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My struggle

DrinksWithEvil

DrinksWithEvil

Bluelighter
Joined
Nov 25, 2009
Messages
29,625
Location
OCEANSIDE CRiiiP
Age 19 - vicoden/norco habit
Age 20- oxy addiction 60mg a day/30mg methadone off days/rehab for six months kicked out for using .
Age 21- heroin Habit gram a day
Age 22 moved to Maui to get clean. Started using. Moved back to Cali. Back on heroin. Stealing .pawning. Scumbag. Went to rehab again got kicked out for using heroin
Age 23- in Maui again shootin up 150mg of oxy a day .

Just a little overview

What's next ?
 
um.... the continued life of a junky?
if it sucks, and you realize it, change it.

transitions are never painless, and the junk/non-junk flip really sucks. so don't try chasing a junk-cure panacea, there isn't one, and it's gonna hurt coming off it. All you can do is treat the symptoms of w/d, and definitely not the cause.
what's scary is having to deal with life again.
but there's nothing you can do about that except ruck-up and drive on.

Captain.Heroin said:
Have you ever tried Suboxone?

I would seriously suggest micron filtering oxy, if you are to continue injecting it.
Click to expand...

Both excellent suggestions. The bottom should be a rule for pill-poppers.
 
I guess i use becAuse it makes me feel how life should be. Not boring. I can't remember the last day i haven't had a drink.
I've used suboxen recreationally before. Snorted it I loved the buzz. I'm looking more Into the methadone side of it
 
Are you wanting advice on how to stop or just talking about your past/current drug use to vent it out? I'm trying to understand what you are hoping to get out of this thread? (This is meant in the nicest way possible, I'm not trying to be rude. I just want to be clear on the threads purpose)
 
I guess i use becAuse it makes me feel how life should be. Not boring.
Click to expand...

Yeah I hear ya. Since I have gotten clean life is SOO boring. I have no motivation, no direction and I put off everything. If I do commit to something I will usually try to back out and make excuses. Rarely answer my phone or call anyone.

I am clean but I didnt get clean to feel like this and its going on 5 months. I definitely miss the lifestyle of using but not so much the using. It just seems like I am stuck in this strange reality where I dont work and dont do much except for go out to eat. Occasionally go out drinking but that is even not fun anymore. Most days my favorite part of the day is at about 10pm when I watch TV and get stoned. IMO that is sad.

I just keep telling myself things will get better and they have I dont have any thoughts about using but thats about it. I dont know.

peace.
seedless
 
bagochina said:
Yeah I hear ya. Since I have gotten clean life is SOO boring. I have no motivation, no direction and I put off everything. If I do commit to something I will usually try to back out and make excuses. Rarely answer my phone or call anyone.

I am clean but I didnt get clean to feel like this and its going on 5 months. I definitely miss the lifestyle of using but not so much the using. It just seems like I am stuck in this strange reality where I dont work and dont do much except for go out to eat. Occasionally go out drinking but that is even not fun anymore. Most days my favorite part of the day is at about 10pm when I watch TV and get stoned. IMO that is sad.

I just keep telling myself things will get better and they have I dont have any thoughts about using but thats about it. I dont know.

peace.
seedless
Click to expand...

I'm in that same boat with you... it sucks.

to the OP: I'm currently in recovery from opiates. just a suggestion try smoking some weed instead of the others. I know it's just swapping one problem for another but at least this way you still get high, and weed is much more manageable
 
bagochina said:
Most days my favorite part of the day is at about 10pm when I watch TV and get stoned. IMO that is sad.
Click to expand...

This describes me pretty well......when work is over there's really not all that much to look forward at the end of the day. In fact I can't think of all that much to look forward to.

I don't mean to hijack the thread- that just struck a chord with me.
 
bagochina said:
Yeah I hear ya. Since I have gotten clean life is SOO boring. I have no motivation, no direction and I put off everything. If I do commit to something I will usually try to back out and make excuses. Rarely answer my phone or call anyone.

I am clean but I didnt get clean to feel like this and its going on 5 months. I definitely miss the lifestyle of using but not so much the using. It just seems like I am stuck in this strange reality where I dont work and dont do much except for go out to eat. Occasionally go out drinking but that is even not fun anymore. Most days my favorite part of the day is at about 10pm when I watch TV and get stoned. IMO that is sad.

I just keep telling myself things will get better and they have I dont have any thoughts about using but thats about it. I dont know.

peace.
seedless
Click to expand...

Same here I have been on opiates since I was 17 and it seems like now, even when I'm on them I am still miserable.
 
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