NoBENDER - let's keep it going!

good choice. my bladder was fucked up for while from k. you'll do well though my friend. remember addiction makes you a slave and do you wanna be a slave? hell no!

Cheers. I'm pretty lucky in the way that I've not experienced any awful side effects just yet. I did have a dull ache in my abdomen for about a week nearly a year ago, and going to the cinema can get me quite anxious, especially without an aisle seat. Fortunately no blood in the urine or any of the horrendous cramps people mention. Although that week of aching was pretty nasty. It's good to quit while you're ahead. The thing with K is that it should be treated like a psychedelic and used with respect, like LSD or Shrooms. But it bridges the gap between habit-forming substances and psychedelics pretty quickly (soon you're doing half gram lines when before a gram would last you a couple of weeks, shared with friends). Which is asking for trouble. Such a compulsive substance. I find it near impossible to have some around and not do it. I was planning on stocking up for the Christmas period now, but I just know I'll do it all before the time comes. Even if I were to buy an ounce. As much as that is a depressingly true admission, my general of opinion of the stuff has definitely changed. I no longer see it in the same light of 2-3 years ago. I know it's evil and can accept that it's doing me no good, which is undeniably the first step to conquering this addiction.

Easier said than done, though...
 
Congrats on your taper heather! things will get better dear. im cheering for ya. hope everyone is doing well. I went to an NA meeting tonight and 8 people celebrated clean time: 21 yrs, 5yrs, 2yrs, 18 months, 9months, 6months, and 2x 60days. it was incredible. :D
 
Thank you!

Hope everyone is well.

And wow, 21 years is such a long time! The others are of course great also (any clean time is!) but 21 years stuck out to me, possibly because its my age. I hope I can be that strong one day.
 
^You can and not only that but I have every faith that you will.<3

One of the things that I did not inherit from my incredible mom was her optimism; but I have been trying to cultivate it in myself because I can certainly see the value in it. When she was told that she had a very virulent form of breast cancer and her odds were 20/80 (20=survival/80=death) and I sat there crying thinking, "my mom is going to die", she said: "well, someone has to be in that 20% and I don't see why it shouldn't be me. Why would I assume that I would be in the other 80%?" She beat the cancer and beat the odds and I will always feel that it was in part her optimistic attitude. Even if her attitude had nothing to do with it, it made her treatments etc much easier to bear. I can see a lot of parallels with addiction. Having faith in your own abilities is crucial.Fatalism can be a killer.
 
Well, with just a few days of november left, I relapsed...not very happy with myself to say the least, especially since I'm already finding so many reasons to justify using regularly again :(
 
ah its okay pagey i relapsed bad as well. I'm a day short on getting my big supply of benzos so i'm using gabapentin, kratom and zopiclone to get by lol fucked up mix.

i can't help but use benzos regularly, i function so well on them so long as i dont abuse them. Either way, try to stop rationalizing your drug use and think about other things. I know it's tough but don't beat yourself up about a relapse, it will happen to almost every drug user out there.
 
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