Guttz
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2014
- Messages
- 1
Okay, so I'm new to this site, although I've used it many times in the past to find information etc. I am experiencing extremely weird withdrawal symptoms given my situation, and I simply cannot figure out what's going on or what I should do. I don't mean to write an essay here but I have to give you my background for you to understand my current situation. First off, I was recreationally using Oxycodone for around 2 and 1/2 years. In the beginning it was only 15mg-30mg, ONCE a week (On Fridays). It eventually grew to 30mg-60mg, once a week. As with any addiction, one thing led to another (I figured I was invincible) and I began using 30-60mg twice a week, but sometimes still only once a week. I bumped my dosage up to 60mg-90mg once a week, but again sometimes using 2-3 times a week now. Just a few months ago I got to a point where I was using 60mg-90mg either every day, every other day, or just random binges throughout a 1 month period. I slowed down for a bit, but broke into another binge for 2-3 weeks, and then slowed down again. I obviously wanted to stop my habit many times but always caved, until Kratom came along. I started slowly decreasing my use, and only using 60mg-90mg once every 2 weeks. I am now clean off of Oxycodone for 38 days. For at least half of my 2+ year period of abuse, I stuck to using only ONCE a week. So my habit was really not too bad until I caved and went on binges. At one point during my 2+ year habit, I managed to stop opiates completely for 1 month. This was before my binges, and I recall feeling crappy (Hot flashes, Insomnia, RLS) 13-14 days after my last pill. This was very weird to me because I've read that you're supposed to physically withdraw 4-5 days minimum after your last pill. I'm assuming my weird habit of only using ONCE every 7 days, has something to do with it. And I actually think I probably had some physical withdrawals (I recall noticing RLS and fatigue/'burnt out' feeling) during my 7-day breaks, I just didn't even know what opiate withdrawals felt like because it wasn't bothering me much. Regardless, I'm just trying to point out the fact that I experienced awkward withdrawal symptoms even before my binges. I ended up caving and starting up again after that 1 month. SO... This brings me to my current problem.
I'm 38 days off Oxycodone, but I've managed to acquire a Kratom addiction, and I'm even worried I could have a mild Benzo habit. I screwed up by taking Kratom and then relapsing after a few days or a week or two. It was too easy to do my Oxys and then take some Kratom the next few days and feel fine. By the time I finally stopped using Oxy I had managed to use Kratom for nearly 3-4 months on a daily basis (I'm still using daily but tapering, and I'll get to that). Thankfully... I stuck to a small dose of only 5g Premium Bali for at 2-3 months of my Kratom usage. I did spike up to 15g a day about a month ago, but it was for a very short amount of time compared to my entire Kratom habit as a whole. I'm currently tapering and I'm down to 12g a day, and I'm gonna cut down to 10-11g starting tomorrow. Throughout my Oxy habit I occasionally used Xanax to help me sleep or for the many many times I TRIED to stop using. I NEVER take more than 0.5mg Xanax, or 1 Football. So I know my Benzo usage was extremely mild. I also tried smoking weed to help with my opiate withdrawals but I'd either end up feeling worse and relapse, or I'd be forced to pop some Xanax. I also messed around with Adderall and Vyvanse a few times in the past 3-4 months to kill cravings on a Friday night (Only once a week with a 2-3 week break in between). And every time I used an amphetamine I would pop 0.5mg of Xanax to comedown and sleep. Maybe on 2 or 3 occasions I used 1mg of Xanax. SO... I do feel as if I've used 0.5mg of Xanax maybe 2-3 times a week for the past few weeks. I've had a few small spikes to 1mg but very few. I've just been battling horrible anxiety lately and it seriously destroys me. After the first 14 days of my Oxy withdrawal, my physical symptoms have pretty much gone away. BUT I still get hot flashes and chills every day, and I still get RLS in between my Kratom doses. I used Kratom twice a day, (For example: 6mg in the morning and 6mg after work). I don't have trouble sleeping, I don't really feel physically fatigued all the time, and I really do feel much better physically, but I don't understand why I still have hot flashes, burning skin, and sometimes RLS. I'm guessing it may be from Kratom, but I use Kratom everyday... For example, I wake up at 6:30am, and I take 6mg of Kratom. At this point, I generally wake up feeling okay, I do have energy and I can get ready for work pretty easily. BUT after a bit, I'll start to feel body temperature irregularity, etc. My Kratom will kick in and help me feel more 'normal' but it doesn't completely take away my hot flashes. During my work day I can still feel hot flashy nearly the entire day. Sometimes if I'm very busy my mind will be taken off of it, and I never really break out sweating or anything crazy... But it's enough to bother me throughout the day and I also just don't understand how I'm feeling this way, even an HOUR after taking Kratom? And again... 38 days off Oxycodone. Much longer than any physical symptoms can last. By the time I get out of work my hot flashes are progressively getting worse, and I'll start to feel very fatigued. Even if I got 7-8 hrs of sleep the night before. For a while I was convinced that I simply had a crazy weird pattern of physical withdrawals from my Oxy habit (Because for a long time I was doing it only once per week). I led myself to believe that the Kratom was relieving my Oxy withdrawal symptoms, and after it wore off in 4-5 hours, I just needed more Kratom to alleviate the OXY withdrawal symptoms again. I'm now starting to think that because I take my Kratom TWICE a day, 6mg in the morning and 6mg around dinner time... I'm essentially not taking enough Kratom in the morning, and not enough at dinner time. My body wants the full 12mg at once to completely alleviate these minor physical symptoms.
So that's where I'm stuck right now... I simply don't know what the hell is going on? Is this from my Oxy withdrawal, or is Kratom a dirty devil and screwing with me? OH and for the past 3-4 weeks I've been anxious nearly everyday. I had one week in between where I felt fine, but then slipped back into a depressed/anxious state. And then again I felt fine (Just last week) and now again I feel anxious randomly. I definitely think I'm experiencing some PAWS and mental issues from my Oxy withdrawal, but I've been taking a decent amount of Kratom everyday. The kratom helps but I have a tolerance to it and I literally don't even get a buzz anymore from the Kratom. And that's even before I began tapering a week or so ago. It stopped doing anything at all really, and that's why I was using Xanax for anxiety a lot recently. I'm now worried maybe I'm having mild withdrawals from Xanax? I just have no idea what's going on because I've clearly made a massive mistake and overlapped 3 different drugs with different habits.
I'm currently prescribed to Valium 5mg for sleep (BS prescription I got to help me through mental WDs). I just took one Monday night and it helped my anxiety but I became anxious again after an hour or so. It did indeed knock me out though so that was nice. Yesterday I felt okay, but now today I just feel... weird. I've been going to the gym 3-4 days a week, including today... Trying anything I can to boost my dopamine/endorphin levels. I take MANY vitamins including fish oil. I drink Protein shakes with Tryptophan and Tyrosine (Very small doses but still...). I know this is probably one of the longest posts ever but I really have held back for a long time and I have no one to speak to about this and I seriously want a second opinion, other than my own. My girlfriend has gone through these habits with me, but she's unfortunately still using Oxycodone. I've convinced her to start tapering with Percocet 10mg/Vicodin 5mg (Another BS prescription I got because I actually really do have a bad past with broken bones and injuries). I no longer have cravings for opiates, I simply want to feel normal again. This is the hardest time of my life, and I'm really struggling to work full-time and function 'normally'. I would also like to point out that my anxiety absolutely was the worst for the first 2-3 days after taking amphetamines, the few times I took them. And I used them in large doses. I'm talking 50-60mg of Adderall, and 80-120mg of Vyvanse. Altogether though I've only done Adderall like 3-4 times and Vyvanse 3 times in total. And those were separated by AT least 1 week, but usually like 2-3 weeks in between. So with all of this damn information, if anyone has any idea what could possibly be going on with me and my withdrawal situation... Please help!
My current symptoms are again; Hot flashes, Burning skin, Mild RLS at night (Sometimes bad between Kratom doses), Fatigue between Kratom doses, Mild-Horrible Anixety, Mild Depression, Lack of interest in anything, Lack of motivation, Irritability, Occasional Jittery/Uncomfortable feeling (Resltessness).
^^^ The main ones are Hot flashes, Burning Skin, Mild RLS at night, and Anxiety.
I've actually been motivated at some points and enjoyed playing video games or watching TV/Movies. I still try to convince myself I'm getting better everyday but it's tough since I'm still tapering my Kratom usage.
I'm also scared to use my Valium because I have no idea if I've abused benzos a bit too much over the past few weeks. BUT I do still have Valium 5mg and I wish I could honestly just pop it at least every other day at this point lol. My girlfriend actually has Lunesta as well for sleep, and it does help me with Anxiety but I've read online that it can make anxiety worse (The following day or next few days if you start to use it long-term).
I would also like to mention that I know my habit was probably nothing compared to some people, but I really am suffering, regardless of how much worse some people may have had it. Don't let that stop you from calling me an idiot or a 'pussy' though because I probably need shit like that to feel better lol. I am absolutely the kind of person who reads all the terrible things that can happen to people, and assume I am having the same issues even though my habit may be way smaller. I should also mention that my older brother takes Xanax at night when he can't sleep because of anxiety. I honestly only had a FEW experiences where I would get anxiety and not be able to sleep, and they either all happened during withdrawals, or once in a blue moon when I was clean. Just saying it could be possible I have some anxiety regardless of withdrawals. For people with experienced knowledge of PAWS, how long could my mental withdrawal symptoms last? And I'm hoping my Kratom habit isn't too hard to kick because I really don't know if I can keep fighting like this without breaking down.
I'm 38 days off Oxycodone, but I've managed to acquire a Kratom addiction, and I'm even worried I could have a mild Benzo habit. I screwed up by taking Kratom and then relapsing after a few days or a week or two. It was too easy to do my Oxys and then take some Kratom the next few days and feel fine. By the time I finally stopped using Oxy I had managed to use Kratom for nearly 3-4 months on a daily basis (I'm still using daily but tapering, and I'll get to that). Thankfully... I stuck to a small dose of only 5g Premium Bali for at 2-3 months of my Kratom usage. I did spike up to 15g a day about a month ago, but it was for a very short amount of time compared to my entire Kratom habit as a whole. I'm currently tapering and I'm down to 12g a day, and I'm gonna cut down to 10-11g starting tomorrow. Throughout my Oxy habit I occasionally used Xanax to help me sleep or for the many many times I TRIED to stop using. I NEVER take more than 0.5mg Xanax, or 1 Football. So I know my Benzo usage was extremely mild. I also tried smoking weed to help with my opiate withdrawals but I'd either end up feeling worse and relapse, or I'd be forced to pop some Xanax. I also messed around with Adderall and Vyvanse a few times in the past 3-4 months to kill cravings on a Friday night (Only once a week with a 2-3 week break in between). And every time I used an amphetamine I would pop 0.5mg of Xanax to comedown and sleep. Maybe on 2 or 3 occasions I used 1mg of Xanax. SO... I do feel as if I've used 0.5mg of Xanax maybe 2-3 times a week for the past few weeks. I've had a few small spikes to 1mg but very few. I've just been battling horrible anxiety lately and it seriously destroys me. After the first 14 days of my Oxy withdrawal, my physical symptoms have pretty much gone away. BUT I still get hot flashes and chills every day, and I still get RLS in between my Kratom doses. I used Kratom twice a day, (For example: 6mg in the morning and 6mg after work). I don't have trouble sleeping, I don't really feel physically fatigued all the time, and I really do feel much better physically, but I don't understand why I still have hot flashes, burning skin, and sometimes RLS. I'm guessing it may be from Kratom, but I use Kratom everyday... For example, I wake up at 6:30am, and I take 6mg of Kratom. At this point, I generally wake up feeling okay, I do have energy and I can get ready for work pretty easily. BUT after a bit, I'll start to feel body temperature irregularity, etc. My Kratom will kick in and help me feel more 'normal' but it doesn't completely take away my hot flashes. During my work day I can still feel hot flashy nearly the entire day. Sometimes if I'm very busy my mind will be taken off of it, and I never really break out sweating or anything crazy... But it's enough to bother me throughout the day and I also just don't understand how I'm feeling this way, even an HOUR after taking Kratom? And again... 38 days off Oxycodone. Much longer than any physical symptoms can last. By the time I get out of work my hot flashes are progressively getting worse, and I'll start to feel very fatigued. Even if I got 7-8 hrs of sleep the night before. For a while I was convinced that I simply had a crazy weird pattern of physical withdrawals from my Oxy habit (Because for a long time I was doing it only once per week). I led myself to believe that the Kratom was relieving my Oxy withdrawal symptoms, and after it wore off in 4-5 hours, I just needed more Kratom to alleviate the OXY withdrawal symptoms again. I'm now starting to think that because I take my Kratom TWICE a day, 6mg in the morning and 6mg around dinner time... I'm essentially not taking enough Kratom in the morning, and not enough at dinner time. My body wants the full 12mg at once to completely alleviate these minor physical symptoms.
So that's where I'm stuck right now... I simply don't know what the hell is going on? Is this from my Oxy withdrawal, or is Kratom a dirty devil and screwing with me? OH and for the past 3-4 weeks I've been anxious nearly everyday. I had one week in between where I felt fine, but then slipped back into a depressed/anxious state. And then again I felt fine (Just last week) and now again I feel anxious randomly. I definitely think I'm experiencing some PAWS and mental issues from my Oxy withdrawal, but I've been taking a decent amount of Kratom everyday. The kratom helps but I have a tolerance to it and I literally don't even get a buzz anymore from the Kratom. And that's even before I began tapering a week or so ago. It stopped doing anything at all really, and that's why I was using Xanax for anxiety a lot recently. I'm now worried maybe I'm having mild withdrawals from Xanax? I just have no idea what's going on because I've clearly made a massive mistake and overlapped 3 different drugs with different habits.
I'm currently prescribed to Valium 5mg for sleep (BS prescription I got to help me through mental WDs). I just took one Monday night and it helped my anxiety but I became anxious again after an hour or so. It did indeed knock me out though so that was nice. Yesterday I felt okay, but now today I just feel... weird. I've been going to the gym 3-4 days a week, including today... Trying anything I can to boost my dopamine/endorphin levels. I take MANY vitamins including fish oil. I drink Protein shakes with Tryptophan and Tyrosine (Very small doses but still...). I know this is probably one of the longest posts ever but I really have held back for a long time and I have no one to speak to about this and I seriously want a second opinion, other than my own. My girlfriend has gone through these habits with me, but she's unfortunately still using Oxycodone. I've convinced her to start tapering with Percocet 10mg/Vicodin 5mg (Another BS prescription I got because I actually really do have a bad past with broken bones and injuries). I no longer have cravings for opiates, I simply want to feel normal again. This is the hardest time of my life, and I'm really struggling to work full-time and function 'normally'. I would also like to point out that my anxiety absolutely was the worst for the first 2-3 days after taking amphetamines, the few times I took them. And I used them in large doses. I'm talking 50-60mg of Adderall, and 80-120mg of Vyvanse. Altogether though I've only done Adderall like 3-4 times and Vyvanse 3 times in total. And those were separated by AT least 1 week, but usually like 2-3 weeks in between. So with all of this damn information, if anyone has any idea what could possibly be going on with me and my withdrawal situation... Please help!
My current symptoms are again; Hot flashes, Burning skin, Mild RLS at night (Sometimes bad between Kratom doses), Fatigue between Kratom doses, Mild-Horrible Anixety, Mild Depression, Lack of interest in anything, Lack of motivation, Irritability, Occasional Jittery/Uncomfortable feeling (Resltessness).
^^^ The main ones are Hot flashes, Burning Skin, Mild RLS at night, and Anxiety.
I've actually been motivated at some points and enjoyed playing video games or watching TV/Movies. I still try to convince myself I'm getting better everyday but it's tough since I'm still tapering my Kratom usage.
I'm also scared to use my Valium because I have no idea if I've abused benzos a bit too much over the past few weeks. BUT I do still have Valium 5mg and I wish I could honestly just pop it at least every other day at this point lol. My girlfriend actually has Lunesta as well for sleep, and it does help me with Anxiety but I've read online that it can make anxiety worse (The following day or next few days if you start to use it long-term).
I would also like to mention that I know my habit was probably nothing compared to some people, but I really am suffering, regardless of how much worse some people may have had it. Don't let that stop you from calling me an idiot or a 'pussy' though because I probably need shit like that to feel better lol. I am absolutely the kind of person who reads all the terrible things that can happen to people, and assume I am having the same issues even though my habit may be way smaller. I should also mention that my older brother takes Xanax at night when he can't sleep because of anxiety. I honestly only had a FEW experiences where I would get anxiety and not be able to sleep, and they either all happened during withdrawals, or once in a blue moon when I was clean. Just saying it could be possible I have some anxiety regardless of withdrawals. For people with experienced knowledge of PAWS, how long could my mental withdrawal symptoms last? And I'm hoping my Kratom habit isn't too hard to kick because I really don't know if I can keep fighting like this without breaking down.
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