Like usual I ended up doing something stupid with one of my best friends (only have two best friends total). Anyways we were at my house listening to music and as usual we were like we wish we were high. We had xanax, alcohol and roxicodone but didn't touch them... Well it ends up we start drink and then tell my mother we're going on a walk and we would be back soon. She asked me if it was a short walk and I said it would be. This was around 7:30pm on Sunday night... We ended up walking a few blocks from my house to call my friend's mother to bring us to the walmart area... Her mom ended up coming to get us. She then dropped us off and left. So then my friend and I continue to drink and go then go to wendy's (fast food place if you're out of the us not sure if you have them anywhere else lol)... At the fast food place we end up buying one small drink only so we can go and sit down. Then that leads us to pouring alcohol in the cup while taking some xanax. We chill there for a little and then are off to somewhere else.
My phone starts blowing up at around 8 something and my mom I asking when ill be back home and that she was cooking a good meal. She then questioned where we were and I told her my friends mom drove us to wendy's, she then didn't believe that and asked again. I told her the same thing (we weren't really there). My mom then leaves me alone only then to blow my phone up again but luckily it died. Haha, no more hearing her anymore... So my friend and I are walking down this long road in the city while we listen to music and talk about life. Its probably close to 9pm at this point and we have no plans of going back to my place. We are getting pretty out of it.... This street is going on forever... I then realize I'm not going home anytime soon.
I ended up walking around the city with my friend and in bad areas... We were even bothered by older men at many points. It was 11pm at night by this point and I finally contacted my mom using my friends cell. I told her we were walking around and I would be home soon (yeah I said that the first time too)... Let's just say she was pissed and didn't think it was safe for two girls to be walking by themselves at this hour. The thing is she was pretty much right. Well, my friend and I just said YOLO to each other...you only live once (suicide silence fuck drake!) And we continued on walking. We ended up in this city park and sat on the benches in a bad area. There we talked about life and what not while holding one another... As usual we just said how much we loved one another and were the greatest friends ever even though we were fucked up once again. I finally came to the conclusion that my mom must think I'm a drug addict or something and if she doesn't then she must be blind... My friend laughed and that's when her phone finally rang at midnight. It was her mother telling her she had to go to bed for work so she wanted to pick her up. We then were like oh fuck and had to run back to my place....
Wow we were so fucked up. Well we made it to my place which was blocks away but luckily we made it back right when her mom pulled in. I gave her a hug bye and told her I would see her sometime this week. However when I came home my mom gave me this look as if she wasn't sure I was drunk or high. Then she later blamed it on energy drinks (LOL denial). I did feel bad though because I ended up going out to get high rather than stay home with her. Our shows were on and she even cooked for once. Instead she had a plate for me left cold on the stove as she tells me it came out perfect but of course I'm the worst daughter ever and basically tell my mom off... Do whatever without a care... Anyways later that night I came to talk to her about non-sense because I was still high and didn't want to be alone. I told her I loved her and she said she loved me and smiled. That smile on her face made me sad because I know she really does love me but I'm so selfish at times... Why must I be this way?
And as I write this I know my friend is coming over again today. We will tell ourselves we won't get high but of course we will. My mom will then be upset once again because I made plans with her but am breaking them yet again... I will then leave home as usual and get high. Do stupid things and then when I'm coming down I will think of how much of a fuck up I am; how much I rather be dead than alive but why wish because clearly I already am. Yet, why must I still have to walk this earth and live this lie when I'm dead inside.
My phone starts blowing up at around 8 something and my mom I asking when ill be back home and that she was cooking a good meal. She then questioned where we were and I told her my friends mom drove us to wendy's, she then didn't believe that and asked again. I told her the same thing (we weren't really there). My mom then leaves me alone only then to blow my phone up again but luckily it died. Haha, no more hearing her anymore... So my friend and I are walking down this long road in the city while we listen to music and talk about life. Its probably close to 9pm at this point and we have no plans of going back to my place. We are getting pretty out of it.... This street is going on forever... I then realize I'm not going home anytime soon.
I ended up walking around the city with my friend and in bad areas... We were even bothered by older men at many points. It was 11pm at night by this point and I finally contacted my mom using my friends cell. I told her we were walking around and I would be home soon (yeah I said that the first time too)... Let's just say she was pissed and didn't think it was safe for two girls to be walking by themselves at this hour. The thing is she was pretty much right. Well, my friend and I just said YOLO to each other...you only live once (suicide silence fuck drake!) And we continued on walking. We ended up in this city park and sat on the benches in a bad area. There we talked about life and what not while holding one another... As usual we just said how much we loved one another and were the greatest friends ever even though we were fucked up once again. I finally came to the conclusion that my mom must think I'm a drug addict or something and if she doesn't then she must be blind... My friend laughed and that's when her phone finally rang at midnight. It was her mother telling her she had to go to bed for work so she wanted to pick her up. We then were like oh fuck and had to run back to my place....
Wow we were so fucked up. Well we made it to my place which was blocks away but luckily we made it back right when her mom pulled in. I gave her a hug bye and told her I would see her sometime this week. However when I came home my mom gave me this look as if she wasn't sure I was drunk or high. Then she later blamed it on energy drinks (LOL denial). I did feel bad though because I ended up going out to get high rather than stay home with her. Our shows were on and she even cooked for once. Instead she had a plate for me left cold on the stove as she tells me it came out perfect but of course I'm the worst daughter ever and basically tell my mom off... Do whatever without a care... Anyways later that night I came to talk to her about non-sense because I was still high and didn't want to be alone. I told her I loved her and she said she loved me and smiled. That smile on her face made me sad because I know she really does love me but I'm so selfish at times... Why must I be this way?
And as I write this I know my friend is coming over again today. We will tell ourselves we won't get high but of course we will. My mom will then be upset once again because I made plans with her but am breaking them yet again... I will then leave home as usual and get high. Do stupid things and then when I'm coming down I will think of how much of a fuck up I am; how much I rather be dead than alive but why wish because clearly I already am. Yet, why must I still have to walk this earth and live this lie when I'm dead inside.
