need help had 10 years and gave it away

[Ce2700]

Well I'm an idiot had almost 11 years clean and sober and last year the weekend before Christmas I decided to pickup again. I managed for a while just smoking and drinking unfortunately now I find myself with a daily opiate habit and xannax that I'm battling with.

I really need help I am trying to wein myself from the Roxy I don't really know how many I was taking daily I know yesterday I took 4.5 30s
And didn't feel great at times. Today I've only taken 3 so far and have basically felt like crap most of the day.

I've taken 1 every 6 hours and after about 4 hours I start hurting (body aches) and getting hot and cold chills\sweets

I was fortunate to obtain allot of things (responsibility during sobriety) I own a thriving company with employees so going cold turkey is basically impossible at the moment. I really don't know what to do or how to handle this as I've never been physically addicted to anything before. I got clean and sober at age 23 for over 10 years and was basically a garbage head as a kid (anything and everything) but this is entirely new and I don't know how to manage this or tapper and further more many people done even know I've relapse I've told no one. I don't know what to do I want my old life back and I don't know the best way to get there please help.

Thanks

 

[CfZrx]

You can kick this nasty habit, just go slow and consider buprenorphine if it helps u save your business imho

 

[Ce2700]

How do I tapper properly find a place where I'm comfortable mostly and drop from there or do like I did today and suffer threw the day?

I don't know much about bupe. Seems like that could be worse in the long run. I just don't know how to do this. If it better dosing a half every 3 hours and maybe I won't feel so bad watching the clock for that 6 hour mark? How do I know how quickly to lower dosage? I have so many questions and so much to lose. I really need advise help please

 

[P0kemama]

Welcome to Bluelight, Ce. Your post reminds me so much of my own experiences with drugs and alcohol. I had over 10 years of being 1OO% clean and sober, doc being cocaine/alcohol. After a car accident, I became hooked on prescribed opiates. I did manage to go cold turkey in 2013 and had over one year clean, but went back into pain management and now am using opiates much more responsibly, although I would like to eventually get clean again.
Stick around Bluelight and read... the threads under the forum "other drugs" as well as here on Sober Living have a lot of information regarding stopping opiates. You may be able to taper... I have tapered several times during the past year... I was able to get down to 30 mgs of oxycodone per day, usually split into two doses. I also had responsibilities that required I have energy and be able to function. It is possible, but rare, to read of people tapering down until they "jump off" and get completely clean.
I recommend you keep a journal or log exactly how much you are taking each day, and when... that way you can track your decreasing dosages. Also, do not taper too quickly.... I found the most helpful was to decrease my dosage after holding steady for 2 weeks. There are differing opinions here on BL on how much to decrease your dosage by. I found that we are all unique and our body chemistry and life stressors are all different. Try 10-25% decreases at first, and then closer to 10 at the end. These are percentages, not mg's. If you need to be functional, cold turkey will put you out of commission for at least 10 days, maybe longer, as was my experience. So, don't hurry, but you must exercise strict self discipline and self control. Good luck!!

 

[Ce2700]

Thanks for the replies so far. This is truly uncharted territory for me. I don't know what to do. I can't afford to not be on my a game for my business and employees sake and at the same time I can't imagine continuing down the path I'm on. I really need opinions on how to tapper properly assuming my will power allows.

And yes I was 100 percent clean and sober for that 10 years and started using recreationally again after a hard break up (guilt remorse) crept back into my life I cheated on my wife with a new born and ruined my marriage while sober. Dry drunk wasn't going to meetings the last year

I want this just not sure how to get there

 

[bdomihizayka]

Check out this link

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11476266?ordinalpos=1&itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_SingleItemSupl.Pubmed_Discovery_RA&linkpos=1&log$=relatedarticles&logdbfrom=pubmed

You can have a relatively pain-free detox from a single dose of bupe. I have done this many times and it always has worked for me like a charm. You won't avoid "everything" of course- no free lunch- BUT you will avoid the debilitating parts of the withdrawal and should have no problems "funtioning" in your day-to-day life's activities. Basically after the sigle dose of bupe, you will have low energy and depression, a little bit hard time sleeping, some post-acute symptoms basically- but it's 100000x's better than full blown withdrawal where you absolutely cannot function.

 

[Ce2700]

Suboxone help

merged thread (crimsonjunk)

I've decided to try suboxone to get off the Roxy.
I need advise and help this is all uncharted territory for me.

Currently I'm taking 120\135 mg oxy a day. I have 900 mg on hand that I'm trying to tapper from my current dose. After some reading and advise from someone I personally know I've come to the realization that cold turkey can't work for me right now due to running a successful company where I'm needed daily.

I grabbed 4 8mg suboxone today. My buddy thinks I should try and taper for a week and then jump off with the sub?

How would experienced people recommend this work. I have to be out of town this weekend so my plan was to tapper from now until next Friday then take my last dose maybe 8pm or 9 Friday night wake up and take half a sub maybe take the other half http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/772263-need-help-had-10-years-and-gave-it-away if needed for a couple days then split into quarters and taper suboxone down to a quarter for a week then jump off?

I really really need help I need to do this but I want to be safe and not make matters worse in the process. Please advise is greatly needed. I'm also taking 2mg xannax a night for roughly a month now which I plan to get off of next.

Again advise is greatly needed. Thanks in advance

 

[cj]

I think that a quick sub taper is a rational choice. You are on a substantial amount of oxy but luckily it sounds like you haven't been on this run for too terribly long. I like the idea of tapering the oxy as much as possible before jumping to the sub. It will lower the chances of you accidently ending up in precipitated withdrawal. The sub induction process is pretty strait forward. Wait at least 24 hours from last dose of oxy. Make sure you are experiencing withdrawal yawning watery eyes sneezing all that stuff. Then start with 1mg under the tongue. If everything seems normal after that hour then you can go ahead and eat the other 3mg ad see where that gets you to withdrawal wise. Rehabs usually do a 7 day sub taper going something like this 4mg, 4mg, 2mg, 2mg 1mg 0mg 1mg.

I strongly advise you stop the Xanax right now before you are physically addicted. After only a month you shouldn't have Wds. You really don't want to kick benzos and opiate physical addictions at the same time.

 

[Ce2700]

Thanks for the replys kind people. So far out appears people think UK in the right track given my circumstances? I'd love another person or two to firm up my plan. I'm extremely nervous about all this. I've been daily on both for over a month.

The opiates crept up on me I've been using them for roughly 7 months but it'd do it 2 times a week then every other day for months whiteout physical signs. Daily use started about 1.5 months ago and i can see where it's heading. I don't want to lose everything I've worked so hard to build during my sobriety which is why I'm here.

I just want my life back and not sure exactly how to get there. Thanks again for everyone's help and again more advise is definitely welcome to say the least

 

[manboychef]

Yeah I would say crimson junk is right on the money with the fast taper. Do you have magnesium, l-theanine, l-tyrosine, and some sort of anti nausea med? I used zofran. If you can get clonidine it is good to have on hand if you do end up with withdrawal symptoms when you need to work.

Those will help tremendously when you decide to jump off, and even when you are getting down to your last doses.

When it comes to the benzos though, that is going to be tricky. How many mgs a day of xanax were you on? Can you switch to a longer acting benzo like clonazepam or diazepam to taper down with?

I assure you all will be well again soon. You are making the most dramatic right step that you can make at this point. There are so many people on bluelight that have a wealth of knowledge about recovery and now you can tap that font of knowledge. This website, and NeverSickAnymore especially helped me through some very difficult times.