Need Real Advice: New Medications - Scared and could use some real Input

[Trying2Smile]

Hello, I hope I can talk to anyone on this website that really can give me an honest answer - it can be good or bad, I'd rather have the honest truth even if it hurts rather than a doctor who may just be giving me things that I just assume are okay because "he says it is."

I have been on medication sense I was 14 years old - and I'm 25 years old now! My parents believing I'm bipolar, manic, depressed, ADD, ADHD, omg,....I swear they should have just labeled me psycho - It would have been alot easier.

So at this point - ADD/ADHD - BPD also <---Borderline Personality Disorder sounds to me from research about the best fit! Yea, I've slit my arms when I was younger, and still at 25 have those explosive times where I will just do a crazy cut and 10 minutes later cry cause it's gonna be another scar to lie about being in some car accident to the more gullible who ask.. . But, in fact, I will let you know I don't have anyone to talk about this - I have my boyfriend...Who doesn't exactly have any interest nor believe in medication what so ever....and me with my fake smile and popping my pills to get through law school (Which I assume will take the next...hmmm...with me the next 10 years if I live that long!)

So to stop the rambling on...Which is pretty much all I can do...Is ask for help from people who do have knowledge about medications. I'm of course scared of the wrong combo....Seriously...I guess not scared of dying - more scared of dying now and not leaving anything behind to be known for except a psycho that couldn't accomplish anything. :/ ....Ha...That was my quick "I feel and don't feel sorry for my self ramble!"

Here is the basics about me - (For the purpose of it being okay for my body I guess...Oh what the hell..)

Right now - I'm 25, 105 lb, 5'2" Female, and drink about 5-6 cups of Black Tea/Coffee a day and an occasional Monster in the largest size available.

Adderall IR 40mg (2 20mg tabs in the morning/afternoon) and if I'm working or at school another Adderall IR 40mg in the early evening

Xanax 1mg regular and Xanax 1mg Dissovable - I take 1mg a little while after the adderall - 1mg in the later day - and at night..well it's come to 3mg sometimes to even 5mg late late (say 3am..TO JUST SLEEP FROM STARING AT THE WALLS!)

Seroquel (25mg?) I don't have the bottle right here, it's the low dose, but sometimes I'll take 1 or 2 if I can't sleep at all and take instead of the Xanax..

Well here's the Change - Newly Prescribed because I'm exhausted on the Adderall, it's just needed for my body I could say - but does nothing because I'm taking so much...Just hit the limit that it does nothing..

I haven't taken these yet...Need advice...Reallly..I don't know who to ask because after looking online and nobody to really talk to but a dr. who says it's okay...I just want to know if you think it's okay...

Desoxyn 5mg - 1 in the morning - 1 later in the day before school

Prozac (Ugh...whats the dose..haven't tried it yet...) - Filled it - But low dose to start (NEVER EVEN TRIED THIS MEDICATION..) but my panic attacks are getting old...let's say after 10-15 visits to the ER for panic attacks this year get old...

Xanax 1mg regular and Dissovable...

What's everyone's input?

I want to add...I have had 6 seizures this year...My neurologist diagnosed me with Pseudutomor Cerebri - and I was taking Topamax, Diamox, blah blah the list..stopped them all...I don't care about the Pseudutumor Cerebri...I honestly don't see it as being the worst condition..(Or I'll regret this statement some day.)

Would appreciate your input...But anxiety, tiredness, mind that can't focus, crazy schedule (law firm all day working under attorneys that look down on me..) and then law school at night - ER visits, blah blah...

Yea...My life is crazy and I don't feel sorry for myself - just want to manage without feeling to alone right now...

Thank you for any advice - but are these new meds going to be okay for me?

 

[RobotRipping]

prozac won't do a thing for panic attacks; that's why you have xanax.

you do know amphetamines increase anxiety and panic attacks right? You need more downers to balance out all those stims you are taking but this is just destructive and a mess. You're gonna end up crashing hard from this sooner or later.

I'd cut down on the stimulants, perhaps take more xanax and cut out the caffeine, you are running yourself like a machine but your body isn't going to keep up with that for very long.

seroquel will help you sleep for sure, it's great for that if nothing else. Prozac wont do shit. desoxyn has less side effects than adderall/dex/ritalin so it's not a bad med to be on. Lots of people manage well with it, but you are on way too many stims as it is. Just cut them out and use desoxyn and xanax as needed for panic attacks. Really you should see your Dr about this, or another Dr perhaps because this medication regime is fucked to say the least.

 

[Trying2Smile]

prozac won't do a thing for panic attacks; that's why you have xanax.

you do know amphetamines increase anxiety and panic attacks right? You need more downers to balance out all those stims you are taking but this is just destructive and a mess. You're gonna end up crashing hard from this sooner or later.

I'd cut down on the stimulants, perhaps take more xanax and cut out the caffeine, you are running yourself like a machine but your body isn't going to keep up with that for very long.

seroquel will help you sleep for sure, it's great for that if nothing else. Prozac wont do shit. desoxyn has less side effects than adderall/dex/ritalin so it's not a bad med to be on. Lots of people manage well with it, but you are on way too many stims as it is. Just cut them out and use desoxyn and xanax as needed for panic attacks. Really you should see your Dr about this, or another Dr perhaps because this medication regime is fucked to say the least.

I do appreciate the advice...I'm really such a person that is soooo tired all the time...but I don't trust my advice...It usually is full of counteracting arguments that switch back in forth in my head :/

The Desoxyn...It really does show great reviews - But will it be safe for someone like me? Ugh..I just am so over the Weight seems low (Even though I look like a mess at any weight!) But curious - does the weight of a person or sex matter when it comes to this medication? Honestly the anxiety - that's fine - I can deal with it...But I just am so needing to focus and be alert......the xanax seems like I just go one by one by one and the tolerances build up....

I am not the most intelligent person alive - Probably stupidity is more of a great label for me - but trying to work and go to school and the fear of seizures - I mean my god...my head is like what to do. I've seen doctor after doctor...and they all have something else to say...

I wanted to ask from people who I can I guess trust in other words...maybe experience and their real input...I need to be able to get up and do things...I lay in bed...tired...take my current meds...nothing...

So Desoxyn...safe for me...It's like I stare at the bottle...hmmm...Is it going to help? <Fear from ugly Google!!!> lol...

But you do sound very kind to give me your input and advice...So prozac is a no go...I know back in the days with Lithium (liquid) was a lovely 30lb increase...yea....very great when I looked like a hippo or 'Gubblu' to my boyfriend... :S

Thanks so much.

 

[casperLOL]

hmm i'm no sphychiatrist so the only thing i can say is find one that is reputable and stick with him/her.... medications can be tricky not only in terms of the different ones put together but also how your body is reacting to each one in that is it doing what it is supposed to be doing... also a good doctor will explain every medication he/she has put you on and what it does.....they are there to help you so you should feel free to bombard them with a whole bunch of questions until you feel satisfied with the answers.....in saying that though it does suck when u see different doctors and they all say different things it can be extremely confusing.....i guess ring around or talk to people with the same diagnosies, see how they are going and what doc they see. i know someone who is bipolar and is on only two things but they are not add/adhd....i really can't help......you say you don't have anyone to talk to abotu this stuff....if you can't talk to you spych...see a counsellor....i was labbelled everything under the sun when i was a teenager (you would not believe the disorders they said i had lol) but well im 30 and not on anything/ just finnished a degree etc.....so definately find a counsellor....maybe he/she will know of a good spych to send you to for the medication.....i think everyone should have a counsellor lol ETA i dont think i know how to spell psych lol

 

[Trying2Smile]

hmm i'm no sphychiatrist so the only thing i can say is find one that is reputable and stick with him/her.... medications can be tricky not only in terms of the different ones put together but also how your body is reacting to each one in that is it doing what it is supposed to be doing... also a good doctor will explain every medication he/she has put you on and what it does.....they are there to help you so you should feel free to bombard them with a whole bunch of questions until you feel satisfied with the answers.....in saying that though it does suck when u see different doctors and they all say different things it can be extremely confusing.....i guess ring around or talk to people with the same diagnosies, see how they are going and what doc they see. i know someone who is bipolar and is on only two things but they are not add/adhd....i really can't help......you say you don't have anyone to talk to abotu this stuff....if you can't talk to you spych...see a counsellor....i was labbelled everything under the sun when i was a teenager (you would not believe the disorders they said i had lol) but well im 30 and not on anything/ just finnished a degree etc.....so definately find a counsellor....maybe he/she will know of a good spych to send you to for the medication.....i think everyone should have a counsellor lol ETA i dont think i know how to spell psych lol

Thank you Casper, and congrats on your degree - that's something to be proud of for the rest of your life! I'll will of course look into talking with counselors, but I'm sure it's done to the point of EVERYTHING I've been on over year and year and year....I've tried everything - labeled everything also.

I know I need to concentrate - because my mind is always in overdrive - which can be good if I'm actually able to focus on one thing at a time and not suddenly give up and move on to the next....erg...always one of my falls...but I'm just concerned... he's telling me to take this because they can help...

Desoxyn did come out great with Patient reviews...but there are so many studies that just make it seem dangerous then....

Xanax...helps...but I see it as I get some immune to it..the tolerance...I don't want to keep taking them that it's just like ---whooaa...did I take that many to rest?

I believe I'm probably just a drama queen, selfish, up and down...but BPD mixed with ADHD seems right...and Panic Attacks - well that's probably from being just plain freaked out me mixed with my stress.

I don't know...I take people that are more knowledgeable about medications because they've actually tried them - rather than someone who has researched - because we can all research also without charging each other anything but their personal advice...

 

[pasha]

Are you sure your psychiatrist knows your taking desoxyn while you have a seizure disorder. Dropping your seizure medications on desoxyn is a terrible idea. Desoxyn, seroquel, and prozac can heavily aggravate seizures especially if you have a pre-existing condition. Everything your taking apart from the Xanax is outright dangerous.

I highly recommend you discuss this with your doctor.

 

[Psychedelic Jay]

I highly recommend you go to another doctor...

You are on way too much shit.

Some of your disorders can be from the medication itself...

 

[RobotRipping]

i think most of the issues are caused by the medications themselves, i'd really just try the desoxyn out and stop taking any other stimulant and just use xanax as needed. If you can't focus with desoxyn then you either need to speak to a psych or change your life around. I know you are in a high stress environment which requires a ton of focus and energy but you need to be driven to do naturally not artificially, if you really enjoy what you are doing you won't need a shit ton of stimulants to stay on task. At least that's my experience.

 

[Swimmingdancer]

^Yeah, I agree.

I'd definitely try to greatly reduce your caffeine consumption and keep your other stimulant drug doses as low as possible - like just take enough in order to be able to function but not more than needed or enough to have too many side effects. And don't take stimulants too late in the day! The Desoxyn may have less side effects for some people than Adderall. It may be more addictive for some (partly for that reason) so try to be very conscious of how much you take. If you reduce your stimulant use you may be able to reduce your benzo use, because part of the reason you use benzos is probably for the side effects of the stimulants. Honestly if it were me I would look for a new really good doctor, who is more focussed on long-term healing (helping you become able to function with minimal drugs, ideally using non-drug therapies, counselling, supplements, "alternative" medicine, lifestyle changes, etc in addition to the drugs) than just throwing a bunch of strong drugs at you. Prozac is not something I would want to take, especially in combination with the other drugs. In fact Prozac + Desoxyn sounds like it could be a bad combo.

 

[mrflowers00]

i would lower the stimulant doses that shit can make you go nuts

 

[Jabberwocky]

well wow. i don't understand how you were prescribed all of this stuff considering you have a history of seizures. especially the desoxyn and prozac? both of these drugs LOWER the seizure threshold to start with. the adderall too. this is a crazy combinations of medication and i have no idea why you're being prescribed it all. does your p-doc know about your condition and history of seizures? drinking excess amounts of caffeine ONTOP of all of this.... i mean its no wonder you had so many seizures.

if you don't think it's a serious condition, you're so severely mistaken and i mean this out of the depths of my heart. IF the previous seizures haven't caused lasting brain damage, the next one might. you could end up a vegetable, lose any one of your senses or even die. have you considered that possibility?

i really suggest you switch your doctors. the meds you're on make absolutely no sense, and in fact you're putting yourself in a lot of danger mixing this crap with one another.

i take dexamphetamine daily, 40mg, and i used to take zolpidem in the evening to help me sleep. i then started abusing my dexedrine script because i was drowsy in the morning, i became tolerant to zolpidem and i started taking more and more to sleep. it got to the point where i was taking 150mg of dexedrine during the day and i'd moved onto opiates and 5-10mg of xanax a night to get me to sleep.

frankly you shouldn't be on alprazolam. you should be taking diazepam or clonazepam at least for their anti-seizure uses. it's all just baffling me frankly that you're on these meds.

 

[Trying2Smile]

Well thank you all for the reply's left. You are all really kind for giving me real opinions and sticking the truth to me. I can say I will always trying to take everything into consideration. The seizures - well he said psedutomor Cerebri possibly caused it - but it could have been the meds...but Honest to God I am just lost in a cycle of medications that I have no idea where to go...new doctors are always going to be a new start - and feeling the side effects of what I'm not sure of what is causing it - scary...Really - I'm pretty much a coward mixed with being very stupid and stubborn. I honestly don't now what direction to go in, I don't know where to start or where to even stop?

Damn...I do sound like a rambling mess...Apologies..

I haven't picked up the Desoxyn yet - Trying to see why insurance wants me to cover the entire thing...But maybe it's worth the price if It's going to help - Or possible kill me???? Ugh..wth right?

Sitting here at 4:30 in the morning with my hookah and popping my anxiety medicine hoping to figure a direction to go in.

You all are so much stronger and smarter than I am right now...

I'll ramble later I wish my best to you all and thanks for the comments.

 

[jmd7725]

NEVER EVER SWITCH TO AMPHETAMINE NOR ANY SSRI WITHOUT SERIOUS DISCUSSION....I almost failed out of school because of that, if a med does not work TELL THEM! I was scared to tell my doc. and I ended up in shitttttttttttt!

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hey pal we've mostly all been there in terms of addiction or problems. It's good that you've come somewhere for some advise or perhaps that you've realised you have a problem. You're strong yourself in noticing it and getting it out in the open where people can advise you and try to help you in the best way we can.

I think you need to be on anti-seizure medication, considering your past with them it's definitely (in my opinion) what you should be focused on. Definitely staying completely away from all SSRIs and amphetamines that's for sure. In no circumstances should you pick up that prescription for desoxyn, it may and could kill you very easily. Please take my advise and stay away from it. Secondly, you should get to another doctor as soon as you can. See what he/she suggests and get back to us again. Although we're not medial experts - it's not hard to tell that the doctor that has you on your current medication clearly has no idea what he's doing.

Are you currently in some kind of therapy, CBT, psychotherapy or even just a person you can sit down and talk to about your problems open and freely? I think that it would do you a world of good - I know it helped me immensely and still does through my rough patches.

Please - I can't stress this enough. Do not pick up your desoxyn script. Rip it up and throw it in the bin. It may ultimately save your life.

Does your psyciatrist/doctor know about your past of self harm? I think you need to be more openly honest and truthful to these people. And you really should stick to your anti-seizure medication.

Getting off all the meds in reality will most likely be the best long term solution. Is there any medication in particular that you have found effective at treating your symptoms? (From your viewpoint- not the doctors) if so, why and how did you feel it change you? Did your quality of life improve? If so then medication may be a feasible option for treatment.

I wish you the best of luck - and please get back to us. We're all here to help.