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TDS Not so great update

BabyGurl3171

BabyGurl3171

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Joined
May 25, 2010
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In my mind. The choices are many, the consequences
Sorry for a repost but I think my update was lost...

So...not a great update.

The new psych obviously has issues himself bc when I took my kids he was completely diff. He was a straight jerk. Found out thru the kids' counselor that he's already been reported several times. Just my damn luck. He fucked my kids meds all up. My oldest is autistic n we just got her straightened out. Wtf?! I'm prayin she doesn't start flippin out n havin episodes again...

I, like an idiot, ate all my kpins so no benzos. Altho I got myself thru a bad attack on the road with no meds Gonna pick some up from a friend on Mon tho.

Like a complete moron, I gave idiot another go n he fucked it all up so I broke it off again n he's leavin state tonight. Got mixed feelings on that...

All around not sure what I'm feelin. Numb n empty kinda fits it atm.

My counselor wants me to write 5 things I'm grateful for everyday. I wanted to write thankful I didn't kill anyone...haha. They gotta b all diff.

So, yeah. Not such a great feelin anymore. I must b in that low...

But on another topic, my fiancee of 5 yrs is getting out of prison on Mon. I haven't seen him in 10 mons. Mixed feelings there too bc I don't wanna "rebound" with him. But what if this recent ex was the "rebound" bc my fiancee got taken away without warnin n I was lonely?

Got a lot to work out.

Just felt like a relapse was in order to try to sort out life. I kno it sounds stupid but on the combo of benzos and opiates I can slow my brain enough to really consider what I want/need at this point in life...
 
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I'm glad you didn't stay with him too long. Wasn't that the guy who cut off your phone a while back? Trouble is, when faced with a difficult decision using drugs is an easy solution. I used to do that a lot, drugs here and there but mostly drinking.

So without even realizing, I wasn't dealing with my problems the way I should have. Being sober was terrifying and instead of taking care of shit, I did nothing with hopes things would get better. So I would numb myself with alcohol the same way you used up all your meds.

My advice would be to stay away from men for a while. Focus on yourself and your kids and don't go crazy with the pills. You have a lot to think about and it's not easy to do when you're under the influence. You have lots of support here, and you can pm me anytime. <3
 
Yeah, same idiot. I got the phone in my name but it's sad I had to do that with someone who supposedly loved me. Ha!

He's back in his home state feelin all butt hurt. Heh. He text me he wants to b my friend. I'm thinkin who would need an enemy with u as a friend! Not to mention he is never friends with any exes so that makes me suspicious. I do believe I'll pass on that offer.

Yeah, I have often used drugs to escape reality n I'm doin it again. Sucks when u wake up sober n the shit is still there.

I just deleted his texts today. I really didn't want to but I knew re-readin them was only gonna hurt me more than anything. I also denied his request to add me on fb. That's some hurt waitin to happen. N I kno how vengeful he is. I'd b seein him postin bout bitches left n right, even if they didn't exist. These 2 steps made me feel a lil stronger.

Yeah, I'm gonna tell the guy comin home tmrw I need time. If he can't respect that then eff him too. I'm at the pissed off stage n don't gaf what any man in my life has to say atm.

Thanks for ur reply :)
 
So your psych doctor also treats your daughter? I wonder why his attitude seemed shittier. If she gets a bad reaction to her new meds, definitely switch doctors, maybe one that specializes in pediatric psychiatry. That would scare me if a counselor told me that this guy has been reported by other patients.
 
T. Calderone said:
So your psych doctor also treats your daughter? I wonder why his attitude seemed shittier. If she gets a bad reaction to her new meds, definitely switch doctors, maybe one that specializes in pediatric psychiatry. That would scare me if a counselor told me that this guy has been reported by other patients.
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Yes, originally they were for children only. Recently they started takin adults. I love the counselors (mine & kids) but I have a feeling this dr won't b there much longer.

He is the one who seems bipolar imo hehe.

I guess I'll find out what's gonna happen when I go back on the 12th.
 
Fiancee has been home 3 days n everything is goin great!! I'm givin him a chance to prove he's changed.

Otoh, ex came back from VA & is stalking me again. Ugh. He keeps sending msgs how much he loves n misses me n wants me bk. Yeah, shoulda thought bout that durin the flippin 8 mos I gave him chance after chance. He hasn't changed bc he still is sayin I forgive u & as long as u change I'll b with u. Big headed mofo!

Kids r happy as all get out that daddy is home too! :)
 
you should reread over your previous posts, having a likely unstable male back in your home is a big risk to take. You really want to focus on improving and strengthening yourself rather than going from boyfriend to boyfriend. Kids aren't too appreciative of men coming in and out of their lives either, it's definitely hard for them.

even if your doc is bipolar it doesn't mean he can't help, if anything a bipolar doctor is more than willing to help because they know the suffering and pain a person can deal with. As far as complaints against him i wouldn't put too much thought into that, either he can help you or not. sometimes a Dr is going to tell you things you don't want to hear.

People don't change, not easily anyway. Sorry to be a bummer, but keep an eye out. People often get trapped in these cycles over and over again without realizing it. Just take a step back and analyze what's going on.
 
Thanks hun for ur honesty.

He has been doin his lazy shyt but isn't drinkin. I told him if he's not gonna help around the house n b motivated in life he will become just a roommate.

I'm done playin with lil boys, and this one is 43! wtf?!

I'm younger than him but I kno I'm an adult n have responsibilites! I need someone with the same life goals - be something!
 
crimsonjunk said:
No offense op but the guy wasnt in prison for having positive life goals. Sounds like you can do better.
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Yeah but he was in prison for me technically. We sold once n got busted. He took the fall so I didn't lose kids...

His 1 & only charge. Mine too but I got probation.

He's doin good so far. Paid all the bills, not drinkin. He did smoke some bud but I really have no problem with that.

We shall see I suppose.
 
Was he in county jail or state prison? I ask because his P.O. will likely make him take a piss test.
If the latter is the case, he shouldn't smoke weed. Not trying to nitpick, don't want him to have more trouble!
 
Here's one for your gratitude list:

Be grateful you don't have his name tattooed on you. ;)
 
T. Calderone said:
Was he in county jail or state prison? I ask because his P.O. will likely make him take a piss test.
If the latter is the case, he shouldn't smoke weed. Not trying to nitpick, don't want him to have more trouble!
Click to expand...

State prison. He came out free n clear of probation. He took the extra month in prison vs 3 yrs probation. I would've too lol.

Cadamec said:
Here's one for your gratitude list:

Be grateful you don't have his name tattooed on you. ;)
Click to expand...

Bahaha right!
 
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