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TDS No idea how I can ever quit?

T

Tacoma

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 26, 2014
Messages
319
Location
Washington
I've had a really heavy drug addiction for about 2 years that im hiding from everyone aside from my parents and close friends. I've tried rehab and it was the worst experience of my life I don't know how I can ever go through that again. I Personally don't really wanna quit but just don't wanna hurt them anymore help?
 
Tacoma, if you care more about your family, you are gonna have to quit, you are gonna have to want to quit and be ready for it. For myself, I know I cannot let my family suffer again with my addiction so I am focusing my time and energy on work and workouts. How about divert your attention to something more positive that will benefit your future? There are other things besides drugs that will not ruin your health nor mental health.
 
Tacoma said:
I Personally don't really wanna quit
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Find a reason to quit, that seems to be what you are missing.

Some of my friends quit because they had a kid, did it for a girl, wanted a job, were scared of being a broken toothless junky, or just wanted to see the numbers in their bank accounts go up, instead of be zero constantly.
 
I guess I can't convince myself at this time as terrible as it sounds this one thing Is really all I want (and I have no kids by the way)
 
Tacoma said:
I've had a really heavy drug addiction for about 2 years that im hiding from everyone aside from my parents and close friends. I've tried rehab and it was the worst experience of my life I don't know how I can ever go through that again. I Personally don't really wanna quit but just don't wanna hurt them anymore help?
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Im in the same situation, my problem is heroin, I regularly borrow money, and/or use all the money I can get my hands on, for dope, I owe SOOO much money to many different people right now, I dont think I will ever be able to pay them all back!

The rational part of my brain that is still functional, tells me I really need to quit, but my body and other part of my brain is telling me more dope will make it all better ( but only temporarily), Ive heard people who are successful at quitting say a person REALLY REALLY has to want to be clean to be successful, this worries me, because I dont really want to quit, but need to quit for my own good, I absolutely LOVE heroin and the way it makes me feel, its very tough to try and forget all that and NEVER use again.
 
You're obviously scared about where your drug habits are leading you. On the one hand, you're saying you don't really want to quit, but you've posted multiple threads over the last few days where it's obvious that you're worried about both the immediate and the longer term effects of your drug use.

You posted that you're on an alcohol binge at the moment, so I guess one of my first questions is whether you only get worried about the effects of your drug use when you're drunk? You've got plenty going on at the moment which might justify a hospital admission, but that's not going to be a stepping stone to long term quitting if you don't want to quit.

What mental health resources do you have access to? You mentioned elsewhere you take drugs to numb yourself. Maybe some kind of maintenance therapy while you learn how to deal with uncomfortable emotions would be a better option than cold turkey. You might be in a better place to deal with the physical addiction if you first deal with the psychological/emotional addiction.

It's good that you're at least considering the idea of quitting. Now might be a good time to think about what kind of support you think you'd need/want in order to turn those thoughts into action.

You haven't mentioned your age and it's kind of relevant. You said that you started on this path after being prescribed opiate painkillers when young and that you live with your family. Have you ever experienced adult life clean or was the addiction already present when you entered adulthood?
 
What rehab did you go to? Different treatment centres have different approaches. Mine was unbearable and I would never advise anyone to attend that hell hole of a place. However, like I mentioned different centres have different approaches so if I personally ever had to attend treatment again, I would look for a place that has a more compassionate, loving approach, instead of a tell you you're a piece of shit and your family should leave you approach.

Look into other treatment centres with a different clinical philosophy. Btw would love to know which treatment centre you attended if you are willing to share.
 
And I haven't necessary experienced "adult hood" while sober. Don't have much money since I have 2 addictions so I moved in with people who are like family not my actual family
 
i managed to kick a 2+ year junk addition after countless attempts. It was only when I knew 100% that I wanted to get clean off opiates I managed. you have to deep down know you never want to take that drug ever agen and unfortunely sometimes it takes for you to hit rock bottom to do this. Im still addicted to Ketamine and that's because I deep down still want to use it all my family and friends in the world cant stop that. To get over a Ketamine addiction is no where near as hard as a opiate one but it was only when I 100% wanted to stop I dragged my self though a fucking hellish WD and have manage to stay clean off junk since.
 
Tacoma said:
And I haven't necessary experienced "adult hood" while sober. Don't have much money since I have 2 addictions so I moved in with people who are like family not my actual family
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You may want to look into a Salvation Army adult rehab center in your area, I was in one of these recently and it was pretty good, it is a 6 month program and is 100% FREE, I only stayed a few days, the withdrawls got the best of me and I got the fuck outta there, but looking back, if I had the strength to stay, it would have been a good thing for me.

And really, ANY rehab will seem to be hellish, even if its one of those $100K places, all boils down to being somewhere and NOT being able to cop or use...in this sense, all rehabs will be bad, but its actually helping you.

Good luck.
 
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