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New here, looking for hope!

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copperdome

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 6, 2017
Messages
141
Hello my name is Ben. I have been reading a lot and I want to hear from people who have been successful in recovery. I am 3 months clean from opiates. I am struggling with wanting to smoke marijuana. I am 27 and I have used for 16 years. Daily for 10 years. Now I find myself depressed and struggling with my addiction. Is there a certain amount of clean time that will get me feeling less depressed? I know my use affected my brain. Thanks for reading.
 
Quitting pot is hard. Great job quitting the opiates though that's a huge victory! Don't beat yourself up about smoking pot right now. I would focus on staying off the opiates then in time gradually phase out the pot. I am on methadone for a heroin addiction and it still took me a year too quit pot and not want to blow my brains out lol. If you do decided to try and quit pot sooner you should know that the first two weeks are the worst and most cravings subside by the second month. In between I had some good days and some terrible days.
 
3 months off opiates is a massive accomplishment! I can't really pretend to give you advice, given how well you've already done. But I'm with cj and CH--unless something's really compelling you to do so, maybe give yourself some latitude on the weed? Again, barring outside factors, there's no rush on cleaning up; it's a long project. And my impulse, anyway, is to keep as stress free as possible in order to stay on track quitting dope. For me, that means smoking pot until I feel good and steady in my heroin quit.

Regardless, though, excellent work, man!
 
simco said:
3 months off opiates is a massive accomplishment! I can't really pretend to give you advice, given how well you've already done. But I'm with cj and CH--unless something's really compelling you to do so, maybe give yourself some latitude on the weed? Again, barring outside factors, there's no rush on cleaning up; it's a long project. And my impulse, anyway, is to keep as stress free as possible in order to stay on track quitting dope. For me, that means smoking pot until I feel good and steady in my heroin quit.

Regardless, though, excellent work, man!
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Yep getting off H is the main goal.

As for the depression its totally normal coming off heroin. Its called Post acute withdrawal syndrome. Time, healthy eating and exercise will be your main medicine to help it. Some people get on SSRIs but I am not a fan of that idea. The pot can actually be a big help as well.
 
Hi I'm new here as well one week clean off heroin nearly there now still raw with insomnia which has been bad for the tail end of this WD.just like to say that I think weed can be quite a beneficial tool for the recovering heroin addict if not completely overused ,helps me become more consious and re engage with my conscience which has been strangled by the smack .im 46 and in a cycle of short 2 to 3 month relapses and don't smoke pot when on the gear so maybe I'm right off the mark ! if I get 3 months clean I won't be worrying bout a bit of weed congratulations I'd focus on the 3 month bit
an not beat yeself up over a bit of
Ganj
 
Hey, congrats on three months. Have you tried any step programs or meetings. For me the only way to stay clean and sober is through meetings and working a 12 step program
 
First off congrats on 3 months clean from opiates! It took me 2-3 months for the crushing depression to go away after quitting those suckers...

Not a big weed person so I can't offer any advice, just take it one day at a time
 
starting_over said:
First off congrats on 3 months clean from opiates! It took me 2-3 months for the crushing depression to go away after quitting those suckers...

Not a big weed person so I can't offer any advice, just take it one day at a time
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Thanks everyone so much for the responses and support. I gave in and burned one.
 
copperdome said:
Hello my name is Ben. I have been reading a lot and I want to hear from people who have been successful in recovery. I am 3 months clean from opiates. I am struggling with wanting to smoke marijuana. I am 27 and I have used for 16 years. Daily for 10 years. Now I find myself depressed and struggling with my addiction. Is there a certain amount of clean time that will get me feeling less depressed? I know my use affected my brain. Thanks for reading.
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copperdome said:
Thanks everyone so much for the responses and support. I gave in and burned one.
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First let me say, welcome to BL copperdome! Have you visited the New Member Introduction forum?

Please don't beat yourself up for "giving in" as you say. You're far from powerless when it comes to how or whether or not you choose to use substances. You are far more capable than you are able to presently understand when it comes to dealing with the harms and risks involved with substance use.

Learning how to use (or not use) substances is something that must be learned, after all.

I don't care for the abstinence only model of sobriety, so put that aside when I ask you: Does using cannabis present as problematic for you with where you are at in your life right now?

Could using cannabis in certain ways significantly harm your quality of life and well being? It may, it may not. How are you going to prevent yourself from getting to a place where your cannabis use causes you more harm than it is worth? When it comes to harm reduction, we all need a plan!
 
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toothpastedog said:
First let me say, welcome to BL copperdome! Have you visited the New Member Introduction forum?

Please don't beat yourself up for "giving in" as you say. You're far from powerless when it comes to how or whether or not you choose to use substances. You are far more capable than you are able to presently understand when it comes to dealing with the harms and risks involved with substance use.

Learning how to use (or not use) substances is something that must be learned, after all.

I don't care for the abstinence only model of sobriety, so put that aside when I ask you: Does using cannabis present as problematic for you with where you are at in your life right now?

Could using cannabis in certain ways significantly harm your quality of life and well being? It may, it may not. How are you going to prevent yourself from getting to a place where your cannabis use causes you more harm than it is worth? When it comes to harm reduction, we all need a plan!
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I feel like I opened back the rabit hole by smoking. I'm really not enjoying it as much as I thought. I guess I'm still depressed from my opiod addiction. Using made me happy before and I was already depressed, now (in sobriety) I struggle servely with depression. I take Wellbutrin and it doesn't seem to be helping. I am hoping my brain can heal and fix these emotional problems.
 
Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction. They are six week courses. Two hours once a week, with homework and a daylong retreat at the end. They work really, really well at helping people address their chronic conditions, whether chronic pain, cancer, anxiety or depression (among others).

Not a magic bullet by any means, but you will learn a hell of a lot of invaluable skills if you can find one. Basically, particularly when it comes to conditions like substance use disorder and mental illness, they help you learn ways to effectively reduce the stress you experience in your life, regardless of where you're at.

This is very helpful because it is next to impossible to make a rational, evidence based decision in the heat of the moment when you are under a lot of stress or pressure. By teaching you ways of reducing the stress in your life, you can not only improve your decision making ability but you can reduce your levels or pain and anxiety.

Look online for a MBSR program in your area. You can also ask me what I think of it if you find one - some are better than other IME. One of these days I will post an outline of an MBSR course in my MBHR thread, so check it every once in a while for that.
 
It looked interesting but I'm in a small town with nothing close. I don't have anything i need in my life. I'm so empty and I feel like I ruined my mind with drugs. Will I ever get back to normal and happy?
 
If you can only keep plugging away and trying to move forward, you'll get where you want. It may not seem like it now from your perspective, as you are clearly in the thick of it, but this is the bare truth of recovery. You only fail when you stop trying. Eventually you'll get somewhere better than you could even begin to imagine at present. It just takes time. And, frankly, you have the rest of your life. You'll get there, if only you keep trying.
 
copperdome said:
It looked interesting but I'm in a small town with nothing close. I don't have anything i need in my life. I'm so empty and I feel like I ruined my mind with drugs. Will I ever get back to normal and happy?
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Try downloading the free 'mindfulness' app for your phone. Simple and effective daily meditations, I try to do this every night before bed.

Don't stress about ruining your mind -- your brain has an incredible capacity for healing and reorganization.
http://web.stanford.edu/group/hopes/cgi-bin/hopes_test/neuroplasticity/
 
copperdome said:
...
I don't have anything i need in my life. I'm so empty and I feel like I ruined my mind with drugs. Will I ever get back to normal and happy?
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So sorry to hear you're feeling like this. Try to remember that some of the darkness (probably a lot of it) is a natural byproduct of the recovery process. You're learning new ways of thinking and new ways of handling emotions/problems...it will take some time, but as others have noted, our minds are incredibly resilient...as the new habits of thought fall into place, you're very likely to see improvement in your outlook.

But I know first-hand just how brutal the feelings you've described are. (I'm living through them myself.) Sending you all my best.
 
Thank you both very much! I will try meditating I am pretty bad at it though, my thoughts are always racing. I am sorry simco that you are living through them, I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I'm really ashamed that I smoked green, after 3 months completely clean. I can't believe it didn't help my depression a lot.
 
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