Benzos Need help. I'm addicted to alprazolam

[556m4]

I am currently addicted to alprazolam, I take 2mg a day. Here is my situation I started taking alprazolam everyday since november of 2009 because I was having problems sleeping and it worked great at knocking me out I was taking .5 mg a night to sleep, so stupid i know.

I continued taking that dose for about six months until I started noticing withdrawl symptoms about 18 hours after my last dose. I began taking .25 mg in the afternoon and .50 at bedtime. So now i'm up to 2mg a day, 1mg morning and 1mg at night.

I am fully aware of the dangers of doing what i'm doing I'm just tired of living in this cycle, my emotions are blunted and I can tell a difference in my cognitive ability and memory. I have only been using 2mg a day for the past 4 months due to problems in my family where I was under a lot of stress with work and the death of a close family member, which is no excuse.

Previous to that I was taking .50 morning and .50 at night. I have tried to direct taper everyway I know how, except water titration but I just cant do it. I am fully aware of all the benzo sites out there and have read the Ashton manual a couple of times. I just can't seem to reduce my dosage. I don't have a prescription for them I acquire them from other sources which are reliable.

I don't have health insurance and am afraid of going to a doctor because I don't know what they would say or if they would help me out. I just want to get off without going cold turkey. I honestly don't take them for any kind of high or anything just to keep the withdrawls at bay.

I wonder if I went to a doctor and told them my story would they believe me? I need opinions suggestions some kind of direction, I can't take time off work. I just want to get off this I'm tired of being chained to the pills. Your replies and suggestions are much appreciated I am fully aware of what I've gotten myself into so please no insults I just need some kind of direction like what kind of doctor to go and see I haven't been to a primary care doctor for at least 10 years so I don't have one. I'am in good health in my early 30's and have always been in pretty good physical health and shape. Again your suggestions and replies are appreciated -556m4

 

[HaZeX]

I would suggest seeing a dr. Most likely you would be put on Diazepam as it has a longer half-life than alpraz.

However if you can get the correct mind set, dropping your dose .5mg every week, all the down to 125mcg, then jump off would be a adequate taper....You just have to deal with PAWS then, which is all mental.

DO NOT stop cold turkey, if you do there is a seizure risk.

 

[Coraline]

^ I could agree more. I would see dr and tell him your situation and what you want to do, get off Xanax. He will help you with a taper plan and help you. You can do it on your own as well. Please visit the dark side of you need support emotionally or just a friendly ear. They are awesome people who can help you with your stressors.

 

[mrflowers00]

any good doctor would help you out

 

[556m4]

Thank you for the replies should I just go to a general practitioner an addiction medicine specialist, or a psychologist ??? Your replies are much appreciated.

 

[ajabaday]

Please try kicking heroin. benzos aint shit. go to detox they give you a bezo-like meds that will help with the withdrawals. your not on a high amount so i cant imagine that you would have any seizures, which happen to people who really over do that shit. Also there are tons of doctors that would help you out. you just have to find the right one. good luck buddy take care of it now while its still possible.

 

[bronson]

^ Correct me if I'm wrong but the above makes zero sense in relation to the OPs question.

In my opinion I think a psychiatrist would be most understanding to your situation. And also very sound advise given by others when they say Valium (Diazepam) is a good choice for a tapper.

Best of luck and keep us informed on how you are doing.

 

[tricomb]

Thank you for the replies should I just go to a general practitioner an addiction medicine specialist, or a psychologist ??? Your replies are much appreciated.

Hey there, I can help you with this, but it involves you speaking with a doctor. Just make an appointment, any physician will do, a GP is fine, NOT AN ADDICTION SPECIALIST (Just because you're trying to quit doesn't make you an addict, if you're not abusing your medication do not see an addiction doc), you can even just walk into the ER. I would recommend you call and make an appointment with Urgent Care, they'll know what that means, tell them that you would like assistance discontinuing your medication by slowly tapering off, switching first to diazepam.

2mg alprazolam is equipotent/equal to 40mg diazepam, so that's what you want to make sure the doctor writes the prescription for. Be very clear to the doctor that the taper is to be completed at your own pace, this is not something that should be accomplished in 30 days
What you're going to want to try first is tapering your medication down very slowly. The slower you taper, the better and easier it will be to discontinue the medication and also, in my experience, refrain from relapsing ever again in the future.

Then usually every two weeks you can drop 5mg, so it will take you about 8 weeks minimum to complete this taper. Sometimes the patient experiences more difficultly as they reach the lower doses, and then the taper should be extended gradually per the patients comfort.

 

[556m4]

ajabaday;"Please try kicking heroin. benzos aint shit. go to detox they give you a bezo-like meds that will help with the withdrawals. your not on a high amount so i cant imagine that you would have any seizures, which happen to people who really over do that shit. Also there are tons of doctors that would help you out. you just have to find the right one. good luck buddy take care of it now while its still possible."

I kicked a 260mg a day habit of oxycodone in the past, after taking them for a considerable amount of time. I would rather do this ten times over than to try and detox cold turkey off the amount of alprazolam I am on. If I could somehow magically switch my benzo addiction for a heroin addiction I would do it in a heartbeat.

Ask anyone who has detoxed off benzodiazepines and heroin which was worse. I'm not a pussy, but you evidently have no idea what you are talking about, 2mg is not a small dose.

 

[HaZeX]

ajabaday;"Please try kicking heroin. benzos aint shit. go to detox they give you a bezo-like meds that will help with the withdrawals. your not on a high amount so i cant imagine that you would have any seizures, which happen to people who really over do that shit. Also there are tons of doctors that would help you out. you just have to find the right one. good luck buddy take care of it now while its still possible."

I kicked a 260mg a day habit of oxycodone in the past, after taking them for a considerable amount of time. I would rather do this ten times over than to try and detox cold turkey off the amount of alprazolam I am on. If I could somehow magically switch my benzo addiction for a heroin addiction I would do it in a heartbeat.

Ask anyone who has detoxed off benzodiazepines and heroin which was worse. I'm not a pussy, but you evidently have no idea what you are talking about, 2mg is not a small dose.

Opiate withdrawal won't put your life in danger; unlike bezno withdrawal. Considering alprazolam is active in micrograms, it would still help in small doses therapeutically.

As Tri stated, your GP is probably your best bet, take it nice and slow; taper the diazepam to 2.5mg (125mcg alprazolam), that's the jump off point.

Good luck, keep us updated. We are always happy to help.

 

[shreddedlettuce]

Ignore ajabaday.
Take Tricomb's advice and speak to a GP.
All the best and good luck.

 

[Znegative]

I agree with Tricomb as well. You want to get on an equipotent dose of a long acting benzo, Diazepam being possibly the longest (with a range of 40-100 hours). Clonazepam is also another option, with a half life of 30-40 hours. Either way it's much easier to taper with long acting drugs, they leave your system slower and with a proper taper you can achieve freedom from Xanax, the key is to take your time. Don't try and detox yourself in two weeks, because you'll be back on them in no time, regardless of whether you want to or not. Luckily, 2mg of alprazolam is not a huge habit. This is definately possible.

 

[556m4]

Thank you to everybody for the replies. I'm going to make an appoint with a Gp in my area tomorrow. My only concern is the doctor labeling me as a drug addict and it just being a waste of money and time.
I would just like to try and do a really slow taper and not transfer over to a long acting benzo because I have tried clonazepam in my past and had a strange reaction to it. I think if I switched over to diazepam I would still have withdrawl symptoms from the alprazolam, and it would extend the taper making it more painful. I really wish I had never even started taking alprazolam to the point of physical addiction.
I'm willing to try anything at this point and I really appreciate everyone's input on this situation. I will try to keep a diary or something and keep everyone posted on my situation. Thanks again -556m4

 

[Skeeef]

Honestly at that dose you could just quit cold turkey or taper down with whatever you have left and quit. Some people like to just get the WDs over with and move on. Its definitely not going to be easy man but you can do it! (get weed)

 

[Tussmann]

An NMDA antagonist -- memantine in particular -- has given people excellent results for the excitation rebounds of BZ withdrawals. I take 40 mg of memantine a day and have had klonopin habits as high as 1.5 mg a day for weeks upon weeks, as well as 1-2 mg bouts with alprazolam and have never suffered immense withdrawal when cold turkeying.

From what I understand, memantine has the ability to not only stop the rebound, but upregulate GABA recetors simultaneously. The most I've ever needed was the occasional beer and/or 1-2 grams of phenibut to ward off some sleep issues.

 

[Swimmingdancer]

Some people are much more sensitive to physical dependence and withdrawal symptoms than others. And dependence has less to do with how much drug you take and more to do with how long you have been taking it (and how often). Comparing the withdrawal to other drugs is pointless, as it is going to be different for everyone and it doesn't help the OP. Benzo withdrawal is real, difficult and dangerous. Telling the OP to just quit cold turkey or try kicking heroin is not helpful.

OP, when you said you have tried tapering but couldn't do it, what exactly did you try and why did you feel you couldn't do it? Was it because the withdrawal symptoms were too bad, or was it just mentally too difficult? We could help you come up with a good taper schedule if you like.

 

[Trigeminal]

ajabaday;"Please try kicking heroin. benzos aint shit. go to detox they give you a bezo-like meds that will help with the withdrawals. your not on a high amount so i cant imagine that you would have any seizures, which happen to people who really over do that shit. Also there are tons of doctors that would help you out. you just have to find the right one. good luck buddy take care of it now while its still possible."

I kicked a 260mg a day habit of oxycodone in the past, after taking them for a considerable amount of time. I would rather do this ten times over than to try and detox cold turkey off the amount of alprazolam I am on. If I could somehow magically switch my benzo addiction for a heroin addiction I would do it in a heartbeat.

Ask anyone who has detoxed off benzodiazepines and heroin which was worse. I'm not a pussy, but you evidently have no idea what you are talking about, 2mg is not a small dose.

Ignore that idiot. Not sure what his post was besides some misguided attempt at a dick measuring contest, but you are correct, benzos are NOT easier to kick than opiates. In my opinion they are much harder. 2 mg per day alprazolam is not a small dose.

As you mentioned you read the Ashton manual, you will have a much easier time switching to a long acting benzo and slowly tapering. Direct taper off alprazolam will be very difficult.

 

[anonymousjoe]

HaZeX obviously knows nothing about benzo withdraw. Alcohol withdraw CAN kill you, Benzo withdraw, by itself won't kill you, but you can go into a seizure which can kill you. It's my understanding that opiate withdraw only makes you wish you were dead. Cold turkey is dangerous, if you're going to go at it cold turkey, make sure it's under close medical supervision.

 

[556m4]

Swimmingdancer "Some people are much more sensitive to physical dependence and withdrawal symptoms than others. And dependence has less to do with how much drug you take and more to do with how long you have been taking it (and how often). Comparing the withdrawal to other drugs is pointless, as it is going to be different for everyone and it doesn't help the OP. Benzo withdrawal is real, difficult and dangerous. Telling the OP to just quit cold turkey or try kicking heroin is not helpful.

OP, when you said you have tried tapering but couldn't do it, what exactly did you try and why did you feel you couldn't do it? Was it because the withdrawal symptoms were too bad, or was it just mentally too difficult? We could help you come up with a good taper schedule if you like."

It's not that that the withdrawl symptoms were to bad. I tried tapering at a very stressful time in my life having to deal with working like 50-60 hours a week at a very stressful job and helping my mother deal with the death of her sister, which was extremely hard on her along with health problems on her part. I had to watch my aunt die of malignant melanoma which destroyed my mother. It brought up memories and nightmares of me watching my father die slow when I was young of cancer on top of some other issues in my life.
I'm a very introverted personal person and nobody around me close friends or family have no idea what's going on with the drugs. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm a pretty strong individual but my pride is always kept me from asking for help from anybody, and I would never ask help from anybody close to me for something that I did to my self.
I'm going to see a doctor and hopefully I can find a compassionate knowledgeable doctor to help me. I also didn't want to be labeled a "drug addict" due to my career or stigma from family, it's just something that I don't need or want in my life. As most of you know drug addiction isn't very well understood by most people who haven't been there, especially benzo addiction.
I have some friends, family and acquaintances who are doctors and health care professionals and they don't understand addiction they are all pretty much closed minded and arrogant when it comes to the subject of drugs, and addiction. I don't think anybody can truly understand addiction unless they have been there, this is why I have always been weary of doctors not to mention most of them have huge egos. I'm going to try and see how far I can push myself and try to taper starting now very slowly. I'am going to still going to see a doctor when I can find the time.
Everyone's replies are very much appreciated and any advice I receive on here is not taken in vain. I appreciate everyone taking the time to reply to this.

 

[Swimmingdancer]

It's not that that the withdrawl symptoms were to bad. I tried tapering at a very stressful time in my life having to deal with working like 50-60 hours a week at a very stressful job and helping my mother deal with the death of her sister, which was extremely hard on her along with health problems on her part. I had to watch my aunt die of malignant melanoma which destroyed my mother. It brought up memories and nightmares of me watching my father die slow when I was young of cancer on top of some other issues in my life.

Yeah I hear that, the mental stuff is the hardest part and it certainly makes it a lot harder to quit when you have so many other stressful/upsetting things going on. Unfortunately there's never a perfect time to quit though. Part of being successful in quitting is learning how to deal with all the stressful/upsetting things in life. You have to just keep trying. Not succeeding at tapering in the past does not mean you can't do it. But it is definitely hard to force yourself to taper on your own.

I'm a very introverted personal person and nobody around me close friends or family have no idea what's going on with the drugs. I'm not looking for sympathy, I'm a pretty strong individual but my pride is always kept me from asking for help from anybody, and I would never ask help from anybody close to me for something that I did to my self.

Don't blame yourself, you were doing the best you could at the time. You can take responsibility for changing the future, but it is counter-productive and harmful to blame yourself or feel guilty or undeserving of help.

I'm going to see a doctor and hopefully I can find a compassionate knowledgeable doctor to help me. I also didn't want to be labeled a "drug addict" due to my career or stigma from family, it's just something that I don't need or want in my life. As most of you know drug addiction isn't very well understood by most people who haven't been there, especially benzo addiction.
I have some friends, family and acquaintances who are doctors and health care professionals and they don't understand addiction they are all pretty much closed minded and arrogant when it comes to the subject of drugs, and addiction. I don't think anybody can truly understand addiction unless they have been there, this is why I have always been weary of doctors not to mention most of them have huge egos. I'm going to try and see how far I can push myself and try to taper starting now very slowly. I'am going to still going to see a doctor when I can find the time.
Everyone's replies are very much appreciated and any advice I receive on here is not taken in vain. I appreciate everyone taking the time to reply to this.

Are you prescribed the alprazolam? If so, you could just tell them you want to get off it and you are having trouble doing it on your own. No need to bring up "addiction". Get some support somewhere with the mental stuff though, whether it's books, meetings, therapy, whatever.

Feel free to come here for support any time. I know how hard it can be when you don't have anyone in your life who understands.