I'm gay, and found that comming out early in the school year made life easier for me. I was 'out' in my home-town, my parents knew, my friends knew, most of my family knew. So, I was already pretty comfortable in my own skin, which made comming out at Univ a pretty easy task.
I didnt warn anyone prior to moving in, and I didnt do the "Hey guys, lets sit down I need to tell you something" routine. What I did?
- On the 2nd or 3rd day after moving in, a bunch of people were sitting in one of the townhouses, 1 of my roomates was there, and jsut chatting/hanging out. One of the girls starts talking about homos, and I sort of casually drop it into the conversation that Im gay also. My roomate took it very well, and the news spread quickly from that - the 4 other roomates found out in short order, as did well - many other people.
After that, I'd simply be honest. I didnt do the "hi, I'm shypht and I smoke pole" for an introduction, I hate it when people introduce themselfs like that. Instead, if I was telling a story that involved my boyfriend - I'd simply say 'boyfriend' and use 'he' instead of 'she', I didnt swap things around to make ti sound like I was dating girls.
From my expierence - everyone was very cool with it, and I'd actually say that the fact that I was gay, played a large part in the friends that I did make.
I didnt really fit into the sterotypical gay sterotype. I'm 6ft4, 230 pounds, at that time - I listented to punk, gabber, hardcore - no Madonna posters on my wall, had pretty much no fashion sense and would rather spend a night rocking out in a moshpit then doing my nails
No limp wrist, no lisp, while I am far from being a 'macho' person, I'm very much not a femm person.
For alot of people who had moved to Toronto from smaller towns and never really had any exposure to gays except from Will and Grace, it was a supprise to meet me - and they thought it was cool. It was like being the 'token gay friend, who isnt really all that gay'. As my one roomate said "your the anti-fag fag"
Now and then, I'd have my dates come over to the house - and the other guys would just sit around and shoot the shit just like it was any other guy in there. Once in a blue moon someone would spend the night, and I'd keep shit down just out of respect for others. Would of done the same if I had bringing girls over and I was straight.
Keep in mind, this is in Toronto Canada, and well - seems like every homo in southern ontario moves here at some point, being gay in Toronto simply isnt an 'issue'. I can goto the straightest of straight clubs/bars with my boyfriend and not feel threatended in any way.
But IMO - comming out is really for your own benifit, and not the benifit of others. Quite frankly, I didnt want to lie and change 'he' to 'she' when talking about dates. I didnt want to lie about what I did on weekends, or who I'm dating. Keeping track of a million little white lies gets taxing /very/ quickly.
If someone has a problem with me being gay, then they are not the type of person I want to hang around anyways.
and note to the straight guys: Not every gay man is lusting after you, not every gay man wants to shag you, and not every gay man is checking you out when you walk by.
I lived with 5 other guys for a year, and not once did I 'sneek a peak', or lust after them -- quite frankly, I didnt find any of them to be the least bit attractive to me.
and, even if I did find one of them attractive, I wouldnt of made any moves on them out of respect. I do have a few straight friends that I find to be very cute, but I have never, and will never 'put the moves' on them - so stop being so damn paranoid.
