New member sick of dependence on Dr. Prescribed oxy codone

[Sooverit]

Greetings,
Sitting at home alone as usual wondering when my life is going to get better. I am a shadow of the person I used to be 5 years ago. History of major back surgeries for scoliosis Harrington rod, herniated discs, etc....

I was a teacher and refused pain meds until 5 years ago when it was really bad. Am now on disability, take 30 mg 4 times a day of oxy codone.
Am SO SICK of being dependent on this crap, depressed, am single NO sex drive at all just dead, pushed away all my friends, hardly leave the house, feel like I have nothing to get out of bed for except my animals.

Ugg hate the way I sound. Tired of mental confusion and forgetfulness on oxy. Yes they help the pain but I do not have any sexual feelings and feel no happy feelings naturally.

3 months ago stopped taking anti depressives , Valium, sleeping stuff etc... Happy about that.
I want to be off pills.

Tried to twice but the withdrawl symptoms I cannot take it.

I am AMAZEd at reading the stories of those who have done it. It honestly amazes me. How in the heck do you do it????

don't have a support system.

Anyway I am rattling on and in but I need to at least try to reach out.

I can get dressed put on make up dress cute and look like a million bucks and people can't tell ANYthjng is wrong with me.

But I know and I don't know how or when I will get the motivation to be able to get off this crap.

I am afraid.

Now I am also very funny with a great sense of humor and I am even boring myself with this pathetic sob story ugggg.

Thanks for taking the time to read!

 

[Smoky]

Greetings! Welcome to Bluelight !
I was on opiates for pain myself. Quite a lot. Do you want to taper off of them? Have you thought of Suboxone? Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions about the site. Great to have you here!

 

[Blueshawkmandude]

You need to get someone Special in ur life. Someone that wants you. Someone that will need you. Maybe start getting in the mindset that you have to help someone. Each day, try and do something, anything to make someone, anyone, day better in any way.
Somewhere someone said. Try and do for others and I will do for you. It will work to brighten your life. I promise, it will. really.

 

[tnvol44]

You can do this,there are most of the resources you need on this site.I did it a few weeks ago,oxy gave me my life back but it scared me to the point I wanted to prove to myself I was dependent,not addicted.It was hard but I did it only to find that my pain levels were really too bad to go without some kind of powerful med to get me down from a 9 on the pain scale.The pain was worse than the thought of being on meds.When I was drug free,the pain made me suicidal for sure.Before you do this,what plan do you have for your pain once you are detoxed?I tried all kinds of alternate therapies,massage,heat,tens unit,everything I could think of and nothing helped.If you have something in mind or there are options for you that you believe will work then by all means go for it.If you don't have any other way to rid your pain then I would ask why do you want to put yourself through that hell only to have to go back to where you were?I have found that my tolerance did go down some and that was the only upside to it.I also will be requiring my pm doc to switch out the oxy for something else every six months.I know how you feel,it's like being between a rock and a hard place.Maybe you can find another way to get back your sex drive and find enjoyment in things while taking care of your pain at the same time.I am not trying to discourage you at all,but I panicked and wasn't thinking long term in terms of my real pain.It is still there and then some after you detox,have a plan for it before you go down this road because it is a rough one!