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Fletcher68

Greenlighter
Joined
May 7, 2015
Messages
2
Hi Everyone,

It has taken me a long time to drum up the courage to join this site, because i was afraid i would make myself look silly and shameful.......so here goes.

I am a 46 year old male with a history of drug and alcohol abuse, and several overdoses.
Family issues and a run of unfortunate events has led me to a dark place.

I take a host of prescribed medication, as follows:-

Amitriptyline
Duloxetine
tramadol
Morphine patches
Pregabalin
Naproxen
Ramipril
Metaformin
Di-hidracodiene
Paracetamol (as required)

Unfortunately, i had taken (until about 10 months ago) several overdoses of a mixture of some of the above plus co-codamol, codiene, zopiclone, sertraline,morphine,olanzapine...
On one occasion i attempted to, take my own life, but ended up in hospital with a tachycardiac heart and other issues related to the consumption of whiskey. I even took more tablets in the A&E department of our local hospital, before spending some time in the hospital on liver damage medication and other IV medicines.

That was then....my darkest days..

I can at least now talk about things, and i am getting help both medically and from mental health for a depressive disorder.8(

I am seeing more dark days ahead, and hopefully, by joining the forum, i can interact, with other people to share experiences, and maybe learn from others..........hopefully:\
 
I am new as well,Welcome, i would love to here any thoughts you have about tramadol.
 
They make morphine patches?

I have been on the fetnynal patch and I am getting sick of it and I always said if they made a morphine patch I would be all over that.

I am just curious as to what countries you can get a rx for that?
 
Hello

Hello-
This is my 1st post, as I just joined 10 minutes ago.. Just wanted to say I've been there ( the taking my life path) and I'm glad we made it to the other side. Smile and welcome- to both of us :)

=Fletcher68;13032135]Hi Everyone,

It has taken me a long time to drum up the courage to join this site, because i was afraid i would make myself look silly and shameful.......so here goes.

I am a 46 year old male with a history of drug and alcohol abuse, and several overdoses.
Family issues and a run of unfortunate events has led me to a dark place.

I take a host of prescribed medication, as follows:-

Amitriptyline
Duloxetine
tramadol
Morphine patches
Pregabalin
Naproxen
Ramipril
Metaformin
Di-hidracodiene
Paracetamol (as required)

Unfortunately, i had taken (until about 10 months ago) several overdoses of a mixture of some of the above plus co-codamol, codiene, zopiclone, sertraline,morphine,olanzapine...
On one occasion i attempted to, take my own life, but ended up in hospital with a tachycardiac heart and other issues related to the consumption of whiskey. I even took more tablets in the A&E department of our local hospital, before spending some time in the hospital on liver damage medication and other IV medicines.

That was then....my darkest days..

I can at least now talk about things, and i am getting help both medically and from mental health for a depressive disorder.8(

I am seeing more dark days ahead, and hopefully, by joining the forum, i can interact, with other people to share experiences, and maybe learn from others..........hopefully:\[/QUOTE]
 
Thank you all, for the messages of support.

I get the feeling i have done the right thing here.:D

After well over 1 year of specialist mental health therapy, i can pretty much say it has NOT helped me, or certainly does not appear to have helped.
I even joined a recovery group (approx 10 people), but those meetings turned into a kind of 'my problems are worse than yours' events, and i was certainly not interested in 'who can handle the most pills' or 'who has nearly died the most times'.

Anyway, enough of that

Essentially, i have reached a point, after 12 months, where i am drifting back to the pills, and i find myself looking at ways / means of 'zoning' myself out, to a point where i simply experience 'lights out' and a painless smile, to finish myself off.

I am a lucky guy to have 4 lovely daughters, and a caring wife, so why the selfish behavior and rhetoric from myself. ?

I am one sad person to think the way i do, but I DO think and act on dark thoughts, and perhaps, up till now, i haven't really looked at my medication too much, i just throw it all down my throat, and have been for at least 5 years.

So now the questions.....
In this last year, i have lied to my councilors and psychiatrist's, about my condition, why am i doing this ? 8(
Why do i still, stockpile lots of medications, in a secret place.? 8(
Why am i constantly experimenting with pills.? 8(
Is anyone else experiencing these traits or behaviors, any suggestions. ? 8(
 
Welcome brotha. We're all here for each other. To remind us all that we are not alone in this vicious cycle that we've all encountered one too many times. Stay strong brotha.
 
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