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ĐmantuNJofra

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 17, 2019
Messages
585
Location
Croatia
Hi everyone so I read bluelight like books or like everyday reading local portals; news and alike.

So I'm 36yr man with 7yr daughter who will go to school now firat grade, divorced but in very good relationship with my ex-wife the 2017. Was very stresfull year like my at the time wife with 7month pregnancy, me on 2cnd surgery of reconstruction of ligament, my parents were always stigmatized very conservative and very stubborn people who with my at the time wife havent had good relationship.

But as for drug use I triesd cocaine first time at the wedding of a neighbour which was very hard for me as I was a manager of very big retail store and young building the whole floor of a house and I was introduced with cocaine like: I said

O man I dont knoe how I will survive this wedding because my stomach hurts I cannot drink cause of that and my friend at the time one of the best as we were very interesting crew, said Hey lets not give that much money as a gift as we did meant to give maybe to much for someone that was just a neigbour barely even saw him, he than called from church and got 3gr of some coke.

We got to ti wedding big like a storage in wilderness, and went with car said we went for cigs and friend and my cousin put the half of gram I was already drubk from couple beers and We ordered a bottle of Jack Daniels, so when I took that fat line::::
Oooooo my frickin God I'm a fucking best lets turn over a frickin car!
Lets fuck evety waiter female one, which I did later a day later she lived at the small village between Karlovac and Zagreb she was and stil is very good person and very pretty ass and medium boobs.

So day after I had my small office at the job and at home I was reading bluelight, erowid, pill reports and drugs-forum at 2016.
My then Gf which is that wife or now ex-wife didn't know about it but I was reading about Mdma specificaly and friend that tried it called us at one loxal caffe bar at 8p.m. app., and it was just casual drinking bear and he said do you wanna try xtc I knew that it is mdma at keast partly and it was Mda with mdma as there was this he said:
Al of you said this is nothing I dont and then boooom 5 beer were for me 0,5 ones very drubk and we turned in likr light bulbs that was his deacription and as we were only ones with waitress in there me and friend wnet outside cause of adrenaline rush I sae car I remember it was Renault Megane new o e and as it drove by it was funny like a limo my vision was distorted but we were like us 5 of 7 was with our cars.

We managed to go 1km to a place that was working 0,24 for trucker as its on a main road to south of Croatia besides new highway

From then on my wife was partying hard and couple friend also tried mdma and we were all stayef good one the guy that bought us those xtc was in locked i patient 15 days on haldol and paliperidone and first when got out called me and I wenrlt there and talked to a psych I know withou him knowing to get him a better care. Cause he is stubborn also and if so.ething would be not in his way he eould make me a guilty party as that is his thing but he has a lot of better qualities as he is a bit schizo amd bipolar but Im no better now.

Found Ghb like Ooo here is a drug that will put me to sleep 2hrs and I woke up refreshed without hangover to go to work,
Later I caught myself in a helkish loop of dopamine rebound anxiety as almost got metabolic acidosis, I went to a clinic in state hospital for addiction amd got mirtazapine, later with venlafaxine as in another I got xanax Xr 2mg 3x daily which was more than 4mg daily dose
I was in cinstand anhedonia state no frickin luck no feelinh anything it was hell more than any withdrawals
And I got to try buprenorphine like a small piece of it.
I never tried heroin, never saw it that was not our thing.
I saw that buprenorphine is an opioid partialy but it was like the vest antidepressant ever.

Then she gave me buprenorphine and said you now have prescrined opioid with MpH( speed or moa like cocaine) and pregabalin you are like a Suoerman if you know how to use it and I didy I was seeing a lot of was as compartmentalization and became always calm, with very good was of expressing myself ecen in english which I then used greatly for work relations.

So when I said to my psyh she sai look it is not a joke but it is not that bad and we will make a plan in year two to wean you off and we did that and now Im neuropathic and with right leg paresthaesia precribed pregabalin 600mg, daily, Concerta 36mg 1,1,0 or 2x daily, and Rivotril( clonazepam) 2mg 1x dauly which I have now for 7months never went before or never took to much otlr if I do I just tough it out with pregabs, black seed oil, gotu kola and phenibut before as it is very tricky but what Gabapentinoids are my thing I think but also havent tried GHB from 2020. When I stopped cold turkey.

I was in hell of different psychs who gave me quetiapine, sulpiride, trazodone, tianeptine( Coaxil), amitriptiline and venlafaxine which was hell to stop but manageable

The worst was two times phenibut and xanax xr CT stupid but also doctors were confused and I rhought I will tough it out a week of hell
I tackled bupreborphine 2mg daiky wit Kratom Green Malay and Red Vein from o e EU vender not to source.
And paws was there as headaches I need to went home not working for 2 months and not on sick leave I said that I want to break the contract and when I was over I gor my job back!

I tried to get nodafinil and lyrica and I did when found my psych who I mentioned uo there for bupe, who later said if modafinil makes rash
This was like a telepatic: I thought please should I ask for Concerta and she said: Do you wanna medicine callled Concerta but you need to pay for it...not much

Now I here n there taje mdma with Lsd And Ketamine meaning once in 3months last weekend was one of those

I wanna say that here there are very good crew and very good fuckin arround smart satiric people but also if you need some help for anyone mods are great and any of the crew there are people here that are in neuropharmacology are like Gods to some docs and psychs.. and there is a lot of old threads that helped me understand some thing and stuff to calm myself and to think before jump as to say.

SO greetings or best and kind regards from beautifull Croatia and stay safe always read there are a lot of sites with whole odf phd works and case studies as trip reports here and erowids for any substance
I was waiting now in caffe bar for my rx for Concerta to get through as they had probkems with central app for e-RX.

Sorry for longer post
 
Who gave you the little bit of buprenorphine?

Why did your wife shortly after give you buprenorphine?

Any connection there with why she’s your ex wife now?
 
Sorry. I know that’s forward but you’ve clearly got something you want to chat about. I read the whole thing and it seems like fun but you also seem to be going around something.
 
no no sorry the guy I met on the party gave me bupe

the wife didnt take bupe only stims mdma and ghb but when we saw shes pregnant she stopped as she is older than me and also tried drugs first time after me and bupe was my thing not hers

She stopped with drugs all of it in pregnancy so daughter now is 7 and smarter than both of us


No no I just wanted to say what was i taking as im here like 4 years and more but changed username in 2021.
 
Any connection there with why she’s your ex wife now?
a little but no it is some other stupid actually story impulsive that was started by parents and me started to stop the GHB couple times and was angry also, very stressfull job as manager never at home
 
I love mother of my child and she is very good person so I don't wanna say anything on her but there were also a lot of her stupidities that were ruining the already born child meaning we were arguing and for the sake of the child we separated as I also wanted to break up couple times before , so yeah drugs are tools drugs don't have feelings people do

the thing with me when i take rec substances and alcohol I dont go manic or I never blacked out on benzos or doing some stupid shit not remembering i always was calm and also asertive and extrovert but not changing personality like she did even couple times just taking alcohol now as some of my friends like I see a diff persons irational almost like you need to punch them or give them shot to sedate them just a metaphor I would always just drove her home and myself as others
 
sorry for fast writing without any punctuation I try to write something else and read at the same time for my work so you pull my tounge (a saying) when I saw and yeah now it is all good I just need to find smart beauty or just beauty or just smart but woman well I'm picky and I'm not old but old fashioned the Tinder and shit is still like blackrock in the moon in 2001. A Space Odyssey
 
sorry for fast writing without any punctuation I try to write something else and read at the same time for my work so you pull my tounge (a saying) when I saw and yeah now it is all good I just need to find smart beauty or just beauty or just smart but woman well I'm picky and I'm not old but old fashioned the Tinder and shit is still like blackrock in the moon in 2001. A Space Odyssey

Well I hope for you that you find a woman who is smart and who pleases your soul and whose body is a treasure trove of unknown pleasures.
 
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