TDS No more excuses, no more exceptions.

Vomit fox

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Jan 6, 2012
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Although I've went from everyday use to 2-3 days with 1-4 days clean in between, I've decided enough is enough. My father went back to jail and it triggered me to start again. Probably because his time in prison when I was a young kid is what started this whole mess, I decided fuck the addiction is a disease idea, fuck 12 steps and "relapse is a part of recovery" excuse. I decided I'm not longer an addict, and it was simple. I've decided whole heartedly that I'm never gonna use again, and I won't change my mind. That very moment i declared myself free of addiction and no longer an addict. I will not worry about relapse, or drugs in general, simply because I'm not an addict and I won't use again. Ill post at least once a day, not a road to recovery, or how I'm coping with life without drugs, but more like a blog I suppose telling you how my day has gone. It will be boring and mundane but I'm sure it will be exciting at certain points. For those "fighting" addiction, power to you. No more just for today's, cause it makes me think about drugs, I'm honestly never gonna use so that's that! :)
 
I like your style VF and look forward to hearing you progress. I think there is something really powerful about drawing that line in the sand and saying I'm never going to use no matter what. But, because your drive to do drugs comes from the unconscious mind, a resolution from the conscious usually has little effect on the desires and drives of the unconscious.

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this is a great thread with such a powerful opening post... keep striding VF!!

i think you should place a a majority of your post on to a tee shirt, it has such honesty/direction/feeling that many others could truly relate to.

good for you for taking this stance and vocalizing your thoughts. we can always try are hardest to hold a determined mind set before us to help guide us but if there is a break in it by no means does it mean it is broken. determination and will is wonderful but can be lost or over driven with out the balance for understanding and patience.

with in your "no more excuses, no more exceptions" i feel like "no more EXPECTATIONS" is a very strong, important factor to consider.. expectations no matter of what can really create an unbalanced vision/thoughts/feelings.

i think this is a really fantastic place and a terrific thought to document your process through this channel in creating an "open" record to share with others. which in return will give more support/strength to you. looking very forward to seeing your journal/story unfold. ... ..
 
Part of the reason I stopped with the NA was because of the " you'll always be like this- your in this for life" vibe. It didn't ring true to me, and I found it to be a damaging message. So I'm saying nice one for taking charge of your life and realising yes we do have a say in this thing
 
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many others have had the same problems/feelings that you are expressing about with NA/AA it is not that uncommon. have you ever looked into SMART recovery.. . it is a very different approach and formate then NA/AA many find them selves checking it out for the same reasons you feel. they are an international organization.

www.smartrecovery.org/

here is a link about SMART and discussion on it from SL here in bluelight.

www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/672723-SMART-Recovery-(Support-Group-information-and-discussion)
 
look out for anger and resentment.
these are common for non-AA sober people(what AA calls dry drunks).
there are other things,but this I've found to be true.

personally I'm a disaster left to my own devices.
AA works for me just for the company of other people.
loneliness in sobriety is hard.
wishing you good luck on your own personal path.

respect.
 
That smart recovery sounds ideal. Im a firm believer in cognitive therapy and im gonna bring this up with my drug worker. The way i see it, quitting takes monumental will and self control, so if you can embrace that, what can be more self empowering than that? The anger and resentment is a big problem for me though.
 
hey dmg.. . glad you checked out some information on SMART and that you feel like it could be a good fit! more processing and open communication with genuine support could really be helpful in continuing to address the anger and resentment issues you are facing. it is great that you can identify these emotions and how they create problems or friction for you and that you want to work through them, in having a better understanding and control of your addiction and yes that is truly empowering!

if you check out a SMART meeting either in person or online it would be wonderful if you could post about your experience in the >SMART thread in SL<. hope you do so and make a positive connection through it in helping you on your journey!!
 
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Good luck, Fox. Optimism is a powerful tool but having a support group (whatever that means for you) is the other missing link imo.......when we're at our weakest just one or two good friends to encourage us can change the tides, and instead of walking straight back down into the ocean of drugs we can turn around and scale mountains in the distance. ;) A little imagery for you there, hah. <3
 
Thanks pro re, I just hope we get this program in the uk. I've been offered something called "mapping" by my worker, and that's also a cognitive approach. I couldn't recommend this type of therapy highly enough, based on my past experiences. It's not effortless by any means; you have to pretty much change your entire way of thinking, all the negative stuff. I'll start a thread to review how I get on.
 
Why dont you attend some online meetings and see if it could be something you can start to get rolling in the UK. So many people either have hang ups with the fellowships or need something on top of them to make their recovery and lives better. Ha just noticed that avatar gently.. lol thats pretty nuts:)
 
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..... .. right!! lol. i had to do a double take when i noticed it!! funny... super intense like.

dmg.. you for sure should check out an online meeting. they are very interactive and support is centered around what you choose to share, i think you might really connect with it. they might even have a local meeting in the UK where you are at and as NSA pointed out they are always looking for people to do start ups in new locations. i really hope you try an online meting and lets us know your thoughts, also hope your feeling/doing well!
 
So I fucked up :( but got back on I'm on day 10 with one day used on I believe 6, but that's behind me. I'm ready to progress I'm back in college already, going through a break up and even with its shit I'm making the most of it, motivation cause if I use it makes her seen right that I'm a drug addict that can't control himself. But how I feel and the amount of days clean I have I feel great, fantastic, in charge! Boredom was my and still is my worst enemy but full time work and school helps keep me busy as well as the gym. Ill find new hobbies and such, anyone quitting I suggest doing it ASAP, feeling shitty is temporary and getting the rest of my life back seems like a great trade off :)
Good luck to everyone!
 
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