us experienced that horrible highly dramatized "Montana Meth Project" look, but instead we experienced that awesome ego boosting euphoric rush, that leaves the impression that meth is awesome!
But eventually it becomes a little less awesome, and becomes a little more problematic.
For starters, the health negative aspects of this drug compared to some is down right awful.
Bad breath, greasy hair, baggy eyes, and excessive perspiration are just a few side affects that stand out right away, but can be tolerated. I mean who cares if they look like shit for a day, that meth high is worth it.
But the health issues aren't what users should worry about. Yes, take care of your appearance, but what most people seem to over look is the way this drug can change into a personality in itself.
Meth is like most drugs, becomes your friend at first, then by the end you wish you had never met them.
But meth is stronger than most drugs. Maybe not the feeling or euphoria, or experince is stronger, but meth is demonic. more like a spirit or entity.
It befriends anyone it can and feeds off the positive energy the user enjoys while on it. I mean everything is better!! Work, sex, cleaning, etc....
But meth makes its next move into your life by simply eliminating those around you who dont use meth. This starts with missing calls from friends on purpose, or making excuses not to hang out with them. These old friends you use to kick it with all the time dont sound fun for some reason, especially if you have to hide your high. Meth doesnt want these friends around....so social life .....bye bye
Now that it is just you and meth, closer than ever have time to hang out more and do fun exciting things that you just can't do when your sober. You all know the drill clean, organize, paint, build, whatever your twitch is, you are doing it with meth.
But wait, you got it under control. You still look in the mirror and see you. No bugs, no meth mouth, not like a tweaker. SO yeah you are jacked up and thinking this is awesome. SO you get your new tweaker friends at the stash house and start hanging with people like you.
OF course you are better than they! Your not doing weird shit like them! you are just smoking a bowl or doing a rail and hanging out. Nothing wrong with me, but these people are what the commercials are talking about!! not me!
Meth almost got you now. Its got you isolated from society, puts nothing but a fake ass judgemental ego in your scurvy head and and pumps hate and anger in your veins.
But not against meth, nooooo its just letting you see people for who they are.
But when you look in the mirror now all you see is meth. WHere did your soul go? What does that mean?
Manurisms, the little things one does that makes them themselves. Like a laugh or how you walk. Maybe even how to react to happy news, or bad news.
Meth takes this away from you. Anyone ever tweak and shop in public. How high is your self esteem when you walk in a store? Do you feel handsome or pretty? No!! Meth makes us hollow with only a heart that beats. Emotions we are suppose to feel arent there anymore.
Laughing at a joke is even hard. You know its funny, but fake laugh.
Try telling a story to someone who is sober and you are hiding your high from. How many words will you stumble on and mess up before you are done with it. And by the time you finsh talking the person is looking at you like What THE FUCK is this guy on.
Look people in the eyes. I dare you to. Because it is something meth hates. It doesnt want people to see that is no longer you in there, it wants you to stay away from society, because they judge you, they talk shit about you, and only see your flaws........meth wants you to think this because it MAKES you think like that!
So now you avoid any contact with life other than those you can relax around, which is other users who scheme and plot on you and more than likely are people you hate and talk shit on when they arent there. Its meth, flaws of other people makes your new meth embodied mind feel better.
We are hollow people, sure some of us arent but keep it up and meth with become you.
Lose your mind teeth and confidence. Meth takes your voice too. It will make you unsure of yourself in any situation it can that involves being around non users.
Stay up night after night and see that zombie look. Go to work and avoid everyone and sweat your ass off. WHo cares if no one talks to you anymore, you got meth to comfort you.
I hated my life and hated myself. NO friends girlfriend, family, no life. users and tweakers is all i had.
THEN one day you will try to quit like i did. 7 yrs i have used and I cried one day. I hated this person I became and tried to stop. Stayed clean 5 months. I was high on life! Talking to everyone I saw, had a new girlfriend, got my life back.
I relapsed 2 weeks ago...
nothing has changed here. same old darkness.
~poof~

That’s an extremely accurate description of the effects in public.
I’m not sure if it caused a loss of confidence though and only say that bc I had zero before the start. Meth gave me a personality or at the very least comfort in being myself and the inability to obtain long term sobriety is now out the picture and it’s not from a lack of effort.
I am really turning into an asshole and having a increasingly hard time not telling people I know every thing that bothers me about them and wondering if that’s what op meant about old school tweakers get ugly honest?
I’m also increasingly paranoid and I’ve prided myself on the aspect of not letting lights fuck with me or law enforcement after me etc and now that I’m thinking about it the girl I was crushing on so badly in my early years of methamphetamine use was at dependency stage and unsure how long but she was mentally strong then. I messaged here two years back and an extremely long incoherent message laced with paranoid illusions was returned and I was thinking she must be getting some highly potent stuff.
Im experiencing some extreme anxiety and it’s getting harder and harder to shut off. My first use was basically right after my 30th birthday and spiralled out of control fast. I had a fairly significant heroin addiction already so new i was prone to addiction. Majority of my circle are all opioids dependent and fent is doc. I began meth to ease my cravings and was desperately looking for energy. It worked and broke free of heroin addiction temporarily. First speed ball was an amazing experience however I wasn’t getting the full experience of ice and only used boy to sleep.
So my issue is ive been unable to break from methamphetamine after honestly no clue how many tries and a handful i really impressed myself on effort. Went inpatient twice and and sat in misery an entire year before relapsing and this was after 5 years of using with two of the 5 dependent And graduated to iv usage at a half g daily average. After the long stop I returned and was right were i left off and beyond. Went 3 months at iv about a gram daily and experiencing all sorts of health problems. Well really all to do with voiding my bladder and hospitalization occurred 3 times last year alone. Renal infarction was fairly serious and the other issue I’ve yet to solve. I can’t hardly communicate to the doc and this increse in paranoia began around 4 months back. I stopped again and beat the initial round of cravings and had around 30 days and the fog was thicker then ever a long with basically impossible to accomplish anything. Restarted this last run and was shocked at how high I got for three weeks which was enjoyable but the issues with pissing along with ejaculating and other weird shit was undeniably direct effects of meth abuse. I was successful at breaking off the needle a good 3 months but that’s no longer the case and I stopped then bc of an increasing frustration of inability to hit and no high is worth how badly that pissed me off bc it was becoming an hours long issue with fresh rigs. Source issues gave me an excuse to stretch my bag and my veins were healed in my secondary locations.
This feeling of being watched is no good and it’s making it hard to work bc It’s making me so self conscious and shaky and dropping shit. I can’t snap out when on a rare occasion I had mental fuckery I’d find it’s trigger and be cool. I barely used anything today and still experiencing it at a high level and until writing this ive been shakey.
If anyone reading this who has been dependent for years I’d love to hear from you!!! The biggest concern was physical health but it’s taking a back seat to this paranoia. I know its the meth but its like my brain no longer accepts that reasoning and cant stop the panic

 

[brainonbugs]

I haven't used in 6 months and wasn't even a very long term user, from February to October I was smoking ice sporadically. But I think of it all the time still and the cravings just never fully stop. I'll never forget how good it feels to smoke ice and how I've never felt that good since. One of the most accurate statements I've read about ice is that it's too good to be true. Fukn A.

 

[SpiralusSancti]

I haven't used in 6 months and wasn't even a very long term user, from February to October I was smoking ice sporadically. But I think of it all the time still and the cravings just never fully stop. I'll never forget how good it feels to smoke ice and how I've never felt that good since. One of the most accurate statements I've read about ice is that it's too good to be true. Fukn A.

25 to life from now and you’ll laugh about it
or just try better drugs instead meth and create new, nicer memories
we all been there brainob

 

[brainonbugs]

25 to life from now and you’ll laugh about it
or just try better drugs instead meth and create new, nicer memories
we all been there brainob

i just stick to my weed nowadays

 

[SpiralusSancti]

you know, once, twice or thrice I felt like you (gota have drugs to feel perfect) but than I met her
true story
but she left like drugs

I’m still relatively young so I know I’ll meet some nice drugs again
and hopefully few more crazy angels too

 

[SpiralusSancti]

that’s a circle of sex drugs lives