My story

[sonicwhite]

It all started in the spring of 03. I just turned 18 and I felt free yay! I can do what I want. If I only knew what the choices I was making would result in. So From the age of 12 I was a pot smoker. Did it like every other week. behind curtians so parents wouldn't beat the crap out of me. I had enough of my dad's bs. I live in Nashville at the time. Nov of 02 I moved back to Oklahoma to my mom's. She couldn't control me. So she sent me off to Jobs corps. I hated it, when your forced to do something you don't want to usaully it won't work out. I was 17 at the time and april 1 is my birthday. As soon as I turn 18 I went Awal. I started to hang out at the gay clubs because I had alot of friends from job corps go there. I'm straight but to the point. I started using DXM. I was more interested in pot the triple ccc. but I did what I had to do to get high. Then I met this drag queen who introduced me to ICE. (meth) I love it I would smoke it every chance I got. Then I had my first roll. I felt like superman. Only if I knew that I was drawing out a disorder that would plauge me tell this day. I met a beautiful woman named Anna. She was into pot and I was into almost anything. After 5 months of dating her. I started to notice I was getting very paranoid. But I didn't care all I wanted to do was get high. Then Bam! may 05 I get hit with a psychosis which was meth XTC induced. I was in jail rotting away not even knowing how to use the phone. I got beat up and a moment came to me where I cried out to God pls help me! And I said get on the phone and get out. So I did. Now by this time I'm out of my mind so my roommates take me to the mental Hospital. After two weeks I got out I was on Abilify and I was still out of it but I wanted to smoke meth. Lost my gf at the time. Diagnosed cannabis psychotic disorder and OCD. Well switch gears here I am today. I see a new shrink that say's I have schizoaffective disorder. Okay I can believe that. But it's still my fault because if I hadn't did the drugs I would have the predesposition on it. Well I can't smoke pot it makes me go crazy. I can do DXM and have a Blast but I know my limits. I havn't smoked meth in 7 yr's and never plan on doing it agin and well thats how the cookie crumbled in my life.

 

[badfish45]

It sounds like you've had quite a rough ride. Do you think it's such a good idea to do DXM still though? I feel that drug has done more damage to my brain the few times I've done it than pot ever has. If you are already being diagnosed with psychological disorders, hallucinogens are probably not the drugs that you want to be toying around with.

 

[sonicwhite]

I understand that. But why does pot make me so anxious and DXM just put's me in la la land. But I must agree with you. It's not really smart since I have already had a breakdown the chances of it happening again sky rocket. I just forgot what it was like to have fun. I think I have ADD. Because I can't focus on anything unless I'm doing some DXM or out of the blue happy. Maybe I'll talk to my pdoc about a amp but I don't want to get sucked back into meth thats for sure.

 

[badfish45]

Yeah,But consider you've been using pot since a younger age , and I'm assuming more consistently than DXM. I'm just saying be careful, because DXM is one of those drugsthat just turns on you. I'm no medical expert to what's going on with you, I'm just saying be careful. Congratulations on being clean from meth though.

 

[sonicwhite]

Thx badfish I understand. I will do some more research but as it stands every other drug messes with me except DXM and My psych meds kinda make me feel like a zombie so I just wanted to ad a litl spice to my life but, I understand your concern. Thank you.