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Mental Health Narcissistic Personality Disorder (Vid included)

nuttynutskin

nuttynutskin

Bluelighter
Joined
May 15, 2011
Messages
10,725


I can definitely relate to this on a less severe level with a certain family member. They're no way near as bad as this but a lot of the nuances I notice in the "conversation" if you can call it that are similar. For the longest time I never even really knew much at all about narcissism, I just always thought it meant the person was vain. But since studying more and learning it was a lot more than that I've really been able to piece things together and become a lot more aware when I'm being subjected to narcissistic abuse. And unlike this example a lot of it can be stealthy for lack of better word, and somewhat hard to detect even leading the victim to second guess themselves.

I also found this in the comment section and found it to be a pretty damn accurate and informative, especially for Youtube...

adam willis
1 month ago

You're not alone brother. I've had this off my Mother since i was a young boy, and it's still happening today. The similarities are frighteningly uncanny. How they go from rage to calm to rage to calm, say evil things then tell you they love you then hate you......how they never allow you to speak, they finish their bit then as soon as you speak they speak, continuously to wind you up. Twist things into unfathomable lies and bullshit to pour fuel on another fire like an antagonistic arsonist just to remove themselves from blame and target anyone else no matter who they believe has done them a wrong. Totally paranoid, vicious in how they destroy someones identity, construe things the way they believe them to be and then believe their own delusions, deny every beating, harmful attacking words, emotional abuse etc of the past, then tell you it was your fault because you made them do what they did or do. Will search for any route to a fight, row or bust up to get a problem off of their chest, and will go to the people they know they can get a reaction, until of course you stand up to them whether in fight or being calm like you were during this call, to which they explode in violent rages and will manipulate things to try and start that fire. For this they have pushed away family, friends etc and remain lonely, only to change in portraying this nice changed person, acting out the false pretentious personality until trust is gained, and then bamm, they pounce, releasing their toxic wave of narcissism that literally makes everything absolutely stifling where you just have to escape and get away from them, then slander you to people etc saying you abandoned them, that you're cold, selfish and make up other spiteful things to make them appear to be victims.
Because myself and my eldest sister have always been empathetic, we've been our mothers, fathers and 3 others siblings targets, scapegoats, blood and energy supply and emotionally abusive dependency, that caused deeply destructive problems in my own life and my eldest sisters. Now we broke off, since my father died, it's like an animal chained up in a dark room has been pushed out into the wild and doesn't know what to do with itself. And I'm sure you've experienced the clear desperation for your mother to reattach herself to her supplier of her narcissism, you!!


Anyways, maybe this can help someone. If anyone wants to share their own dealings with a narcissist or their thoughts have at it.
 
He doesn't. In the vid description he said that was the last straw and hadn't had any contact in 4 years. It is sad, but sometimes you gotta remove toxic people from your life. I'm just surprised at how calm he stays while his mom is going batshit crazy repeatedly calling his gf or wife a whore. And from what I've gathered so far is that a pathological narcissist is never going to seek out treatment or try to change because it's always someone else's fault. And also to do so would show weakness and someone who's a true narcissist wants to be seen as omnipotent even tho internally they are anything but strong.
 
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Just to add something else, this guy has some other pretty interesting if not sobering videos about his life. I had to stop watching after 2 tho because it was starting to depress me. I'll probably watch some more at another time. Also he said in one of them his mother also suffers from bpd. Not to make light of anyone's mental illness, but that's one hell of a combination....

 
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yeah, I don't see the value in these videos really. They are depressing! Did you say that someone in your family is like this?
 
I don't know they are, but it's a good look into severe narcissism and probably therapeutic for the guy to get it out there.
 
herbavore said:
Did you say that someone in your family is like this?
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Well yes and no... Like I already said, no where near this bad. I was never physically abused as a kid or anything like that. For me it was more covert usually. Manipulating, controlling, projecting and sometimes down right lying about the facts. For the longest time I thought I just I didn't get along with said family member, but it wasn't until fairly recently I started piecing things together and realized they fit all if not most of the traits of a narcissist. I can really empathize with the guy in the video when he says he's 40 years old and still trying to figure out who he is or what he's doing because for a good part of my life I've felt like I wasn't living my own life. I was living to try to make someone else happy which I was very rarely successful in doing. And that's a big indicator right there, because a narcissist doesn't truly see their offspring as individual or independent people. They're more like an extension of themselves to be used for their own narcissistic supply.
 
I've always felt narcissism was a poor way to "diagnose" --anything. The DSM describes it equally hysterically stating "Expects to be recognized as superior and special, without superior accomplishments". This is ironic as only the DSM can claim special superiority as an institution. (who still uses outdated cases to back claims like psychedelics).

"Expects constant attention, admiration and positive reinforcement from others" Interesting

"Envies others and believes others envy him/her" Sounds amazing.

"Is preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of great success, enormous attractiveness, power, intelligence" American Dream?

"Lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings or desires of others" Okay.

"Is arrogant in attitudes and behavior" Why is that even a description?

"Has expectations of special treatment that are unrealistic" (As the DSM tries to cure them of their love of Self)

I read a little into the psychoanalytical approach to 'curing' this and it is said they must undergo a life crisis and shed their former Self (Shadow: Jung). It's odd to think that one must be broken by an institutional line of thinking in order to redirect a corrupted thought. It's very Michel Foucault-esk. Although in psychoanalysis crisis is often the crux of its effectiveness
 
Shrooms00087 said:
I've always felt narcissism was a poor way to "diagnose" --anything.
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Why? Narcissistic personality disorder is very real.

Shrooms00087 said:
The DSM describes it equally hysterically stating "Expects to be recognized as superior and special, without superior accomplishments". This is ironic as only the DSM can claim special superiority as an institution. (who still uses outdated cases to back claims like psychedelics).
Click to expand...

I don't know a whole lot about the DSM admittedly, just the basics. I'm sure it's not perfect as it's been revised quite a few times. But I don't think that takes away from that description of narcissism.


Shrooms00087 said:
"Expects constant attention, admiration and positive reinforcement from others" Interesting

"Envies others and believes others envy him/her" Sounds amazing.

"Is preoccupied with thoughts and fantasies of great success, enormous attractiveness, power, intelligence" American Dream?

"Lacks the ability to empathize with the feelings or desires of others" Okay.

"Is arrogant in attitudes and behavior" Why is that even a description?

"Has expectations of special treatment that are unrealistic" (As the DSM tries to cure them of their love of Self)
Click to expand...

I don't know what your point is here. If you ever knew a true narcissist you would know that all of those things listed fit. And loving yourself in a healthy way has nothing to do with narcissism. If you take any of that as trying to cure someone of loving themselves you need to do more research...

Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don't value themselves more than they value others.

When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don't receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry. You may insist on having "the best" of everything — the best car, athletic club, medical care or social circles, for instance.

But underneath all this behavior often lies a fragile self-esteem. You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have a sense of secret shame and humiliation. And in order to make yourself feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and efforts to belittle the other person to make yourself appear better.

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-...onality-disorder/basics/symptoms/con-20025568

Shrooms00087 said:
I read a little into the psychoanalytical approach to 'curing' this and it is said they must undergo a life crisis and shed their former Self (Shadow: Jung). It's odd to think that one must be broken by an institutional line of thinking in order to redirect a corrupted thought. It's very Michel Foucault-esk. Although in psychoanalysis crisis is often the crux of its effectiveness
Click to expand...

I don't know, you lost me here. But narcissistic personality disorder is seen as very hard to treat by some and untreatable (at least fully) by others for obvious reasons. I'd suggest you do some more research before you totally dismiss NPD as a frivolous or made-up disorder. It reeks havoc in families, jobs, pretty much everything the narcissist is involved in.
 
Back on track... Another vid related to dealing with narcissists in your life. This one is a little more geared to narcissists in the workplace but could be helpful anywhere I think. This guy has a lot of good vids imo...

 
I seem to have a lot of these symptoms. Especially handling criticism, i absolutely can not, but that could be linked to paranoia? Here's an example:
I'm at my friends (my most trusted friends) place and i put a song on, if they decide they don't like the song, ill get very embarrassed/offended. I have memories that haunt me from 10 years old, simple things like saying something stupid for example. Yet it still hurts and i must correct this behaviour to what i see as acceptable, or what others see? I constantly fantasize about hurting people that have hurt me, on a daily basis. Yet i do definitely have empathy, but that really depends towards who. I'm full of so much hate and have unfortunately projected a lot of this onto people close to me. But not to this extent, maybe we all partly suffer from this, i absolutely love my girlfriend yet sometimes i absolutely hate her. When my girlfriend disagree's with something i want to do, i get angry, when she is out with her friends i feel as if she's abandoned me. I'm a selfish cunt now that i think about it.
 
Everyone probably has some narcissistic attitudes at times but with pathological it's constant. But of course only a professional could really say for sure and even within the psychiatric field there's a fair bit of disagreement (obviously). Also as you probably know a lot of disorders kind of overlap in some symptoms such as issues with abandonment in both someone with npd and borderline disorder for instance. But either way if you feel whatever is going on with you is negatively impacting your relationships and life then you could always seek help and not worry about a label per se until you are able to talk with someone.
 
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Yeah I just pmed you after reading your thread before I saw you had posted in this one lol. Exactly what traits do you think don't relate to her? Keep in mind narcissists act and APPEAR perfectly normal at times, even personable and altruistic.
 
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Oh she acts and appears like this great funny person and a loving perfect mother to everyone!!!! It makes me sick how fake she can be. I clearly remember one night we were talking about my dads ex wife and she said something she said my sister told her regarding the ex. I was like that is NOT true and where do you come up with this shit? Her answer? "Oh, I must have made that up in my head" Right there I just was speechless and i told her that it explains a lot because she comes up with some off the wall shit sometimes. She has a lot of denial and she thinks that since I use maybe once or twice a month that I need to go into a program. She doesn't get that it will be a giant waste of time and money since I absolutely don't want to do that! I have been at my job almost 3 years, I pay my bills, I haven't used opiates in a month and when I was using them it was maybe twice a month at best. When she knew I was high she would lash out and become violent and punch, push, throw things at me etc… If I threatened to call the police on her she would laugh this really evil laugh and say go ahead, I'll have them arrest you. She is fucking CRAZY!!!!!! She needs to be on meds and get help, not me, I have meds and drs. I can't WAIT to get the hell out of her house. and when I do there will be very limited contact.
 
Seems to fit the bill... But yeah you need to get out of there so you're no longer in her control since by your post she's not only verbally abusive but physically also. On the positive, at least it sounds like you have your shit together. Just be prepared for a shitstorm if you do prepare to move. You have every right to call the cops on her if she gets physical/violent.
 
One day it's like she doesn't want me to leave and then the next day she's threatening to throw me out. I told her that when I do move out there will be extremely limited contact because she is so insane and changes on a dime. Plus I will be living with my boy friend and she treats him like shit so honestly I want to do to her what she does to him. See how she likes it.
 
absolutlyamazing said:
One day it's like she doesn't want me to leave and then the next day she's threatening to throw me out.
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Oh yeah, I know all about that... I can't even count how many times a certain family member has threatened to call the cops on me and have me thrown out just because of an argument. Then not too long ago they say they would hate for me to move out because of not getting along or some shit like that. It's insane, but I think it's probably because they would be losing one of the few people left to have to deal with their bullshit. :|
 
If I left she would be all alone. No one to take her anger out on. No one to clean the cat box. No one to take the garbage out and I don't even know what she would do with herself. She spends 75% of her time at home up my ass or invading my privacy. Whose bag and room would she look through if I was gone?
 
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