Anyone ever had one?
My life situation is going badly, I'm so in denial I can't even talk about the details here and it's not even that big of a deal if I where to say it--I'm going through mundane bad things people go through everyday--but I am unable to cope with everyday life.
I am very numb right now but feel myself teetering over some sort of edge. I'm not one for suicide or suicidal thoughts... high levels of depersonalization and mental breakdown are happening instead, I simply wish I was never born. I am shaking uncontrollably every so often and having ticks, no doubt all psychosomatic. Thinking about giving up and getting drugged up 24/7 but that's just not me. I do drugs only when I'm feeling good, they just make me feel the pain even more if I try to use them for escape.
Instead alternating between just staring off into space and losing myself to madness in catatonia and shaking all over muttering and crying "no, no, no" If things turn completely to shit I just know I won't be able to handle it and I will do this for hours, days, weeks maybe years. It feels like I can barely hold on right now.
Worse I stopped seeing my counselor and doctor two weeks ago (for insurance reasons) and haven't set up an appointment with new ones (there is no correlation the bad things coincidentally happened the very day after I had my last appointment) so I have nowhere to turn.
My life situation is going badly, I'm so in denial I can't even talk about the details here and it's not even that big of a deal if I where to say it--I'm going through mundane bad things people go through everyday--but I am unable to cope with everyday life.
I am very numb right now but feel myself teetering over some sort of edge. I'm not one for suicide or suicidal thoughts... high levels of depersonalization and mental breakdown are happening instead, I simply wish I was never born. I am shaking uncontrollably every so often and having ticks, no doubt all psychosomatic. Thinking about giving up and getting drugged up 24/7 but that's just not me. I do drugs only when I'm feeling good, they just make me feel the pain even more if I try to use them for escape.
Instead alternating between just staring off into space and losing myself to madness in catatonia and shaking all over muttering and crying "no, no, no" If things turn completely to shit I just know I won't be able to handle it and I will do this for hours, days, weeks maybe years. It feels like I can barely hold on right now.
Worse I stopped seeing my counselor and doctor two weeks ago (for insurance reasons) and haven't set up an appointment with new ones (there is no correlation the bad things coincidentally happened the very day after I had my last appointment) so I have nowhere to turn.
