Hi MerryPrankster
shit i'm going have to do some nitrous to find out why nitrous addicts are douglas adams addicts. a universal truth in seekers of universal truths.
indeed one of my nitrous thoughts (remember only because it was thought of when i was coming down) was perhaps the reason for forgetting the answer was because I didn't know the question!
your story reminds me of my old days (of many addictions) of using nitrous. Nitrous gives you a saltatory effect albeit with instant memory loss.
Apart from some personal issues i have always wondered this about Nitrous:
Was the drug itself reasonable for titillating a certain part of my brain or was it allowing my brain to break barriers and accessing previously inaccessible information? Perhaps I don't make any sense on this. It has been years since I have chased (seriously) the nitrous cloud of deja vu and truth. But I could never separate a feeling of whether there was any fact in the reality that nitrous was a drug that truly allowed for the transceding of our reality to that of where access to everything and anything was granted albeit for a sweet few minutes at best.
I remember riding that never ending feeling of deja vu, of knowing the truth about some personal issues, of escaping the terrible layers of loss, riding a though into a totality of truth . Like that song you have with your first love (that always takes you back) nitrous allowed me to go back to (ironically) that first love.
I constantly tried to push the dose, if only I could inhale for longer, and longer. I would get deeper into it. I too felt a mad man pushing not for some psychonaut desire to find the truth of the universe (that was just a secondary aim) but really a selfish one to escape back into those feelings of old.
I would hyperventilate and hold my breath whilst inhaling 3 bulbs. Taking one breath I would load another 3 or 4 until I would find myself going through at least 100 up to 200 bulbs. (sometimes more). I no longer remember how frequently this ritual was but it seemed very regular, daily perhaps, perhaps not all the time I do remember acid, MDMA and speed punctuating that existences. Some days after binging I would find myself waking up in the morning from lying on my desk all night, wondering what had happened.
Nitrous gave me hope of reliving a moment of my life that mere words cannot describe and I hate it for letting me get travel to that feeling, that moment, that truth, letting me enter only to find out that after I leave I had to surrender all that I learnt, felt, loved, desired, wanted at the fucking door of comedown.
In frustration I tried to type, write my experience, i thought i was only to discover that in my delusions I was typing but found the reality to be empty of anything meaningful. The bitch nitrous made it clear I would know it held the key to the door but that truth was never going out the doorway.
Perhaps i was addicted to nitrous. after my intense 12 months of experimentation of pushing the bubble I got bored and sick of it. Add several days of speed binge, lots of bugs, and subsequence psychoses (i'm terrible sensitive to pretty much all drugs) I gave up much of everything (well to the extent that those old days dictated).
Its funny. In some ways I miss my even older days of innocecent nitrous use. I remember going through an entire case of nitrous (we purchased three entire supermarkets worth of nitrous stock on the pretence it was for a family business - hell we were fifteen and had $3 grand to spend) of my more useful nitrous use. Lying in the bush, listening to Mad Professors "No Protection" (there is no greater nitrous bulbing music then that one CD, ever, period), watching the trees sway back and forth, and feeling time and slow down to planck time.
I remember days of making love on nitrous (difficult but achievable), the desire to kiss and just fuck like mad. Then again that;s why i still bother to do the odd nitrous now days
These days every and now then I play with it, just a few boxes here and there. I am somewhat over the immediate hangover, the feeling that I just dropped a few million cells. The grogginess that you cannot shake etc
I never got any numbness or anything worse then passing out however i guess i was just lucky.
oh lastly Nitrous is my curer for any hangover (alcoholic)
Thanks MerryPrankster for sharing your story (my apologies for the hijack).
PS. All of this reminds of me of one my friends who used to steal tanks of nitrous from public hospitals. Where they would tape up the room vents and open the tank up. Other times they would connect the masks up and just spend hours inhaling nitrous.
They were always in for the high so I never bothered them with questions of the universe but oh man it nearly encouraged me to do it. Lucky for me (as i'm a terrible thief) I stopped doing drugs (for awhile).
