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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Octsober!!

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^^ Thank ya :)
I'm doing all the right things, I'm more worried about tomorrow as I know the cravings will be worse - atm I'm a bit worn out/scattered for them to be here in full force. But hopefully I can wake up tomorrow and plan not to use for just that day, then the next , etc etc :)
 
Well, I've failed spectacularly so far...I've managed to consume more drugs and alcohol in the last few days than I have in months. I had a couple of big things on this weekend though so I wasn't expecting to stay totally sober...the test for me will be the nights I'm tempted to go out and have a drink just for the hell of it...
 
Day 3 starting for me.

Waking up with very slight anxiety but it has lessened today and it would have been much worse if I drank. Stomach is slightly upset but nothing serious at all. I am really proud of myself. I haven't gone this long without a drink in awhile (years). Plan on finishing the herb this week, I have no problem stopping cannabis use though. I was also able to watch my Blackhawks yesterday without drinking. Noticed I was better able to follow the game.

Football day today... Lets Go Bears! Really looking forward to the monday night game, can't decide who I hate more The Packers or Favre.
 
footscrazy, sushi: just keep going! i know its easier said than done but i really think taking it day by day helps. at least for me.

melatonin seemed to work last night, but man the dreaming was intense and i woke up often. tonight i will split one of the pills in half. my plan today is to get to a yoga class or the gym, read, and try to get outside for a bit.

good luck to everyone today :)
 
Melatonin will give you pretty intense dreams... it is naturally produced by your pineal gland.


Anyways I notice I am enjoying cannabis much more without the beer. And here I was thinking that I had to have a beer or two in me before I smoked. Nope, I just had to smoke a bit less. I was telling myself I liked the sedation, which I did right before bed. Problem was on weekends I never stuck to that so I would be tired by 5:00.

Too bad I'm going to take a break from it too. When I am honest with myself I know it will get in the way of studying, which is the entire point of me taking this break.

Anyways I'm out to run a few errands. Feel like I will be ready for the gym tomorrow after work.
 
I want to join. My b-day is Oct. 22.

Here's my history: I started using drugs heavily when I turned 18 (and went off to college). My DOC then was, as others have stated, DRUGS. Any and every kind of drug that I could get my hands on, including pot (if one really considers that a drug), XTC, mushrooms (which I used about once a month), cough syrup, adderall (amphetamine), cocaine (usally powdered, but even tried crack once but it sucked), along with hydrocodone, morphine, oxymorphone and pretty much every other opiate I could get my hands on. And then I met the love of my life: Oxycodone (more specifically Oxycontin and Roxycontin). I tried these drugs (with the same active ingrediants in varying amounts as I'm sure most of you know) for the first time when a loved one of mine passed away from cancer.

He had a huge leftover stash of Oxycontin 80s, which I must admit shamefully, that I stole a few days after his funeral (no one ever noticed). After I ran out of those (around 100 of them), I didn't touch Oxy again for a few years ( I didn't even notice a withdrawal when I quit ... and I took them orally).

Then I hurt my back when I was 22 and was diagnosed with spinal stenosis, a bulging disc between my L3/L4 and arthritis in my sacrillic (sp) joints.

I worked my way up from 10mg 2x daily Oxycontin and 5 mg 2x daily percocets to my current level of 40mg 3x daily OxyContin and 5 mg 2x daily percocets. Notice I said 3x daily for the Oxys and 2x daily for the percocets ... that's what I was prescribed, but I usually run out of my monthly prescription 2 months early because of my pain (aka I'm taking too much because it doesn't cover my pain).

I'm currently out and don't get a refill for two weeks, so my goal is to get off the Oxys and not have to get my script filled in two weeks. I'm currently following the Thomas recipe ... I took my last Oxy 40 yesterday and took the last of my percocets this morning so I could clean up my apartment.

When I go back to the doctor I want to ask him to switch me to a medicine with a lower abuse potential and hope he doesn't just kick my ass to the curb.
 
3 days sober for me! =D

Yesterday afternoon I had some major cravings, they started about the time I usually start drinking...could feel it in the pit of my stomach, I fought them and made it through the afternoon. When all was quite for the night and I was starting to relax for the evening I went to pour myself a drink and I thought, "Oh yeah, I'm not doing this today." and didn't pour a drink!!!

Today...I already have the cravings...I already have the excuses going in my head..."I've been longer without now than I have in years...you deserve a reward...you met your goals for Octsober already...you can improve on the next sobriety periodnext time...etc." You all know what I mean.

It's going to be an hour by hour thing I think...and I'm just not sure...:!
 
^
i know what its like when that voice comes in telling you that you "deserve it."

now that you've come so far, have you thought about revising your goals?
 
footscrazy said:
My goal right now is just to last today without using.
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I can dig that. Don't think ahead too much or you might get overwhelmed. Insomnia can be a motherfucker but if you can sleep would going to bed early help any to get you through?
 
Free pass day went just fine - wish I could have met up with more folks but it was huge and crowded. I am again abstinent and doing just fine with it. Also, due to the fact that the one shop that still sells clove cigarettes is closed today and tomorrow, I am also unexpectedly abstinent from nicotine. 8o (I don't smoke much, but no withdrawals? Seriously?)

Ryka, you're doing great :) I'm really proud of you for not pouring that drink. Is it possible for you to not keep alcohol in the house at all?

I also decided that, provided I make it to the end of the month, I will be rewarding myself with a shiny new Iphone - my contract is up now, but I don't get my reward until after I complete my challenge. I'll use the money I'd have otherwise spent on drinks.

Not thinking too far ahead aside from that is key. Every day that I do not drink is a blessing - a benefit to my mental and physical health.

Continued best to everyone. If you're not able to be abstinent today, that doesn't dictate what happens to you tomorrow or in the future - kind of the converse of "one day at a time". And remember that your health comes first. I would not have been able to go CT from alcohol and keep healthy - specific to the alcoholics, is anyone trying to do this without either a taper or benzodiazepines?
 
^^

Glad to hear it went well. I was waiting to see how it went.

I just took an hour long walk, followed up by some pushups and pullups. Cannot wait to hit the weights tomorrow.

First time I can say I have felt "good" since about last sunday. Forgot how powerful music can be sober I started with a few old hip hop songs and then switched to a slamming prog and deep house mix. Defiantly had moments of Euphoria. I stopped and just watched the sun set. Having a few cravings here and there but they are over quickly.

Anyways this reminds me of something important: Right after one gets over the physical/heaviest part of withdrawal they will often go on a "sober high" or a "pink cloud". Do not let this fool you into thinking its okay to use. Instead try to channel that energy and positivity into something well... positive! Start eating right, exercise, read, watch tv, listen to music... anything but use.

I don't really like my job 75 percent of the time, but I'm not dreading it like I usually do. Also I am shocked with how light this WD was. I really think the taper and the true commitment made all the difference. Not out of the woods yet, but I'm on my way!
 
Mariposa - think that's a great idea about the reward at the end, I was doing that for a bit when I quit before, every week I stayed off I'd reward myself with something small, just a book or something, but still, it gives you something to look forward to!

Overdone - that's what I ended up doing, dumped some seroquel to knock myself out, so I didn't even have to think. I hate the shit because I'm groggy today, but at least I finally got some proper sleep. How are you going with the exercise? I'm trying to get back into that too, got a 6am run with a friend tomorrow which will be the kickstart!

Monchi - thanks for the support, that's what I'm trying to do now, just go day by day. It's hard, I hate it. I missed work over the weekend because I was too high and now I can't get it out of my head that I need to get some more speed so I can make up work, which makes no sense because I never actually work while I'm on it.
 
I'm so proud of you guys for staying strong. Having a reward for the end of ocsober is a great plan mariposa! When i think about how much i could buy with the money i spend on alcohol i get sad, such a waste.

I haven't been doing so well :( tough week. I'm going to start over.
 
footscrazy said:
How are you going with the exercise? I'm trying to get back into that too, got a 6am run with a friend tomorrow which will be the kickstart!
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Eh, I do my pushups pretty much every day but I only ran a half mile once. I want to go on Chantix to help quit smoking. After that, the master plan is to start a consistent exercise routine.

I think it may be a good idea for me to enter into some sort of martial arts training that holds competitions. I've been somewhat edgy and at times I find myself wanting to get into fights. This isn't okay with me so I am thinking that competitive, organized fighting would be healthier mentally/physically/spiritually.

We'll see. I always make these grand plans to make myself better but never follow through.

I'm glad you made it through the day! Groggy is MUCH better than the regret that comes from a momentary high/temporary setback!

I dig the fact that I'm in the company of such strong people here on BL. (maybe it'll rub off on me!)
 
^^ Martial arts would be cool I reckon, I've been half interested in joining up to this kickboxing place down the street.

Well, I made another day :) I'm glad because I've been thinking about ice almost constantly, and if I'd been able to get the car/had more time before work to get the train, I would have got on, but I didn't, and I even avoided having that drink to calm down, so I'm happy :)
 
made it through another day. yesterday started off ok, went for a run, hung out and read. as the day wore on i could feel myself getting more and more depressed. my solution was to just glue my ass to the couch and ride it through.

one thing i noticed: i kept replaying things ive done while drunk that i now regret. i found it just started eating away at me, getting that pit in my stomach. ugh. :(

anyhow, today is another day, a brand new 24 hrs. to everyone whose struggling, im a firm believer in starting over! =D just figure out today and go from there.

OverDone: im also on champix/ chantix. its wierd the first few days or so but once you get used to it, it really does help. i am on day 4 no cigarettes! it helps too that you really can't drink on it... for me at least.

phactor: do you think 5-htp would be better than melatonin to help mood and sleep?
 
I'm the last time zone to get a start on Monday. How's everyone's week starting? Perhaps those who didn't stay as sober as they had hoped last week will look at today, and after that this week (without thinking too far ahead) as an opportunity to start fresh.

My class that was cancelled Thursday meets TODAY (argh) and I didn't know till 5 minutes ago. Time to hustle!
 
monchi said:
phactor: do you think 5-htp would be better than melatonin to help mood and sleep?
Click to expand...

5-htp can help with sleep but not as much as Melatonin. Also try L-Trytophan. Keep in mind Melatonin loses effectiveness if you use it often.

Again, I would suggest trying a OTC PM med with Dipenhydramine. But if you are really opposed to that then try to get some Valerian Tea or Pills.

Anyways Day 4 is going really well for me. I'm planning on rewarding myself by buying a nice sweater (I am a clothes/brand whore lol). I'm putting the old exercise bag in the car. I may wait one more day and just do a walk and then pushups and pullups again but we will see.

Looking forward to seeing how much quicker I gain without the alcohol and proper rest.

Also plan to quit all forms of smoking on Friday. I'm probably going to run out of herb tonight or tommorrow which isn't a big deal for me. I will switch over to the nicotine gum either on Friday or Monday.
 
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