Need help breaking through on Salvia (EGO DEATH) 40x or 100x?

[mysterioussoup]

I want to hit that "reset" button in my life. I've suffered from depression and anxiety my whole life and I have a shit ton of neurological complexes and fears and social anxiety. But I'm not sure if I've done it already or not. I've done Salvia 40x two times in the past 48 hours. Once in the car with my friend, but it was terrifying and we had fucked up because we kept pulling each other back into reality by being in each other's presence. I find that I frantically try to cling to my ego and memories and identify myself in any object I am seeing while on Salvia. Both times I've felt major anxiety before taking it. It doesn't matter how long I meditate, I will still feel scared whilst hitting the bong and forgetting who I am, what I am, where I am, and what I'm doing. I wish I could STAY in that and experience complete death of ego. I'm always stuck in between two realities and the more I'm reminded of actual reality, I bring myself back every time. The second time I tried it was in my room in the dark, alone. I started at 7:20 and COMPLETELY blacked out because the last thing I remember at 7:20 was putting the bong down and counting to 30 and seeing my cousin walk in on me at 8:40. This is when my vision began to collapse inwards and everything became two-dimensional including myself. It took me a while, an eternity it seems, stuck in that fractal loop of time (of her asking me a question) in order to bring myself back. I'm frustrated because I can't remember anything before that. It's like that hour is missing from my life. I was gone, but can't remember where I went. I don't remember seeing anything. Does closing your eyes make a difference? Someone please help me experience a breakthrough. I'm thinking of ordering 100x for next weekend to try again.

 

[.:Holy::Toast:.]

40x is more than enough, however using salvia with such expectations is not always the best method if you're looking to incite personal change.
Salvia is often a difficult unpredictable experience as you have already noted.
Breaking through to ego death is not always what you need to provide introspection, in fact I find salvia pretty much useless in this regard.
It's a hard drug to think and meditate on (it's actually near impossible) and by that nature it's useless for me for any sort of introspection.
If I were you it seems like having people there is what is messing you up.
If you can hit it from the bong and have a friend take the bong and leave the room or area you're in it may be beneficial to your experience.

 

[roi]

4mg of a x100 extract should be just as stong as 10mg of a x40 extract? It's more about the dosage and smoking technique than the potency of your extract.

You should take it in a comfortable environment. A car doesn't count.

Also don't expect it to be a wonder drug that will solve any of your problems. Many people actually dislike salvia divinorum a lot..

 

[RhythmSpring]

I've actually gained a lot from using Salvia in terms of alleviating depression and getting to know my own mind.

However, I have gained most from lower doses (5x, 7x, quids, tea) than the higher ones. The higher ones are just scary and discombobulating and I can feel worse when I come down. When I *don't* leave this reality I learn a lot more about life.

 

[NoArtFlav]

ive literally tried almost everry drugs yet salvia interests no not what so ever...is there any benefit...beside going nuts for 5 mins?

 

[theacidtest]

I find breakthrough Salvia experiences to be disorienting, terrifying, and altogether unpleasant and without any benefit.

 

[zn13bt]

This is exactly the problem with the term "ego death", people end up using drugs to traumatize themselves in a futile search for enlightenment.

 

[jason7]

I don't think you can "break through" to anything on salvia. It just distorts everything. Everything including time is caught up in the salvia distortion wave. Maybe something like DMT or ibogaine would be more appropriate. Witht DMT you can break through to the realm of the nonphysical entities and communicate with them through direct thought exchange. It's a lot better than getting caught in a distortion wave.