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OC - 40mg habit vs 200mg addiction?

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DarkFlame

Bluelighter
Joined
Mar 10, 2006
Messages
71
I guess the purpose of this thread is more of a self evaluation of where I am at and would like to gather opinions of the severity of my problem/addiction. I know its long, but please bare with me and read through.


I am a 23 year old male, successful, hold a job working 50 hours a week, graduated from one of the best schools in the country and am taking courses towards my masters I will be starting in a couple of years. I have plenty of friends and family, got out of a long term (3.5 yrs) relationship about 8 months ago and am enjoying being single and dating around.

I started using at 18.

I began slowly, once a week for many years, never snorting the drug ( I still haven't until this day) often taking multiple week breaks and not thinking anything of it. Started at 10mg of percocet, then 15 then 20. When I got to 30mg I vowed to never increase that dose. I just turned 23 and and about 2 weeks ago I took 40-45 mg of instant release oral every night for the last 23 days out of 30 days of last month. I woke up hating myself every morning, not with physical withdrawals or anything but as the day goes by I found a way to justify taking my dose that night. I've even given up hanging with friends, exercising, doing productive activities, even sex with girls I'm seeing just to smoke a bowl, parachute a 40 and chill out. I still got high but started seeing it lose its magic. So I chilled, in the past two weeks I dropped my one time doses to 7 times in 2 weeks, usually going on 3 nights on then 3 nights off. Now I havent taken any in 6 days and really am at a turning point.

What do you guys think? How deep am I? How different am I really than the people I know that take 100-200mg a day? What steps should I take? I only use oc and bud regularly (I dont even enjoy pills without it). Does the via of administration really make all the difference? Do I have to quit weed too? Will I ever stop thinking about the drug? I feel that it has def messed with my mood and libidio. Will I ever be back to before I started using regularly?

Thanks for any input, it is greatly appreciated.
 
if you have not taken in 6 days and are still able to function and hold your job etc. then you can make it clean. Most of the addiction now is a psychological one, and that possibly is the hardest to break through.

route of administration can add to the addiction because of the ritual of going through setting up a rig, finding a vein and preparing a shot etc. different routes of administration also affect how much of the substance is available which can in turn allow an increased dose with the same raw amount of substance.

in time you can leave this habit in the past. continue to build coping mechanisms to turn to when you would have turned to drug use. you can always rebuild your life if you want to. it will take time and effort and will power

be glad that you picked up on this habit at 40mg instead of 200mg, i feel as the tolerance increases, the amount of effort required to climb back out grows exponentially.
 
Make sure you stick to your guns, b/c with opiates its very easy to say "well I made it this far maybe ill reward myself after a couple more weeks or months or whatever" and it starts all over again. Your doing good, keep it up.
 
Just a little update,

I have been taking anywhere from 20-40mg like 3 times a week. I think this is pretty manageable. I even went on a 10 day vacation and only thought about the drug, never real felt anything physical.

I really do believe once you hit the 80mg barrier and start insufflating/shooting/plugging is when opiates really fuck you.

Any opinions?
 
Eating your oc isn't any different from snorting it and really isn't too different from plugging it either.

There isn't a certain dose at which you get fucked and have physical withdrawals. It is a long slippery slope that slowly gets worse and worse until ur really fucked and at that point its pretty damn late and you'll probably need oc to get out of bed in the morning and most certainly to function at school/work.

my opinion? quit while you're ahead.

Good luck to you sir.
 
all that really matters is that you are bothered enough by it to ask for advice/help.

you wont think about the drug everyday, yes your libido will return, and seem stronger then ever, ;)

do you have to quit smoking? why would you? why would you continue? maybe you should take a break, and see how you feel.

back to how you where before, no. well that depends on what you mean, yes time flies bye, valuable time that may feel wasted. chalk this up to experience, you have it in you to go further then you promised or said to yourself you would....

the way i see it, is i was and other people were lucky enough to discover, is thaty we got that out of our systems while we were younger. not in the middle of a carrer, marrige, kids, morgidge, etc.

learn and live on, it doesnt get any better then where you were, its all down hill from there.
 
I can definitely say I got pot and street drugs out of my system when I was younger.

Opiates and benzos on the other hand.. It's like discovering drugs all over again.. but the smooth version. It's like the day you realize you just got bumped into a higher wine bracket, or discovered the difference between a flank steak and a T-bone.. or the difference between cheddar cheese and gouda.

It's like drugs for adults..


P.S. - This is not advice.. just an observation.
 
From your post, it sounds as if we are in somewhat similar situations. I am holding together everything else in my life very well and am looking forward to great success, but my use of opiates (I'm actually not particularly fond of most other sorts of drugs) has, as of late, at times been much greater than I would like for it to be, and I am aware that it has become/ is becoming a problem. Regardless of route of administration, tolerance to opiates, which gradually is joined by dependence, will happen. Though I know that it will not be incredibly painful or debilitating for me to stop entirely, which I intend to do imminently/as soon as possible, I also recognize that it is not going to be entirely comfortable or pleasant at times. I see that, given time, things of this nature only get worse. Stop now while you are able, as I will hopefully do. I wish you the best of luck with everything.

What I'm trying to say all in, I suppose, is that you absolutely must stop now, and not make excuses to yourself, or else you will find yourself using hundreds of milligrams a day, or using things like hydromorphone/H and perhaps moving on to other routes of administration due to cost/potency issues, as I've seen happen so many times. I would hate to see it happen again. I don't mean to preach, and you certainly know yourself better than any of us could possible hope to, but I strongly suggest that you quit while you're ahead, and while you are able to do so without suffering too greatly.

Edit: The positive thing about opiates when compared to benzodiazepines or alcohol or ghb, however, is that you can just about completely return to normal fairly quickly (a week or so, though you may experience some psychological longing and occasional related depression for a few months at times, but don't worry too much about that) provided that you do stop using them, and will notice improvement to the problems that you've mentioned related to your use almost immediately.

As far as the weed goes, that's really up to you. I know many people that are able to maintain successful, full lives while fairly regularly smoking pot, but some people aren't, and you're the only one who can answer this for yourself.
 
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Let's just stick with the scenario of you staying with like 40-60mg of OC, and lets say you stay at that dose but start doing it everyday (this is coming up for you) for like 6 months. Even at that low level for that little period of time- you will experience some really unpleasant shit when you try to come off. Sleepless nights, restless hands and legs, depression- it sucks. If you keep upping your dose- that's just gonna get worse and you'll get really sick when you have to stop (inevitably).

If you feel you have to do a drug- just stick with pot. It won't reek havoc on your life like opiates can.
 
Look at what has happened so far. 20 mg used to satify you, now you need 40. Assuming the same pattern of usage, very soon 40 will leave you cold while 80 will do the trick. Regular use turns to every day use, everyday use turns to using higher doses. As stuckinaloop so succinctly put it, there is no escape. You're not one of the very few people who only use on very rare occassions. You use regularly, so your only options are to keep digging deeper or to stop completely. It's one or the other I'm afraid.
 
ranunky said:
Look at what has happened so far. 20 mg used to satify you, now you need 40. Assuming the same pattern of usage, very soon 40 will leave you cold while 80 will do the trick. Regular use turns to every day use, everyday use turns to using higher doses. As stuckinaloop so succinctly put it, there is no escape. You're not one of the very few people who only use on very rare occassions. You use regularly, so your only options are to keep digging deeper or to stop completely. It's one or the other I'm afraid.
Click to expand...

I agree..you may think your "special" or "different" or that you have more will power than anyone in the world, but addiction don't give a fuck what you think.
 
the only difference between you and someone using 200mgs is time....youll get there sooner than you think.
 
Sounds like you're still in a spot where you could get perfectly clean if you wanted to. The fact that you can go w/o using for more than a few days a week says something (something powerful). Seriously, stop now while you can. Or, why not cut down to once a week ? It'll get heavy fast (use) and things will get fucked up even quicker. I can't go one day without, almost not a couple hours without using. --It's horrible.
 
Yeah, i used to be exactly where you are now. Before you even realize it 3 days on 3 days off will become everyday, and one dose at night will be come 24 hours a day. Opiates drain my bank accounts and i don't even get high anymore, i need them to function and now that i have some for pain they barely help because of my foolish recreational use in the past which allowed me to gain such a tolerance. Your job, your relationships, everything that you value will fall apart if you continue down this road. This is not what you want for your life.
 
stuckinaloop said:
sorry man this probably isnt what you wanna hear

but youw ill get addicted/are addicted using a few times a week

there is no escape

opiates are hell, it will only get worse
Click to expand...


Completely right, it only a matter of time. When you're taking something for pleasure, it will become a habit.
 
Cyc said:
I can definitely say I got pot and street drugs out of my system when I was younger.

Opiates and benzos on the other hand.. It's like discovering drugs all over again.. but the smooth version. It's like the day you realize you just got bumped into a higher wine bracket, or discovered the difference between a flank steak and a T-bone.. or the difference between cheddar cheese and gouda.

It's like drugs for adults..


P.S. - This is not advice.. just an observation.
Click to expand...


Lol I am confused which is better cheddar or gouda? I think you havnt had the real chedda, man!!
 
In my opinion, chemically speaking, you aren't in too deep yet. However, behaviourally/psychologically, you aren't doing the best. I was just like you. I held a habit just like yours (similar doses and everything). I held that for like, 4 - 5 years. Rarely any problems. But my mind state started to get bad. I was justifying, etc. You start to prefer to be on OC instead of going out. Then you realize this, and stop for a bit and go out while not on it. It's not as fun, so you start using OC while you go out. Tolerance increases, you use more often, etc etc.

I went from a habit like yours, to being on OC all the time. through university classes, around family, etc. that 20 - 40mg dose went up to 160mg/day. I'd go like that for a month, go through withdrawals, then repeat. I did that for a year.

I've reduced my use completely now. A year later. Almost 2 months and I've only used 40mg.

Also, part of my problem was my friend constantly spotting me pills. Also someone in my family sold them too - so I was constantly around it...constantly.

Sorry I kinda rambled. Just be warned. Just because thing have been good for a few years doesn't mean you can't slip.
 
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