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Not sure what to do with myself.

I

illusiondelusion3

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 26, 2010
Messages
52
I dropped out of college this past year. It was my second year. I'm 20.
I was dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety. Surprisingly enough, at the end of August, I got lucky and found a new job that paid more than my previous one.

Well, this job is soooo boring, typical office job . I'm about ready to hang myself by the time 4pm comes.:!
I dread going to work in the morning and its the type of job where there's no room for growth. Its a very small place (3 people including me) and they've been there for 6+ years.

I just hate going to work and feeling like I get nothing done.:|
I just don't know what I want to do because I am fortunate enough to have a decent paying job currently, but is it worth it if I hate it? It's also hard enough to find a new job as it is.

Then there's the option of going back to school, but I don't know what I'd want to pursue that I'd be dedicated to for 3+ yrs.
Has anybody been in the position before? What'd you do?
 
You sound like me when I was 20. I finished my degree, but it was useless job-wise (so I may as well have dropped out!) and I ended up somewhere that paid me fairly well, given I had no real qualifications, but was soul-destroyingly awful. I didn't realise it at the time, but looking back it made me even more depressed - I couldn't shake the thought that this was where I was going to be for the rest of my life.

In the end I went backpacking for 3 months, which gave me some time to think about what I wanted to do. I decided to go back to uni, which was the best decision I could have made - funnily enough I didn't have anything I was particularly passionate about, so it still took me a while to figure out where I was headed, but it gave me some structure and something to be motivated about.

Going back to school might not be the best option for you - I've always liked studying, so I got into it despite not knowing what I wanted to pursue - but I can thoroughly recommend travelling. :) Either way, try not to get stuck in a job you hate. Despite going back to uni, I ended sticking with my shitty job for another 7 years, which I regret.
 
i have been in that position before. i got a good job (for being 18) as an intern, looked good on resume etc. quit it within 3 months because it's soul-sucking and started playing poker for monies.

office jobs just aren't designed to lead to happiness imo.

imo you can either do what everyone else does -- education, go in debt, graduate and work for someone else -- or blaze your own path: be an entrepreneur, or enter some vocational program and graduate it with real job skills and a good $/hr.

my 2 cents.
 
Ever think about doing school part time? After school or something? Or even just taking a couple night courses to see what you're actually interested in.
 
life

i dont think you should be happy angry or confused about all of this. Taking acid and trying to understand it is about as easy as knowing what to do in your life. You want to make good money but you want to have fun, you want responsibilities but you want to have fun the KEY is BALANCE. Imo the ballance should be distributed between
- What are you passionate about
- what are you good at (not what you want others to think your good at
- What is accessible to you (are the courses available? can you afford to study without working so orqanisation!!)
- Do you want to control a team or be a valuable wingman?
MOST OF ALLLLL if you do something you want toyou will seek to learn more because its a passion. Anyone with experience can open there own buiseness and progress further in a career. A cleaner can run a team and a ceo can fuck everything up its all about what you want dont worry about everyone else if they say they have it all good then there probably bored and lieing. so to leave on a note just do what u love to and thee hard work and success will follow
 
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