Mental Health Not sure what to do...

[Brutal BMW Driver]

Hi,

I have been mega depressed for the last 3 years. Im 29 now, im not really a drug user, but when i was about 23 me and my friends went through a pill phase where we dropped x every weekend, 2-3 pills for like 1.5 years, then we just stopped entirely and I havnt had any since, just the odd toke of a joint these days, anyway since about then ive been quite depressed with it getting really bad over the last 3 years. I was on lexapro for a few years then i just quit one day and felt great for about a year, but then got depressed again, now im on 375mg of effexor, and i feel it has helped a bit with my social anxiety, but i still feel brutally depressed all the time, that knot of depression deep in your stomach. Just recently I started smoking bud, a few small pipes a few times a week, and dropping vallium and codeine/paracetamol pills every day and it is the only time im not depressed. I dont know if i should quit the effexor, and also whether I should take more drugs just so at least im not depressed all the time.

I know it is a stupid question but if i could get a grain of help its worth giving it a shot.

Thanks

 

[a dream]

Can you describe your depression symptoms in more detail? There might be other pharmaceuticals out there worth trying. Lexapro and Effexor are both serotonin reuptake inhibitors (Effexor inhibits norepinephrine uptake too); other classes of antidepressants might help, either in addition to or in lieu of what you're already taking.

Self-medicating can end poorly. Weed isn't the worst thing you can do, and can be great if it works well and you don't abuse it, but heavy benzo and opioid use can turn nasty pretty easily.

Are you seeing an actual psychiatrist, or just a regular doctor who is prescribing the antidepressants? Either way I assume medical conditions like thyroid issues and sleep apnea have been ruled out.

And of course lifestyle changes are some of the best ways to deal with depression. You've probably heard that before, though. The obvious ones: exercise daily, eat right, sleep right. I get told that all the time and I do none of them. If you were happy when you were doing drugs regularly five years ago, did anything else change BESIDES your drug usage in your life that could have made you feel worse? For example, did you go from being in school and having a great time with friends to working every day in a job you hate? Or something like that.

 

[Brutal BMW Driver]

Yeah, I work full time at a job i hate but i make mad money in a boring office. Whenever im not at work IE just chilling at home I get brutally depressed. It is a pro psychiatrist that prescribes the anti depressants.

When I was doing drugs I was at uni, and just finished and got a pro accounting job (which i ended up hating and leaving), then unemployed for a bit and for the last few years i got another boring but well paid job that i hate. Even though when I am at work I am probably happier than when im not.

 

[a dream]

I was less depressed back when I didn't like my job and didn't like the city I lived in... because I was looking forward to moving somewhere nicer and having a more tolerable job. Somehow, the anticipation of things getting better made up for the general emptiness in my life (outside of work).

Now I have a nicer apartment with better furniture, more stuff, in a location with nicer weather, and a nice cushy job. But none of that actually makes me happier. Just more comfortable. It makes it even easier to retreat into isolation.

For new drugs, you could talk to your pdoc about something stimulating like Wellbutrin (NDRI) which is indicated as an antidepressant - it helped me a bit with motivation, both at work and at home. After I started it, I was more interested in trying new experiences and getting out. And being able to do things again gave me somewhat of a mood boost; not a whole lot, but certainly enough to push through with how bad I was feeling and keep going to work. It's commonly prescribed in additional to SSRIs to enhance antidepressant response and counteract some of the side effects. However, I'm not sure how good it is to take an NDRI like Wellbutrin with an SNRI like Effexor - something you may want to research if you decide to consider Wellbutrin.