Whitecat_X
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2010
- Messages
- 18
Binged for 10 days after I was accidentally given a refill at double the dosage I had been taking. (OCs)
Now, why hullo I'm out - I'm on day 2 and... actually not craving like I expected I would be.
I've been really sick but not as bad as I coulda been I guess, I had the foresight to do a quick taper when I saw I was running out so just a lot of diarrhea this time around, and of course chills, sweating. But I got a ton of OTC sleep meds so I've been able to rest and drinking tons of fluids. And heeyy detox is great for weight loss yea? 8)
Anyways I know I had posted here before a couple weeks ago when I was trying to get clean and y'all were rooting for me, and I wanted to say - thank you. I failed last time but who knows, maybe it will stick this time. I just want to be done. I'm so sick of going through withdrawals. SO SICK OF IT. It's what finally stopped me for calling for yet another refill. It what kept me from continuing to look for the dealers (yes I went out looking for the dealers in the town and wtf?? didn't find any, after 5 hours of scouring all the "bad" places in town that are reputed to have a ton of contacts.....) ..... and then I finally just went home and said, no more. No more of this shit.
I sat here sobbing a few minutes ago.. missing my mum, and my sisters and my kids (they're visiting their dad for the summer). And just in general feeling sorry for myself. And then I realized that I've got it really good and life could be a lot harder.
My body hurts. My hips hurt. And fucking cramps. I feel like someone took chainsaws to my bones or I got chewed on by pitbulls for a few hours. I know this goes away eventually I just got to get through this.
that is all. Thank you for letting me rant...
Now, why hullo I'm out - I'm on day 2 and... actually not craving like I expected I would be.
I've been really sick but not as bad as I coulda been I guess, I had the foresight to do a quick taper when I saw I was running out so just a lot of diarrhea this time around, and of course chills, sweating. But I got a ton of OTC sleep meds so I've been able to rest and drinking tons of fluids. And heeyy detox is great for weight loss yea? 8)
Anyways I know I had posted here before a couple weeks ago when I was trying to get clean and y'all were rooting for me, and I wanted to say - thank you. I failed last time but who knows, maybe it will stick this time. I just want to be done. I'm so sick of going through withdrawals. SO SICK OF IT. It's what finally stopped me for calling for yet another refill. It what kept me from continuing to look for the dealers (yes I went out looking for the dealers in the town and wtf?? didn't find any, after 5 hours of scouring all the "bad" places in town that are reputed to have a ton of contacts.....) ..... and then I finally just went home and said, no more. No more of this shit.
I sat here sobbing a few minutes ago.. missing my mum, and my sisters and my kids (they're visiting their dad for the summer). And just in general feeling sorry for myself. And then I realized that I've got it really good and life could be a lot harder.
My body hurts. My hips hurt. And fucking cramps. I feel like someone took chainsaws to my bones or I got chewed on by pitbulls for a few hours. I know this goes away eventually I just got to get through this.
that is all. Thank you for letting me rant...