So I don't make a lot of posts here but it's been my well of information for some time.
A little about my addiction.
Started smoking weed and using LSD at the age of 15. Every 1-2 hours for the past 23 yrs. At the time I didn't see the problem. Drugs have actually showed me a lot. And I mean a lot. The knowledge I was receiving was so incredible I developed a relentless hunger for more. One of my most memorable experiences was with 12 drops of some pretty potent stuff. My friend tried three and was a little upset about it. Told me I was crazy.
To make a long story short, I have abused just about everything in the book. Looking for more knowledge. But what I didn't understand is that I had already learned everything there was to learn from these tools. When all the other research chems came out I engulfed myself in them. Unfortunately it was very unsatisfying. These new chems don't really teach you anything. They are like empty shells with nothing but recreational use but by then I couldn't stop. I had plenty of friends hooked on heroin and that was not pretty so even though I used it for over a year on a regular basis I abstained just enough not to get addicted.
Dissociatives were my downfall. I remember the thing about Onley's Lesions back in the day that was supposedly a hoax but I can say at this point that I think he was right and I still struggle with them. Most of them don't do anything at all anymore. One time I took 450mg of MXP. It's too difficult to try to explain what happened but when I came down I had no recollection of the incident. About a year later, out of the blue, I was able to remember it. It was scary to say the least.
It was to my surprise when I stopped taking etizolam. Cold sweats all night long. Almost impossible to sleep. That lasted about a week. I still use the stuff but only sparingly when I need it since I've struggled with insomnia since I was 9. I'm actually seeing a doctor to help me with that. She tried giving me cloral hydrate which is a very strong hypnotic and it didn't do anything. Then some other sleeping pills that were supposedly very strong; cant remember what they were but taking double what I was supposed to take had no effect. Finally we tried diphendramine which isn't really for sleeping but after I don't know how many yrs of sleeping no more than 4 hrs a day, 100mg of this stuff had me sleeping 8 hrs daily. I actually feel better now.
I had an overdose of 3meoPcP which landed me in the hospital. They didn't give me anything but strapped me down to the bed. It was my surprise when I woke in the hospital. But that didn't change anything I still use the stuff. 30mg usually. Once time on 3meoPcP and 2C-E I accidentally took too much pcp. I lost consciousness...kind off. I was floating next to my body for a while. Just watching it lay there until I came to.
One day I decided to smoke some DMT. I'm not scared of much but DMT for me is scary. It's never pleasant but it is a true teacher/healer. First it showed my life how it was now. Nothing to be proud of. But it didn't stop there. It showed me my future. Not this life but many consecutive lifetimes and each one got worse and worse. It was the path I was on and I didn't like it one bit. That experience game me a lot of strength and determination. I followed it a couple weeks later with another session. These nurse figures came to me. It's usually very hard to understand what they are trying to communicate but this message was very clear. They were literally screaming at me. There were some machines. These machines were alive and a representation of what I was doing to myself. It hurt, and I mean it was very painful what they were going through. I haven't touched it since but the change was already in place.
I actually stopped smoking weed so much. Once a day or less.
It gave me the resolve to see a doctor. This doctor has me on this flower essence treatment. They found that certain flowers have certain properties. Perhaps most of you don't understand but our bodies are made of a lot of water. Water has the ability to absorb energy and vibrations. She mixed a combination of them that she though would be beneficial. I had been to (forced) treatment before but none of it worked or maybe I just wasn't ready. Truthfully I still don't know if I am ready but to my surprise, from the very first day, I could feel them working. I had gone to the store to buy some alcohol and smokes. I've been smoking recently to try to fill in the gap of not smoking weed. When I got home I had no desire to take either of those. I'm still like WTF! this shit really works. This doctor is a psychiatrist and has a lot of degrees. She does hypnosis on people so they can recall past lives. Seems a little wacko for a doctor by what most people would think but she really knows what she's doing because this therapy, after the first day it was already having an effect. I highly doubt that with my condition this is placebo. I have a bowl ready to go but have no desire to smoke it.
We will see what tomorrow brings but but I'm very hopeful. I'm not gonna lie, I still use hallucinogens from time to time (as in every weekend) and I'm not sure I'm ready to give those up but at least now I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't have to see her for a couple weeks but if anyone is interested I can ask her for the details and can post what I learn. For something to work the way this is working I can almost call it a miracle. But it's not, it really is science if you take the time to understand.
If this can help anyone I'll be more than happy to help however I can.
A little about my addiction.
Started smoking weed and using LSD at the age of 15. Every 1-2 hours for the past 23 yrs. At the time I didn't see the problem. Drugs have actually showed me a lot. And I mean a lot. The knowledge I was receiving was so incredible I developed a relentless hunger for more. One of my most memorable experiences was with 12 drops of some pretty potent stuff. My friend tried three and was a little upset about it. Told me I was crazy.
To make a long story short, I have abused just about everything in the book. Looking for more knowledge. But what I didn't understand is that I had already learned everything there was to learn from these tools. When all the other research chems came out I engulfed myself in them. Unfortunately it was very unsatisfying. These new chems don't really teach you anything. They are like empty shells with nothing but recreational use but by then I couldn't stop. I had plenty of friends hooked on heroin and that was not pretty so even though I used it for over a year on a regular basis I abstained just enough not to get addicted.
Dissociatives were my downfall. I remember the thing about Onley's Lesions back in the day that was supposedly a hoax but I can say at this point that I think he was right and I still struggle with them. Most of them don't do anything at all anymore. One time I took 450mg of MXP. It's too difficult to try to explain what happened but when I came down I had no recollection of the incident. About a year later, out of the blue, I was able to remember it. It was scary to say the least.
It was to my surprise when I stopped taking etizolam. Cold sweats all night long. Almost impossible to sleep. That lasted about a week. I still use the stuff but only sparingly when I need it since I've struggled with insomnia since I was 9. I'm actually seeing a doctor to help me with that. She tried giving me cloral hydrate which is a very strong hypnotic and it didn't do anything. Then some other sleeping pills that were supposedly very strong; cant remember what they were but taking double what I was supposed to take had no effect. Finally we tried diphendramine which isn't really for sleeping but after I don't know how many yrs of sleeping no more than 4 hrs a day, 100mg of this stuff had me sleeping 8 hrs daily. I actually feel better now.
I had an overdose of 3meoPcP which landed me in the hospital. They didn't give me anything but strapped me down to the bed. It was my surprise when I woke in the hospital. But that didn't change anything I still use the stuff. 30mg usually. Once time on 3meoPcP and 2C-E I accidentally took too much pcp. I lost consciousness...kind off. I was floating next to my body for a while. Just watching it lay there until I came to.
One day I decided to smoke some DMT. I'm not scared of much but DMT for me is scary. It's never pleasant but it is a true teacher/healer. First it showed my life how it was now. Nothing to be proud of. But it didn't stop there. It showed me my future. Not this life but many consecutive lifetimes and each one got worse and worse. It was the path I was on and I didn't like it one bit. That experience game me a lot of strength and determination. I followed it a couple weeks later with another session. These nurse figures came to me. It's usually very hard to understand what they are trying to communicate but this message was very clear. They were literally screaming at me. There were some machines. These machines were alive and a representation of what I was doing to myself. It hurt, and I mean it was very painful what they were going through. I haven't touched it since but the change was already in place.
I actually stopped smoking weed so much. Once a day or less.
It gave me the resolve to see a doctor. This doctor has me on this flower essence treatment. They found that certain flowers have certain properties. Perhaps most of you don't understand but our bodies are made of a lot of water. Water has the ability to absorb energy and vibrations. She mixed a combination of them that she though would be beneficial. I had been to (forced) treatment before but none of it worked or maybe I just wasn't ready. Truthfully I still don't know if I am ready but to my surprise, from the very first day, I could feel them working. I had gone to the store to buy some alcohol and smokes. I've been smoking recently to try to fill in the gap of not smoking weed. When I got home I had no desire to take either of those. I'm still like WTF! this shit really works. This doctor is a psychiatrist and has a lot of degrees. She does hypnosis on people so they can recall past lives. Seems a little wacko for a doctor by what most people would think but she really knows what she's doing because this therapy, after the first day it was already having an effect. I highly doubt that with my condition this is placebo. I have a bowl ready to go but have no desire to smoke it.
We will see what tomorrow brings but but I'm very hopeful. I'm not gonna lie, I still use hallucinogens from time to time (as in every weekend) and I'm not sure I'm ready to give those up but at least now I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I don't have to see her for a couple weeks but if anyone is interested I can ask her for the details and can post what I learn. For something to work the way this is working I can almost call it a miracle. But it's not, it really is science if you take the time to understand.
If this can help anyone I'll be more than happy to help however I can.