The emotionally abusive ex boyfriend that dumped me in October will be home this Friday on his first leave since. I know he is going to try to manipulate me, use me, play me, keep me on his little leash. I've flatly refused.
He said the other day that he was thinking about me the other night, code for sexually. I said I didn't really care, didn't want to hear about it though. His comment was...so you don't want to hear about...know sexual fetishes and past experiences with us...
I was kinda blunt that he likely didn't want to hear about that. But, Sean tends to like to keep our private life private. He said he was talking about us, our past. I said we had our times, but the past is in the past. Also I said that I didn't think that it was appropriate for us to talk about this. Sean wouldn't appreciate it I'm sure. Thereby proving that I'm not the cheating gf that he ALWAYS thought I was and accused me of being.
I hope that I can remain strong in the face of this. I've always tried to remain friends with my exs. I have always been there when they have needed me, we were always friends from the start anyway. For Michael's sake I can forgive him, and I feel sorry for him really. That if he keeps treating women the way he did me, and never comes home, he will end up miserable and too late to fix it.
But I will prove he won't control me, he won't use me and I'm not a cheating gf. I care very much for my bf now, he treats me well. I cheat, he WILL leave I KNOW that. And there is no reason to cheat. I'm happy with Sean, happy with our sex life, happy with his emotional support.
But I fear my own desire for love and attention. I have a few things to prove to myself I suppose.
He said the other day that he was thinking about me the other night, code for sexually. I said I didn't really care, didn't want to hear about it though. His comment was...so you don't want to hear about...know sexual fetishes and past experiences with us...
I was kinda blunt that he likely didn't want to hear about that. But, Sean tends to like to keep our private life private. He said he was talking about us, our past. I said we had our times, but the past is in the past. Also I said that I didn't think that it was appropriate for us to talk about this. Sean wouldn't appreciate it I'm sure. Thereby proving that I'm not the cheating gf that he ALWAYS thought I was and accused me of being.
I hope that I can remain strong in the face of this. I've always tried to remain friends with my exs. I have always been there when they have needed me, we were always friends from the start anyway. For Michael's sake I can forgive him, and I feel sorry for him really. That if he keeps treating women the way he did me, and never comes home, he will end up miserable and too late to fix it.
But I will prove he won't control me, he won't use me and I'm not a cheating gf. I care very much for my bf now, he treats me well. I cheat, he WILL leave I KNOW that. And there is no reason to cheat. I'm happy with Sean, happy with our sex life, happy with his emotional support.
But I fear my own desire for love and attention. I have a few things to prove to myself I suppose.