NA/AA meetings trigger cravings?

[pharaoh]

I’ve been in NA for 7 years and been announcing myself as a new comer most of that whole time due to constant relapses. Said I was high in meetings when called on to speak so I declined.

Never had any hate or problems there.

The only issues I’ve had is when people come at me with religion I just say “im a scientist with a PhD” and they ghost my ass forever at that point. These people aren’t recovered though despite being clean. Neither am I maybe that’s a remark I know is going to hurt them. But I think them coming at a person that could be any other religion of athiest without knowing and talking about Jesus is the first shot fired so I beleieve I’m justified there.

The truth is that it’s a group of fucked up mentally ill people drugs or not….most of them are stupid and uneducated; but I have found some absolute gems of people in terms of wisdoms and intelligence that were worth digging through all the rocks

That's cool and no disrespect to you. As they say, if it works for you then it works for you. I've heard that NA is better and I suppose a lot of its due to the nature of the drugs that people are on and possibly a more forgiving attitude due to the fact that everyone in there is on a drug that has the stigma (and discrimination) attached to it. AA felt different and also it was in a small community and maybe there were other, better meetings, but some old guy took me under his wing for a bit cos he liked the cut of my jib but he abandoned me when I slipped, after taking me in. We talked shit about the culture of the place and he seemed on the level, I met his wife and his mistress (his wife was schizophrenic and fucked up so he looked after her but had his other woman for that other kind of companionship) but as soon as I slipped that was it - ostracised. I was fucked up and had no one around so I started dealing heroin and had to get out of town cos of the police and a lot of beefing. I needed someone, my dad wasn't there even though he was five miles away. So based on my experience, fuck AA. Also you're a man of science, I am too if you consider the social and political sciences as true sciences, as I said there was a great quote somewhere I saw from a nurse: 'You need medical intervention, not divine intervention.'. This was someone trying to come off of alcohol and I've been there, the seizures, the sweats, the fucking nightmare of it all.

But fuck it, I forgot I was typing it. As I say, no disrespect intended. If it works for you then good and keep it up. I mean that.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

That's cool and no disrespect to you. As they say, if it works for you then it works for you. I've heard that NA is better and I suppose a lot of its due to the nature of the drugs that people are on and possibly a more forgiving attitude due to the fact that everyone in there is on a drug that has the stigma (and discrimination) attached to it. AA felt different and also it was in a small community and maybe there were other, better meetings, but some old guy took me under his wing for a bit cos he liked the cut of my jib but he abandoned me when I slipped, after taking me in. We talked shit about the culture of the place and he seemed on the level, I met his wife and his mistress (his wife was schizophrenic and fucked up so he looked after her but had his other woman for that other kind of companionship) but as soon as I slipped that was it - ostracised. I was fucked up and had no one around so I started dealing heroin and had to get out of town cos of the police and a lot of beefing. I needed someone, my dad wasn't there even though he was five miles away. So based on my experience, fuck AA. Also you're a man of science, I am too if you consider the social and political sciences as true sciences, as I said there was a great quote somewhere I saw from a nurse: 'You need medical intervention, not divine intervention.'. This was someone trying to come off of alcohol and I've been there, the seizures, the sweats, the fucking nightmare of it all.

But fuck it, I forgot I was typing it. As I say, no disrespect intended. If it works for you then good and keep it up. I mean that.

I don’t know if it works for me. I know it doesn’t hurt me though.

I’m just that desperate.

That’s sucks that they cut you off for relapsing. I’ve never had that problem with any of my sponsors. They still all talk to me to this day using or not.

I imagine geographic location plays a big role in the type of ppl that end up there.

a lot of meetings are shit that i try to go to. But I found one I drive 45 min out of my way to get to because it’s the real deal.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

I could never get passed all that "higher power" babble.
But I found them triggering, too. Like I'd sometimes wanna lurk around after and try and scope out some pills from someone (never did, though, I'd not wanna jeopardise someone else).

 

[paltatomate]

The first advice is to get to the meeting 30 min early. The talks before the meeting 1 on 1 with ppl are way more valuable than the formal meeting itself.

This sounds like good advice.

Not sure about the punishing thing, I guess this is something that every person will interpret differently. For some bad stuff might help, others will probably fall even deeper.

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time.

 

[JackARoe]

There is definite wisdom in a lot of meetings. I have seen a few people go from living in a box cut off from families to getting their act together, get a job and family back. So it can work for a lot of people. And it probably has to do with different groups and personalities. I don't like people that snicker at me if I say I don't need the program. People can make their own choices. 35 years ago the notion was it was the only game in town. Now I see a whole bunch of new types of treatment programs. The 12 steps have some good guidance and not only for addiction but on living life.

 

[paltatomate]

I could never get passed all that "higher power" babble.
But I found them triggering, too. Like I'd sometimes wanna lurk around after and try and scope out some pills from someone (never did, though, I'd not wanna jeopardise someone else).

I've never been to such a meeting, but I think the only way I could do it without getting at least kicked out, would be after taking like 5mgs of clona. And if with that amount I would have no problem whatsoever to try to get someone to introduce me to opioids.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

I've never been to such a meeting, but I think the only way I could do it without getting at least kicked out, would be after taking like 5mgs of clona. And if with that amount I would have no problem whatsoever to try to get someone to introduce me to opioids.

I went to one AA when I was first trying to get sober, but ('cause alcohol withdrawal can kill you) I was tapering off so still drinking a lot, just gradually less. I had more to drink than usual (not more than the X units I was allotted that day*, but like a largish amount in a concentrated time period) so was pretty drunk and could tolerate it, but also feel like I kinda embarrassed myself, too...not that that didn't happen constantly when I was drinking.
Went to NA sober-ish, but all the god talk was incredibly off-putting and I don't believe in the mantra that once you're addicted to something you can never in your life touch it again or any other substance at all, ever.


*I lived with my parents and was tapering the alcohol down from 56 units a day by one unit a day and I had my dad keep the alcohol and give me the next 24 hours worth at the same time each day.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

This sounds like good advice.

Not sure about the punishing thing, I guess this is something that every person will interpret differently. For some bad stuff might help, others will probably fall even deeper.

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time.

To clarify I don’t mean that the punishment is going to come from family or the penal system. None of that will work. The punishment must be self inflicted for it to get a person to have the desire to change; ime

It’s hard but there are windows of beauty and that’s all that’s keeping me going in the right direction right now. God knows there’s shit pulling me to go the other way though.

 

[pharaoh]

I don’t know if it works for me. I know it doesn’t hurt me though.

I’m just that desperate.

That’s sucks that they cut you off for relapsing. I’ve never had that problem with any of my sponsors. They still all talk to me to this day using or not.

I imagine geographic location plays a big role in the type of ppl that end up there.

a lot of meetings are shit that i try to go to. But I found one I drive 45 min out of my way to get to because it’s the real deal.

That's kinda what I was getting at. Where I was living at that time there was/is a peculiar culture and this seeped into everything including those meetings. I imagine I'd do better in a metropolitan area but this was a backwater shithole.

Read about sectarianism in Scotland - Scotland's shame they call it.

I'm sorry to hear that you're having a shit time of it, but there is light at the end of that tunnel. Trouble is you sometimes find that tunnel and start getting close but something might pull you back. I did it though and so can you. If you ever wanna chat about it, let off steam just pm me. I've been there and I get it and of course you get it. That's why some of us are here eh?

Be strong, everyone is stronger than they realise.

 

[JackARoe]

I don't believe in the mantra that once you're addicted to something you can never in your life touch it again or any other substance at all, ever.

Me too. Not into definitives. Life has too many variables to be so vanilla. Caffeine seemed to be the only drug allowed at meetings. Oh and yeah, I will never stop taking substances and most people won't either. Whether rec drugs or prescription meds we are chemical factories. I made peace with that. So I learned that quitting everything won't GIVE me peace. I have to make peace where I am.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

Me too. Not into definitives. Life has too many variables to be so vanilla. Caffeine seemed to be the only drug allowed at meetings. Oh and yeah, I will never stop taking substances and most people won't either. Whether rec drugs or prescription meds we are chemical factories. I made peace with that. So I learned that quitting everything won't GIVE me peace. I have to make peace where I am.

Yeah. Like I was extremely bad with alcohol. Usually a large bottle of vodka and 4-6 bottles of wine a day. Ended up homeless, was told by specialists I'd never make it to 30 etc, like I had no control. But after 4 years of being totally 100% sober (just from alcohol) I had one glass of champagne one new years and it was no big deal. Now I meet up with friends from high school every couple months, usually to see a movie and go to a restaurant and I'll have like 2 glasses of wine, or a couple jack and coke at Christmas etc. But I never feel the need to have more than that.
So it it possible to move on.
And I don't think there's always cross-over addiction like they claim. It's silly to claim all opioid addicts can never have alcohol, or that a meth addict can't take prescribed opioids for legit pain etc.

I got annoyed at the AA thing, too, 'cause I went out for a smoke (just a cigarette) and one of the others - who had like 3 coffees during the meeting - tried to give me shit about it "in case people are trying to quit". I was like "yeah, I walked across the [creepy, dark] parking lot to an empty area where I was alone so I WOULDN't bother others" but it was hypocrisy that pissed me off, trying to lecture me for a cigarette while she was fucking shovelling in the caffeine.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

Me too. Not into definitives. Life has too many variables to be so vanilla. Caffeine seemed to be the only drug allowed at meetings. Oh and yeah, I will never stop taking substances and most people won't either. Whether rec drugs or prescription meds we are chemical factories. I made peace with that. So I learned that quitting everything won't GIVE me peace. I have to make peace where I am.

As much as I hate it I think I may have to make peace with that too.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

". I was like "yeah, I walked across the [creepy, dark] parking lot to an empty area where I was alone so I WOULDN't bother others" but it was hypocrisy that pissed me off, trying to lecture me for a cigarette while she was fucking shovelling in the caffeine.

not to mention a ton of ppl in NA are morbidly obese. I feel like they could’ve survived meth longer than their obesity will kill them. They are in wheelchairs at 350 lb at 5’5” and shoveling the cookies down by the sleeve at the meetings. Addiction is still
Active in us all clean or not.

 

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

not to mention a ton of ppl in NA are morbidly obese. I feel like they could’ve survived meth longer than their obesity will kill them. They are in wheelchairs at 350 lb at 5’5” and shoveling the cookies down by the sleeve at the meetings. Addiction is still
Active in us all clean or not.

OMG you just reminded me of a terrible attempt/decision on my part to go to Overeaters Anonymous once. I was not overweight, in fact I'm 5'6 and was around 90lbs at the time but I had bulimia so it was still a binge eating problem. My psych actually suggested it. I wish she hadn't. I just felt really uncomfortable as I was the only person there who wasn't significantly overweight. Most people were nice, but I did get dirty looks, like people thought I was there to take the piss or something. I felt like saying "I sometimes 'manage' 18,000 calories a day, I bet I could out-eat any of you".
[I've been eating disorder-free for several years now, and at a healthier weight of around 115-120]

Agree with addiction being addiction. If you don't touch drugs or alcohol but are morbidly obese, you're not really recovered, you've just swapped out drugs for food.
350 at 5'5 is insane. I forget how bad obesity is in the U.S sometimes. I live in the UK and I've seen maybe 2 or 3 people that big in my life. Not that we don't have a massive (genuinely no pun meant, couldn't think of a non-punny adjective) obesity problem, but our obese people are less obese. But still obese. I've noticed the last 10-15 years when I go out, I feel like I see more overweight people than slim/healthy weight people.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

OMG you just reminded me of a terrible attempt/decision on my part to go to Overeaters Anonymous once. I was not overweight, in fact I'm 5'6 and was around 90lbs at the time but I had bulimia so it was still a binge eating problem. My psych actually suggested it. I wish she hadn't. I just felt really uncomfortable as I was the only person there who wasn't significantly overweight. Most people were nice, but I did get dirty looks, like people thought I was there to take the piss or something. I felt like saying "I sometimes 'manage' 18,000 calories a day, I bet I could out-eat any of you".
[I've been eating disorder-free for several years now, and at a healthier weight of around 115-120]

Agree with addiction being addiction. If you don't touch drugs or alcohol but are morbidly obese, you're not really recovered, you've just swapped out drugs for food.
350 at 5'5 is insane. I forget how bad obesity is in the U.S sometimes. I live in the UK and I've seen maybe 2 or 3 people that big in my life. Not that we don't have a massive (genuinely no pun meant, couldn't think of a non-punny adjective) obesity problem, but our obese people are less obese. But still obese. I've noticed the last 10-15 years when I go out, I feel like I see more overweight people than slim/healthy weight people.

Reminds me of the crackhead from soft white underbelly named Amanda.

The my got her into rehab and she became morbidly obese from being rail thin within the span of 6 months. Her crack ravaged heart couldn’t handle an obese body and she died of heart failure while 6 months clean