In the past I used xanax 3 to 4 times a week 0.5/1mg. I do use dexedrine 15 to 20mg daily since January.
But since ~15 september, I've used a lot of xanax for 3 weeks. I've had blackouts and spent lots and lots of money.
Since then I suddenly stopped from Sunday to Thursday evening (5 October) and went through hell, without support. The thing is that I didn't even realize that suddenly stopping xanax was what was making me feel bad. I called help Thursday afternoon.
My purchase history shows:
I'm afraid that xanax is the worst drug while waiting in line to be helped, especially at these messed up high dosages. I am scared of xanax and have strong respect for anybody who's gone through benzo withdrawal and reduced their dose.
I'm very confused and desperate as nobody gives me any idea about a plan for the future. I've taken 2mg xanax yesterday. Today I think I'll end up at 2mg as well.
All advice is welcome. I've messed up and struggle thinking. Should I say I'm really ***'ed up to get my way into a clinic so that they increase my priority? Or keep taking 3mg daily until I get help, whenever that may be.
Also, dosing xanax is a pain, 1mg gets me really exhausted/tired. 500mg makes me remember the stupid stuff I've done and that I've lost my mind totally for 3 weeks.
But since ~15 september, I've used a lot of xanax for 3 weeks. I've had blackouts and spent lots and lots of money.
Since then I suddenly stopped from Sunday to Thursday evening (5 October) and went through hell, without support. The thing is that I didn't even realize that suddenly stopping xanax was what was making me feel bad. I called help Thursday afternoon.
My purchase history shows:
- 35d 50 x Xanax 2mg Bars
- 66d 10x Xanax / Alprazolam 2mg Bars
I'm afraid that xanax is the worst drug while waiting in line to be helped, especially at these messed up high dosages. I am scared of xanax and have strong respect for anybody who's gone through benzo withdrawal and reduced their dose.
I'm very confused and desperate as nobody gives me any idea about a plan for the future. I've taken 2mg xanax yesterday. Today I think I'll end up at 2mg as well.
All advice is welcome. I've messed up and struggle thinking. Should I say I'm really ***'ed up to get my way into a clinic so that they increase my priority? Or keep taking 3mg daily until I get help, whenever that may be.
Also, dosing xanax is a pain, 1mg gets me really exhausted/tired. 500mg makes me remember the stupid stuff I've done and that I've lost my mind totally for 3 weeks.