Not sure how to handle this

[theseeker]

I've basically been taking ultram daily for the past year and a half. I get the ultram from some online places. I never took a ridiculous amount and for the past three months got my usage down to ~200mg/ day- taking like 1.5 in the AM and then 2.5 at night. It's a pretty small habit but it really became ingrained in my life. You'll have to take my word that 100mg of ultram actually gets me pretty high- even after a year of taking it. I'd probably take more but if I take more than like 2.5 pills, I get really panicky.

Got sick a few days ago and the doc gave me codeine cough syrup. It's generally not a good idea to mix codeine and ultram so I stopped with the ultram. The result- feeling some withdrawals and some pretty bad depression (Codeine doesn't get me high).

For reasons I can't explain- I realize it's time to stop taking ultram and opiates in general. This can't go on. Sooner or later- and this is inevitable- my supply is going to be interrupted somehow. It's going to happen. I can either deal with this now at a time of my choosing or sometime down the line under circumstances possibly not under my control.

I obviously have a way smaller drug habit than many people on BL- laughingly small probably. Nevertheless, after over a year of taking this shit I'm in for some pretty serious depression (a problem even without opiate withdrawal) and some other bullshit as well. Realistically, It'll probably take a month for me to feel better.

My dilemma- I just moved across the US to a new job and I'm going to be a slightly different person for the immediate future. Maybe I should go get some professional help- but who can help? I'm certainly not a suboxone candidate.

 

[Mugz]

NA could be an option, they wont judge based on the relative size of the problem, and you might meet some people that can help you with some other coping strategies.

Can you afford any directed counselling or have insurance that would cover that? There are drugs counsellors and psychologists most places, or charities that deal with these sorts of issues.

A doctor may start prescribing the medication to you rather than you getting it illicitly if you explain the situation, but that is no guarantee.

Hope that you can find a way to get the help that you want/need.

 

[Missykins]

It's not the drug that you take or the amount that you take, but the relationship that you have with the drug that defines addiction.

I wouldn't rule out Suboxone, but, in my opinion which is based on experience, Suboxone does not work in a vacuum. NA is what really made a
difference for me. I would encourage you to attend, and to keep an open mind.

www.na.org for a meeting in your town

 

[DayLights]

First up if anyone is laughing ..they must have a retardation ..second don t let anyone kid u..jts gonna such
Fist four day are shiitty..but I will get better every day after..about.2 weeks u wontt have pain bit ur anxiety and depression with be there...the pain is easy man compared the angst and restlessness ..fuck subox,,,id rather cold Turkey off heroin..I'm serious ...get some ass Med amodium...OJ ..multi vitamin.. vit. B coomplex ..and some Robitussin tab...the one with only dxm..eat and drink alot..even if u can't force ittake a dxm pill ever for hours...it helps..gooogle it..and keep ur self around loving people..cause some times u dget sad over nothing so a hug helps...ohhhhh hot baths..its may help for a hour..but shit a hours a hour..m.just sack up bro.ur allll good..and if u feel alone...I'm here

 

[theseeker]

Thanks for all the replies thusfar.

@Mugz- for once in my life I have both funds an insurance to get the help I'm thinking I need

@Missykins- I think I'll try to see a psychiatrist next week, one that can prescribe suboxone. I would want a prescription for subs as a last resort. Maybe the doc can help me in ways that don't include sub, such as tapering or w/d symptom management, etc.

@ Daylights- thanks for the input

I guess I feel like this problem isn't going away and I probably need professional help of some sort.

 

[herbavore]

I think it is a great idea to seek professional help since you have the means. You are going to have the stress of a new job and the isolation of "being" new for a while. Those are two stresses that can exacerbate the drug problem. Make sure that the person you see is one that you can trust so that you really get something out of it. A group like N/A could be a support and a way of meeting people in a new area of the country. Good luck!

 

[painenduser]

Theseeker, I am no pro on opiate detoxing, but let me first say that admitting you have a problem with opiates is a great first step and I don't mean that from a 12 step program point of view as I personally don't find 12 step programs useful, but that is just me, in no way am I knocking any 12 step programs because they do help millions of people every year and as missykins said it sounds like your addiction is more of a mental addiction, the relationship you have with your drug,

Secondly, no addiction is laughable, everyone's addiction is their addiction and someone who take much more then you could have a worse time beating the habit, or someone who takes less could have a worse time, and vise versa, so please don't think that you addiction is laughable to anyone elses on here BL because addiction is addiction regardless of the amount of drug taken and how strong the physiological addiction is. One thing you may want to try while you still have supply is do not stop taking the ultram cold turkey, even with the codine. Codine metabolizes to morphine in the body much like many other optiate, though I am not sure about ultram. I would recommend doing some research on a taper program for ultram and see if you can find online what it recommended for an appropriate taper for the dosage your taking of the ultram. Although if you have already been off of them for a few days then you are probably over the worst of it, now it's the physiological aspect you need to work through and that's where as 12 step program like NA maybe of some help for you.

The suggestions Daylights was suggesting are excellent for quitting opiates cold turkey BUT would also help even if you are in a taper. The things he was suggesting are good to take as they help your body reverse some if the physical effects that right now the opiate are hiding from you, trust me I know. I was on a very heavy dose of narcotic medication from my pain mgt Dr and at one point and he put me on a very fast detox taper, with out the OJ, benadryl, ibuprofin and some other OTC meds and vitamins and it really helped the physical withdraw go much smoother. You just have to make the decision as to what you want to do, and follow through. You could also look into going into a rehab program.. As far as Saboxne, Now again this isn't something I am very familiar with but some people swear by while others say it's usless, I couldn't tell you. Either way, I hope find something helps you out soon and remember not to compare your addiction to anyone else's, addiction is a very individual thing. Best of luck!