I have written a bit about my youngest child...Her mum is Mexican yada,yada and uh, yada. Well after travelling a lot I expected to spend New Years back in the Philippines. As an Israeli-Jew neither Xmas nor Western New Year mean anything to me. Yet I felt that I would relax up on Luzon with Joysa and her family.
On December 23 I received a very heartfelt email from my youngest daughter as well as a separate one from her mum. Most Spanish speaking cultures have a coming out ceremony on or around a girl's 15th birthday, called a Quincinera (I don't have the correct font on my Blackberry so please, I am well aware that I spelled it just a tad bit incorrectly. My Spanish is a lot better than my English). Quincineras are analogous to The American "Sweet 16." Both were originally intended to announce that a daughter is now marriageable. Mexicans, like Puerto Ricans and Cubans do it up right spending money, etc.
My youngest's mum doesn't have the proverbial pot to piss in. When I met her she was an illegal alien working as an au pair outside of Tampa, Florida. At the time I had just arrived in the US after leaving the army (in Israel we don't actually "leave" when we are less than middle aged, we simply leave Active Duty) and before I finished my degree I wanted to make some money. I had family at the time in a town called Delray Beach, on the other coast of Florida and went there 1st. My relative had a condo in a retirement community. The name of the actual development escapes me at this point (funny cause I stayed there for 4 months) but it was almost 100% Jewish ant the population topped out at like 90,000 people. 90,000 elderly Jews, basically it was hell.
They have a pool in every section. I love pools, Florida is warm, sounds like a winner! I walk into the locker room and I see this old guy washing his fucken socks and underoo type panties (that is what they look like to me)! It is just that kind of fucked up place. Like every negative Jewish stereotype you can think of is there and more, it is all u see.
My favourite story, true actually, is where this 90 year old woman is DRIVING with her husband. They leave a Walmart and begin driving towards Boca Raton (who would figure that a town called "Rat Mouth" would become one of the world's richest locales). She is driving down the wrong lane of a 4 lane hiway. Like Mr. Fucken Magoo she is driving oblivious to the oncoming cars and trucks, giving the finger to them because apparently she believed THOSE drivers were the ones on the wrong side of the road. She only made it a few kilometers before she met a lorry head on and BOOM, Grandmum has gone to a better place.
Aaah, the name of that hell on earth is "Kings Point." I am IMing with a cousin from my mum's side of the family and he laughingly reminded me. Anyway...
My family membet was a retired pharmacologist. I spent the first week gulping down opiates (yay Dilaudid) and then of course they noticed but my jaw getting shot off mitigated the expected response. I had become morphine dependent almost 5 years prior. We all agreed that its best I started working as quickly as possible to regain some structure in my life. Actually that was my idea they didn't know what I should do though they did mention rehab (hey, I'm no quitter!). I was not amenable to what would have been a waste of money.
I not only got a job, I got 3. I worked on the loading dock at Watkins, a freight company, loading and unloading lorrys, I got a job as stock clerk and cashier at a Walgreens inside that community and I got a 3rd job as a physical therapy aide at Pinecrest Hospital.
This lasted about a month until Purim, a Jewish holiday where men are commanded to get high (Judaisim is very in synch with human nature and has 3 days a year when you must get high if able). A cousin from Miami came to visit. My mum's maiden name was Akerman (a Turkish name though in the US most adapt it to the Dutch "Ackerman"). A 1st cousin of mine on that side is a man who was describrd as the "Cali Cartel's North American manager." Harold Ackerman got life just before I arrived but this cousin was still rolling. When he heard my game plan he laughed so hard.
Now I had stupidly spent some time in an Israeli military prison over a bad decison and some hashish so I was in no real rush to try my hand as scarface...though I did file away the offer for future reference.
To be continued...
On December 23 I received a very heartfelt email from my youngest daughter as well as a separate one from her mum. Most Spanish speaking cultures have a coming out ceremony on or around a girl's 15th birthday, called a Quincinera (I don't have the correct font on my Blackberry so please, I am well aware that I spelled it just a tad bit incorrectly. My Spanish is a lot better than my English). Quincineras are analogous to The American "Sweet 16." Both were originally intended to announce that a daughter is now marriageable. Mexicans, like Puerto Ricans and Cubans do it up right spending money, etc.
My youngest's mum doesn't have the proverbial pot to piss in. When I met her she was an illegal alien working as an au pair outside of Tampa, Florida. At the time I had just arrived in the US after leaving the army (in Israel we don't actually "leave" when we are less than middle aged, we simply leave Active Duty) and before I finished my degree I wanted to make some money. I had family at the time in a town called Delray Beach, on the other coast of Florida and went there 1st. My relative had a condo in a retirement community. The name of the actual development escapes me at this point (funny cause I stayed there for 4 months) but it was almost 100% Jewish ant the population topped out at like 90,000 people. 90,000 elderly Jews, basically it was hell.
They have a pool in every section. I love pools, Florida is warm, sounds like a winner! I walk into the locker room and I see this old guy washing his fucken socks and underoo type panties (that is what they look like to me)! It is just that kind of fucked up place. Like every negative Jewish stereotype you can think of is there and more, it is all u see.
My favourite story, true actually, is where this 90 year old woman is DRIVING with her husband. They leave a Walmart and begin driving towards Boca Raton (who would figure that a town called "Rat Mouth" would become one of the world's richest locales). She is driving down the wrong lane of a 4 lane hiway. Like Mr. Fucken Magoo she is driving oblivious to the oncoming cars and trucks, giving the finger to them because apparently she believed THOSE drivers were the ones on the wrong side of the road. She only made it a few kilometers before she met a lorry head on and BOOM, Grandmum has gone to a better place.
Aaah, the name of that hell on earth is "Kings Point." I am IMing with a cousin from my mum's side of the family and he laughingly reminded me. Anyway...
My family membet was a retired pharmacologist. I spent the first week gulping down opiates (yay Dilaudid) and then of course they noticed but my jaw getting shot off mitigated the expected response. I had become morphine dependent almost 5 years prior. We all agreed that its best I started working as quickly as possible to regain some structure in my life. Actually that was my idea they didn't know what I should do though they did mention rehab (hey, I'm no quitter!). I was not amenable to what would have been a waste of money.
I not only got a job, I got 3. I worked on the loading dock at Watkins, a freight company, loading and unloading lorrys, I got a job as stock clerk and cashier at a Walgreens inside that community and I got a 3rd job as a physical therapy aide at Pinecrest Hospital.
This lasted about a month until Purim, a Jewish holiday where men are commanded to get high (Judaisim is very in synch with human nature and has 3 days a year when you must get high if able). A cousin from Miami came to visit. My mum's maiden name was Akerman (a Turkish name though in the US most adapt it to the Dutch "Ackerman"). A 1st cousin of mine on that side is a man who was describrd as the "Cali Cartel's North American manager." Harold Ackerman got life just before I arrived but this cousin was still rolling. When he heard my game plan he laughed so hard.
Now I had stupidly spent some time in an Israeli military prison over a bad decison and some hashish so I was in no real rush to try my hand as scarface...though I did file away the offer for future reference.
To be continued...