not doing so good lately

[twistedhunter]

well ive been stuck in my head lately and feel like i need to vent. im 22 and have been trying to quit drugs for a couple years where ill get sober and then binge and the cycle begins. gone to boarding schools and jail and rehab over my drug use. i was raised in a very wealthy home and got whatever the hell i wanted , but felt like a looser to my parents. they disaproved of drugs so would send me to boarding schools and rehab to help me get better and to not have to deal with me which i take personally. well lately, im just feeling down. ive been sober 3 months after getting out of control with xanax. and in these 3 months of sobreity, ive payed off probation and got off early "thankgod", got a cool sober gf, saved up $3000 for a car because my parents sold my car to teach me a lesson, ive kept a job as a waiter for like 8 months which is longest ive ever kept a job. so with all that u would think id be happy. but i have no friends and am lonely as shit. like tonight i had night off, saturday, and i have no one to hang out with. i just feel a lot of regret in that i should be finishing college this year like other people, but i kept fucking off in college and doing drugs so im a freshmen still and will be going back next semester. so i feel stupid how im far behind in life and that drugs hinder me and i need to stop, but im lonely and just work and hang with gf, go to meetings and bored. so i automatically think why not get fucked up. im scared ill say fuck it soon. i just feel stuck in life and question what the fuck im doing with my life. so ya i could go into more but it will be just be to long. would appreciate some advise on staying postive and how to make the best of my current position and maybe how to improve my quality of life.

 

[Mysterie]

is there anything you used to like doing that could fill your time alone? like writing, playing an instrument, drawing etc
have you got any goals which you can work towards achieving? (e.g. getting fit or something)
have you got any interests which you can pursue in your down time in a group setting (e.g. sports club / martial arts or something)
does your gf have any friends?
did you used to have friends that you can still ask to hang out with?

learning how to be at peace with yourself is a worthwhile goal to achieve, things like meditation and letting go of distractions such as tv/movies/internet would help

don't worry about other people your age finishing university or w/e, society measures success by how much money you have, what car you drive, how big your house is, how much your job pays etc, but that doesn't = happiness, real success is being able to live life happily.

 

[Maya]

^mysterie summed it all up perfectly. Find the hobbies that you would be enjoying and nevermind what society thinks. You are still young and have a life ahead if you. You can always finish college at any age. In fact, there are a lot of people nowadays who will go back to school to study or finish a degree at a later age.

 

[twistedhunter]

i had lots of friends back home but i moved away to get away from wrong crowd. used to longbaord a lot but dont have a baord anymore. thinkig about buying a piano cause ive always wanted to learn. my goal is going to college and actually doing well.

 

[baggerr]

there is a site called meetup.com and there are literally thousands of different interest groups, from hiking to knitting, movies to surfing . Many social happy ones too. Many are age ranged, others are open. It is very cool because all the people that go are in the mind set that they are here to meet others so you dont get shunned because you're knew, they actually make you feel welcome. It is not a dating site, but there are groups with that topic. It is free. Find groups with things you like to do, but also join a few social ones, you usually meet at some bar and there will be 20 to 60 people there from the group.