NASADD Social - for a hooker that bitch sucked dick like a 13yr old virgin

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brutus said:
^ Welcome to Bluelight.
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thanks, brotha. sad man, after writing that post I went out and picked up a gram and a half. its just whacky how it all works but glad to be here and let out the thoughts, feelings, etc. i already see a therapist and very open w/ him as well. same goes for the program i am entering where we are given that "room" to fck up because let's face it, most of us do (not saying ALL, but most) in the early days. i can honestly say tho I am trying my best and as of now my best is not good enough based on what i just did not long ago and how it was brought upon myself.
 
Another guy wih no lisence here. I picked up two heroin possesions charges and spent 7 months in jail. Oh and my second dui. Started probation recently , already pissed dirty for heroin. they havnt called me yet to tell me its dirty, im not to worried i hear they let you slide on the first one but to be careful with the second and third dirties.
 
djtiesto83187 said:
Another guy wih no lisence here. I picked up two heroin possesions charges and spent 7 months in jail. Oh and my second dui. Started probation recently , already pissed dirty for heroin. they havnt called me yet to tell me its dirty, im not to worried i hear they let you slide on the first one but to be careful with the second and third dirties.
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im sure it depends on a lot of things (wether they let you slide on your first dirty sample). depending on your court date im sure they give you a certain amount of leeway but at the same time all it takes is one probation officer having a bad day to violate you.



i would be walking that thin line with a bit of caution my good friend.


edit: also, dont be surprised if they don't even call to tell you. there is a good chance they just send a transport officer to the address you registered with your PO and pick you up. i know here, in memphis, we have drug court and most times when you piss dirty they will send you to jail for a few days, at most a week. the more you piss dirty the more time they will make you serve with each dirty sample.
 
well it was my first meeting and they basically told me that you dont get picked up on your first dirty. They expect most of the heroin users to use again.
 
dude, whoever youre meeting w/ consider yourself lucky. i was on feb probation/release before and if i pissed dirty i was going back away for a while. then again. i never pissed dirty so may they were just threatening me w/ some shit. it was easy at that point cuz i already been clean for so long and even after it all went clean for another 3 years (ive said it in another thread but will say it again - i still drank, but not much - i dont consider it a problem, same w/ smoking weed. go ahead and say drugs are drugs but get on heroin and then tell me drugs are drugs). anyway, after 6 years of cleanliness i decided to "try" and oxy 80. all I needed was 1/4 the pill to get high. wow, only 20 bucks to get jammed/high, its well worth it. well, 3 months later it was costing me 150+ to get jammed/high. and from there just downhill. now here I am TRYING again and going through an out patient program next week. already went through withdrawals and put 9 day together but got high again. still TRYING to this day but im on and off. ill go 2 days and then high 2 days and then clean 3 days and high 1 day, etc. and those "highs" mean next to nothing. what is 1 gram of dope going to do for me? nothing. it makes me happy to taste. cost me a good money to "taste" the high. very sad, right? wow. just sitting here rereading/thinking what I say makes me sick. ill never forget my years on/off the drugs and who I am truly an addict, even when "off" drugs. its just how I act and how I am.
 
BostonBrownTown said:
dude, whoever youre meeting w/ consider yourself lucky. i was on feb probation/release before and if i pissed dirty i was going back away for a while. then again. i never pissed dirty so may they were just threatening me w/ some shit. it was easy at that point cuz i already been clean for so long and even after it all went clean for another 3 years (ive said it in another thread but will say it again - i still drank, but not much - i dont consider it a problem, same w/ smoking weed. go ahead and say drugs are drugs but get on heroin and then tell me drugs are drugs). anyway, after 6 years of cleanliness i decided to "try" and oxy 80. all I needed was 1/4 the pill to get high. wow, only 20 bucks to get jammed/high, its well worth it. well, 3 months later it was costing me 150+ to get jammed/high. and from there just downhill. now here I am TRYING again and going through an out patient program next week. already went through withdrawals and put 9 day together but got high again. still TRYING to this day but im on and off. ill go 2 days and then high 2 days and then clean 3 days and high 1 day, etc. and those "highs" mean next to nothing. what is 1 gram of dope going to do for me? nothing. it makes me happy to taste. cost me a good money to "taste" the high. very sad, right? wow. just sitting here rereading/thinking what I say makes me sick. ill never forget my years on/off the drugs and who I am truly an addict, even when "off" drugs. its just how I act and how I am.
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i would check out "The Dark Side" or "sober living" areas if i were you. you arent going to get much help or input from staying off dope in this area.
 
Yea fed probation is really strict. State is different. Md you can piss dirty like 5 times with no violation. Great day today though, i got called in for color code urine screen and got to the office left my phone in th elobby came back two minutes later after pissing and someone had already stolen my phone, fuck me. It was a 20 dollar murder phone but still i had some minutes on the bitch.
 
I've been on the board for years, regardless of my "join" date. I've also been through it all, and I know almost all say that, but I truly consider that I've been through it all: AKA - HELL. like I said, I am TRYING to get clean but am I truly getting clean!? NOT AT ALL. just went through my dope and do I feel "high"? NOT AT ALL. do I feel better cuz I just set up and got the 5 seconds of a "rush". sure, I do. It's sad that I even say that but I want to say it's true but it's surly not.

either way, starting next week I am going to TRY MY BEST checking into an out patient program and doing whatever I can. sure, all say YOU NEED INPATIENT, it's the ONLY WAY FOR ADDICTS, but sometimes the rest of those addicts out there have to realize some of us have no other way to do this. some of us still NEED TO WORK; cannot afford to lose the job/life; cannot just step completely away and "get better". maybe we should blame it on being a "functioning addict" but you know what!? ill even thank God for being that functioning addict. as long as I am the one who realizes that even being looked at/getting by as a functioning addict is NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE TO MYSELF - I had ENOUGH! I blew through all my earning and still am a fiend.

I appreciate you pointing me in the right diction but I def. looked at that forum before and checked it out before; I am just trying to chime in anywhere and everywhere I can as of now. although I want/need to get clean, I am still using/dirtier than most and hoping the day comes where it's all DONE and GONE!

God help me.. but I never believed in NA/AA and realize it's ALL ON ME; although, I feel meetings/sponsors/others do help, it comes down to me WANTING/PUSHING for this to happen and for me wanting/pushing for me to get clean FOR GOOD or at least putting a better effort in than 3 days and then using. just not happy w/ myself and how it all went down. sure. the original 9 days made it seem I was doing good, but I only gave myself using as a GIFT for doing "so well". its just sad how we think, huh?
 
btw, did you ever have trouble pissing in public? i always have. at one point during my fed time I was on the fed patch, which is just a sweat patch that is on you 24/7 and had to get changed every 7 days. again, those were my days of being extremely clean and it was never a worry for me but a complete pain in the ass going in every 7 days to have that patch (on my shoulder) take off and replaced .I wish I was capable of pissing any/every time I could but it just couldnt happen. I rather piss dirty than do what I do, which is wait, try, patch, swab, blood, etc, testing because my piss was always a problem was on probation/parole. it's even a problem when the family wanted to test me pissing in general is NOT something I do in social settings (while at a bar or around others) and even at home w/ the GF in the bedroom I have a hard time pissing unless the door is locked or I KNOW she is NOT in the other room listening to what I am up to. whacky, huh> I can SHOOT, SHYT, THROW UP, WHATEVER, around others.. but when it comes to PISSING.. its something I am NOT capable of DOING. no clue why.
 
Na no problems with anything like that after doing a long bid in jail. But i always end up taking a piss an hour or two before i gotta take a urine screen and as soon as i finish i go FUCK i forgot i shoulda saved it till the screen. I had to wait an extra hour today cause i pissed an hour before coming in.
 
Hmmm weird i have no idea what i posted my bad wiggi. Weird part is ive been pretty damn sober the last couple days and have no clue what i posted haha.
 
motherfuckin jay cutler..we arent that good for him to be taking these sacks and throwing ints. thats how we will ose gamers this year i guarentee it. braqndon marshall is a great WR but fuck you got 2-3 other WRs out there. find the one thats open since they double team marshall every play
 
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