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Need to stop

P

panhead61

Greenlighter
Joined
May 2, 2016
Messages
26
Hi,

I used for about a year, all I used was 30 mg oxycodone, yet some times like 5 at a time. At the end I used suboxone trying to get off. I don't have any real reason to use, successful, engaged, yet no one at all knows, I don't know how I would tell anyone. But towards the end I chose to take a week off work and went through detox at home, and was clean 2 weeks. For the past two weeks, on Sunday I have been using. Just one but it's enough for me to feel crappy for 2 days or so, not horrible but just crappy. And then the next Sunday I'll do the same. I never use more than that one day.. Yet it restarts over and over...
 
Do you have any support at all? You dont necessarily need formal treatment to get some momentum in recovery going, but no one can do it alone. We are social animals after all, probably the most social of animals. Do you have a therapist you can be open with and talk to confidentially about your struggles? If not light a fire under your ass and get one. Either than or work on seeking out help IRL, in terms of a support group like NA, Smart Recovey or Refuge Recovery - something that has a bunch of people who can relate to your struggle, a group that is compassionate about what youre going through. It isnt easy, as you so very well know!
 
None at all, no one knows at all, and have aways been worried to seek professional help. I'm an executive in a manufacturing company, and was aways worried someone would find out since everyone in community knows me. So I kept absolutely everything to myself.
 
A therapist is right up your alley then. Do you have insurance? They are legally bound to confidentiality, and you could easily sue then for a lot of money if they did something unethical.
 
Thanks for the advice! I made an appointment, also made it passed the weekend without using, mowed my yard about 10 times to keep me busy lol
 
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