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Need to trigger repressed memories.

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cheekyleopard

Greenlighter
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Dec 14, 2009
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Hi all,

Im new here. :)

Nice to meet you all. Been browsing these forums for a while, seems like a good place.

Well.....my question.

Ive been integrating from a dissociative state for 3 years now - using a therapist and conventional methods.
I have took NooTropics (choline and piracetam mainly) in order to speed this process along, but it still isnt working fast enough.

Im pretty sure LSD or MDMA would work wonders in by-passing ego-defences, and triggering the stuff i know is there - but for a couple of reasons (im in a new town, away from friends - very disconnected) i cant get hold of this stuff, also im very wary of using them. Although i have took both before when i was younger.

Im looking for legal alternatives. Ive bought some LSA seeds ( the 3 types) - but havent yet tried them.

Has anyone got any ideas on any other alternative legal drugs/NooTropics that could help me here apart from the LSA seeds??? Anything that more closely re-sembles real LSD???

Thanks for reading, cheekyleopard.
 
welcome to bluelight and PD

i myself am have really no experience with psychedelics other than mdma but from what i've read LSA is supposedly not that great as a first psychedelic. i've been unable to acquire any psychedelics myself. i plan on looking for RCs maybe you could try the same thing.
 
this is kinda borderline "what should I take" territory.... anyway... What induced the dissociative state, if you don't mind me asking? Also, you're not going to find anything all that similar to LSD that's legal. If you want LSD, there's really no substitute, same goes for MDMA. If you are unable to acquire those, but want a psychedelic or empathogenic experience, there are plenty of things available online, though we can't talk about where to get them here.
 
Hi there,

Any major dude said "What induced the dissociative state, if you don't mind me asking?"
- Childhood trauma.

Taking substances might seem like a sledge-hammer, but in such an extreme situation as mine its what i need to do.

ASquishyApple - I have bought a few research chemicals aswell, and have read that some do have qualitys similar to LSD.
Ive done quite a bit of googling , just wondered if there was something id over-looked.

I recentley bought some Mephedrone, Methylone,Butylone, and MDPV legally online.
:-)

I did read that 2c-i was once legal to buy, but not anymore.
 
i'd stay away from those MDxx drugs you mentioned, they probably will not help you figure out what you're working through

i will personally give a thumbs up for LSA. my experience is with morning glory (heavenly blue variety). keep the dose on the low end, as this stuff affects everybody differently. since your intentions lie in the psychotherapy side of things, i believe they can help you immensely. expect nausea on the come-up, and fight it as long as possible using meditation and soothing tea. when vomiting becomes inevitable, you will feel a strong emotional rush and may get the feeling that negative energy is being purged out of you. after the purge, nausea was completely gone for me, replaced with mild visual enhancement and heavy emotional stimulation.

be sure to have the company of trusted friends for this, as you will need someone to talk to if you are going to actually work through your issues. i know it's possible to perform self-analysis alone on a high dose of LSD or MDMA, but you don't want a high dose of LSA (peripheral toxicity). keep your mind open and the trumpet flowers will show you what you always had inside you. also note that the best mind-journeys are performed in a dark and quiet environment, so be sure your sitters know how to be good spirit guides (no phones, TV, or strong-smelling foods)

as far as i know, 2ci is just as 'legal' as any other RC (only 2cb is scheduled?), but it's not going to be as useful as LSA in terms of emotional healing.
 
Hi greenmeanies,

Thx for your reply. :)

As far as im aware 2ci is illegal, and class A substance.

I will stick to LSA and give it a whirl.

As for morning glory seeds ( i have heavenly blue variety) - how do you remove outer shells?? Or can you just stick in grinder and take the whole lot?? What a good first dosage???
I also have hawian woodrose - heard 5 of them is a gd first dosage, and its easy to peel shells off.

Thanks, CheekyLeopard.
 
To be honest I wouldn't go LSA, just makes you vomit and generally will give you a pretty bad trip. If you're insistent then you should be crushing up the shells and then there is an extraction method somewhere on erowid.org
HBWR's are bettern than Morning Glories but to be honest I wouldn't do LSA. It's just shitty and I doubt it's going to get you to the stage that you're going to want to be at.
 
For your needs mephedrone will be worthless, as will MDPV I suspect. Methylone, however, could work wonders. Personally MDMA snapped me out of major depression a few years ago and methylone is a very similar drug.
 
Blode - Thanks for your opinion man. :)
Morning glory sounds complicated and messy.

Kayenta - I guess Methylone is the closest chemically legal thing to Mdma then?
I just noticed its called BK-MDMA, so its not that much different in structure to the real thing, yet legal?! :)
 
Whats a first dose of Methylone then??
300mg??

And whats likely to be considered a 'normal' dose??

How do you take it??

Sorry for sounding 'noob' , just havent done anything like it before.

CheekyLeopard.
 
Hi B9.

Mdma and LSd were once used to recover repressed memories as part of the whole therapy process.

Dont get me talking about therapy!! Ive been with the most cutting edge Therapists in the UK/the world (on trauma) and even with their knowledge its far too slow a process. :)%)

All medication given out is to dis-connect/supress, dissociating me even more. I want to connect and experience - this is whole point of effective therapy techniques like EMDR ( and some hypnosis techniques). Problem with these techniques is that they often dont by-pass the Ego's defence mechanisms, something substances do without no problem whatsoever!
Ive already had amazing results with Piracetam and choline, i just feel like maybe i need something different for another 'jump start'.

Hope that explains my position. %)

Thanks CheekyLeopard.
 
Yeah clearly - so if you're in therapy & the therapist isn't encouraging you to do this - why do you reckon this might be? If you access these drugs & use em will it be with a therapist present ?
 
Hi B9,


You obviously havent had therapy before.
When you are paying someone £50 - £70 an hour - they are happy to slow the process down, believe me. (And this is something thats very common). They are money grabbers who withold real solutions.

Im currently not in therapy, i left my last T because my progress was so slow - and theres not many so-called experts around.

Im still alive because i 'havent listened' to experts, not because i have.
Which is why i found myself here, as this is my next step in my journey.

I can see why you ask me this question, but im more intrested in your (and other peoples) knowledge of legal alternatives. :)%)

Just to add:- My last T did mention LSD in a very in-direct way, as a being a way of over-stepping obstacles at some point. But being a Doctor he could hardly recommend it - with it being illegal.
 
^ I see - if you're in the UK why not take advantage of the wonderful & free NHS, thy have no reason to spin out your therapy sessions.

Anyway to the point - if you take LSD for the stated purpose without appropriate guidance then you're chancing your arm somewhat - why do you think it will recover repressed memories - your mind is geared to repress - a guide would be a very useful thing if you want to optimise your chances of reaching the intended destination - don't you think ?


can see why you ask me this question, but im more intrested in your (and other peoples) knowledge of legal alternatives
Click to expand...


Alphamethyltryptamine is legal in UK whether it would fulfil your stated goals is hard to say.
 
Hi B9,

NHS! lol, thats a joke.;)

Part of my symptoms are that i physically black out when i first confront new material.

- Ive been to the A&E on many occasions and had evaluations. The shrinks there (all NHS) even say theres no help on the NHS for me, and that no med's will work. You could say i slip through the NHS 'help net' quite effectively.

No such thing as trauma physcotherapy on the NHS.
Theres plenty of 'counsellors' for people on 'downers', but thats a milllion mailes away from my situation.

As for LSD - Its proven to be effective at recovering memories - even my last-T (a trauma specialist) acknowledges this.
Why/how etc etc, i dont know exactually. Something to do with by-passing the ego and going to the un-concious. (Which is where trauma is held).

I will google Alphamethyltryptamine and check it out, thanks man. :)
 
Just googled Alpha-methyltryptamine and seems like although its Legal (as far as wiki says) people are getting busted for having it. 8o

So wouldnt go near that.%)
 
cheekyleopard said:
Whats a first dose of Methylone then??
300mg??

And whats likely to be considered a 'normal' dose??

How do you take it??

Sorry for sounding 'noob' , just havent done anything like it before.

CheekyLeopard.
Click to expand...

300 mg would be much too high, I'd go for 150-175 mg for a first time. And yes, methylone is extremely close chemically to MDMA, it just has one extra oxygen atom in its structure which makes it legal through a fortunate loophole. It's very similar in effects too - it has all the 'magic' of MDMA, it just lasts a little less long and is relaxing instead of stimulating. Certainly the closest legal alternative.
 
I think you're shit out of luck when it comes to adequate effects you describe gotten from legal alternatives. LSA seeds are just more of a spacy sedative, sure some of the effects approximate that of classic psychedelics but hinting to something is unfortunately not as good as the real thing.
It sounds like you are looking for a full release experience, to circumvent your localizing ego-induced individuality to enter the collective and retrieve something that is lost.

Classic psychedelics are best for that, so just keep looking for the most typical ones that are available to you. I'm sure that you know what I mean by classic and typical. That's about it.
We don't tell people what to take here, you need to figure that kind of thing out for yourself, which is why we have reached the end of this thread.

Welcome to Bluelight, you may contact me or my fellows if you need anything but only specific things, too open-ended questions are not what PD is about...
 
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