Upon writing this, I definitely haven’t quite got back in touch with reality yet. I’ve had quite a bit of time off work due to an injury, and during this time I decided to experiment with nitrous oxide. The drugs I’ve previously done include the following: marijuana, alcohol, nicotine, MDMA, ketamine and nitrous oxide.
The first time I did nitrous oxide was absolutely amazing, I was on MDMA at the time and the world became pixelated. The balloon I was inhaling from became almost cartoon-like. Since then, I’ve done it a few times and experienced all sorts of epiphanies and “weird thoughts”.
In the past I’ve always done it with people, at after-parties, and after reaching a certain point I experience mild paranoia – not necessarily a bad kind – normally including the idea that the other people in the room are conspiring against me. The sound of my breathing mixed up with the auditory hallucination coincides with the movement of people’s mouths, and I get the feeling that my friends are laughing at me or know something I don’t. It’s not unpleasant, just very interesting that everyone in the room seems to know some sort of secret that I don’t. There was another instance where I thought I’d definitely found Nirvana, if only for a few seconds, and discovered the answer to many of life’s questions, including why my cousin had to die at such a young age that year.
However, whenever I’ve done nitrous oxide in the past and had amazing epiphanies, they’ve always been softened or obscured by the people in the room with me. So this time, I was determined that I was going to be left alone with my thoughts on nitrous to see what would happen. I chose a day that I knew I had free, when nobody else would be home, and proceeded to inhale two boxes of nitrous with oxygen in between double balloons.
It obviously took a while for the nitrous to hit, at first I just heard music alter slightly and got the classic tingly sensations all over my body. However, while well into the first box, I started to have an epiphany yet again.
At some point between the first and second box, I completely lost touch of reality. I think I remained conscious the whole time but I may have passed out at some point. While inhaling the gas, I became consumed with the idea that the reality I know is false and I’m the only one in the world who can see it. Although this time I was on my own, once again I was convinced that I’d discovered the truth about the “reality” we live in being false, and everyone else in the world was conspiring against me and knew this secret.
I started to blow into the balloon, and when I exhaled I felt like I was reaching Heaven, and when I inhaled I felt like I was being made aware of the existence of Hell. So for a while, breathing in meant Hell, and breathing out meant Heaven. I typed into a Word document after this particular balloon that I thought I was stuck between Heaven and Hell. I then wrote “Heaven and Hell exists”.
At this stage I was getting paranoid that someone was knocking on the door and would discover me incredibly high on nitrous.
I carried on. And further into the trip, I decided that I’d glimpsed Heaven but for some reason I can’t reach it yet. My curiosity deepened and I was down to my last few canisters. I decided to think about the concept of Heaven and Hell to see where nos would take my mind, and that was when I had my biggest epiphany.
The major effects of the nitrous have faded now, but basically during this epiphany I found out that the reality we know is purgatory. I’ve not yet reached Heaven, and there’s a chance I might go to Hell too, but at the moment I am stuck in purgatory.
The last thing I wrote in the Word document is “nitrous oxide was given to us by God as a tool to discover the existence of Heaven”.
I’ve had a very strange two hours. All I can say is that, due to what I’ve perceived, I’m convinced Heaven and Hell exists, and that the reality we live in is either purgatory, and I’m on my way to somewhere else, or it’s just one big joke that I’m not supposed to find out about (or both). I really don’t know if I plan on taking nitrous again, I’m relatively new to it. I don’t think it’s a good idea. I feel like I learnt things today that we’re not supposed to learn.
I don’t really know what I’m hoping to achieve with this post. I was just wondering if anyone could provide any insight or details/links of similar experiences on nitrous oxide. At the moment I’m still tingly and confused and I know that in a couple of hours my feet will be back on the ground and life will start getting back to normal.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, I appreciate it.
The first time I did nitrous oxide was absolutely amazing, I was on MDMA at the time and the world became pixelated. The balloon I was inhaling from became almost cartoon-like. Since then, I’ve done it a few times and experienced all sorts of epiphanies and “weird thoughts”.
In the past I’ve always done it with people, at after-parties, and after reaching a certain point I experience mild paranoia – not necessarily a bad kind – normally including the idea that the other people in the room are conspiring against me. The sound of my breathing mixed up with the auditory hallucination coincides with the movement of people’s mouths, and I get the feeling that my friends are laughing at me or know something I don’t. It’s not unpleasant, just very interesting that everyone in the room seems to know some sort of secret that I don’t. There was another instance where I thought I’d definitely found Nirvana, if only for a few seconds, and discovered the answer to many of life’s questions, including why my cousin had to die at such a young age that year.
However, whenever I’ve done nitrous oxide in the past and had amazing epiphanies, they’ve always been softened or obscured by the people in the room with me. So this time, I was determined that I was going to be left alone with my thoughts on nitrous to see what would happen. I chose a day that I knew I had free, when nobody else would be home, and proceeded to inhale two boxes of nitrous with oxygen in between double balloons.
It obviously took a while for the nitrous to hit, at first I just heard music alter slightly and got the classic tingly sensations all over my body. However, while well into the first box, I started to have an epiphany yet again.
At some point between the first and second box, I completely lost touch of reality. I think I remained conscious the whole time but I may have passed out at some point. While inhaling the gas, I became consumed with the idea that the reality I know is false and I’m the only one in the world who can see it. Although this time I was on my own, once again I was convinced that I’d discovered the truth about the “reality” we live in being false, and everyone else in the world was conspiring against me and knew this secret.
I started to blow into the balloon, and when I exhaled I felt like I was reaching Heaven, and when I inhaled I felt like I was being made aware of the existence of Hell. So for a while, breathing in meant Hell, and breathing out meant Heaven. I typed into a Word document after this particular balloon that I thought I was stuck between Heaven and Hell. I then wrote “Heaven and Hell exists”.
At this stage I was getting paranoid that someone was knocking on the door and would discover me incredibly high on nitrous.
I carried on. And further into the trip, I decided that I’d glimpsed Heaven but for some reason I can’t reach it yet. My curiosity deepened and I was down to my last few canisters. I decided to think about the concept of Heaven and Hell to see where nos would take my mind, and that was when I had my biggest epiphany.
The major effects of the nitrous have faded now, but basically during this epiphany I found out that the reality we know is purgatory. I’ve not yet reached Heaven, and there’s a chance I might go to Hell too, but at the moment I am stuck in purgatory.
The last thing I wrote in the Word document is “nitrous oxide was given to us by God as a tool to discover the existence of Heaven”.
I’ve had a very strange two hours. All I can say is that, due to what I’ve perceived, I’m convinced Heaven and Hell exists, and that the reality we live in is either purgatory, and I’m on my way to somewhere else, or it’s just one big joke that I’m not supposed to find out about (or both). I really don’t know if I plan on taking nitrous again, I’m relatively new to it. I don’t think it’s a good idea. I feel like I learnt things today that we’re not supposed to learn.
I don’t really know what I’m hoping to achieve with this post. I was just wondering if anyone could provide any insight or details/links of similar experiences on nitrous oxide. At the moment I’m still tingly and confused and I know that in a couple of hours my feet will be back on the ground and life will start getting back to normal.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, I appreciate it.
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). Talk about questioning reality...