applesbliss
Bluelighter
It all began a long, long tyme ago in Florida. 1996 was the year, and I was in 10th grade english class. We had to write a poem for class. That year I was all full of expression and had so much I wanted to share.
So I wrote a very descriptive poem.
I wrote somewhat freestyle whatever came to mind and then I worked over it multiple tymes. Trying to add layers of depth that gave it meaning from multiple perspectives.
It got an A, and I passed it along to all my friends. From there I wrote a slew of deeply meaningful poems very freestyle but working over then and edited. Inspired alot by my friendz and The Smashing Pumpkins. I began grouping these poems together and fronting them almost as if they were a music album or copywritten book.
And my style just evolved but it was still very innocent writing at that tyme.
I moved back "home" from the place I was living and began writing more and more to deal with the stress from my parents.
Many stages I went through.
Eventually I compiled my first self-produced "book". It was nearly 200 pages long. And from there on I compiled another 200 page book of misc. material I didn't include in the first.
From there on I reached what I call now MY "summer of love". The most incredible tymes ever. This is when I began composing my music and there was a nice synergy between the words I was writing and the music I was creating. I recorded some demos and began compiling the poems from that tyme period. I also began to give poetry reading at my local bookstores(Sometimes to standing ovations and people offering to PAY me money to write a poem for them. I declined everytyme) and entering poems in various high school contests winning a few prizes.
From there some major destructive things happened in my life at home. And I went into foster care. I began analyzing my work so much it turned to utter self-destruction and analysis. I stopped doing the reading and would devote sometymes upto 12 hours on a 10 line poem. This was nutz. This was during a tyme I was compiling a book which eventually took a collective of TWO long years to finish. This was all through the tyme of moving out on my own. Unfortunitly, my mom has the old books(Hopefully) still in her safety deposit box and a ex-fiancee has the book that took two years to write.
Since that tyme I've jotted down ideas. I think drugz and changing into the "real world" helped destroy the focus on my writing. (Though in the long run I gained so much more from drugz then isolation and writing).
As I was writing over the past year I kept seeing the same themes I was writing about more and more. But they were very bland and not even as creative, they were lame. I was afraid of devoting too much tyme to them again. And also failing myself by adding to my own destruction by trying to put the best possible ideas I can on paper.
This thread doesn't have a precise reason. I'm partially just reviewing the past 5 years and how it relates to my writing outloud.
But I think I'm starting to come around and be able to write down important ideas without giving my entire self.
Balance is proportionate, balance works.
I think a person in my shoes needs to seperate writing too much and writing too little.
applesbliss
the word and name "applesbliss" was taken from a theme I started writing about and then translated as a sort of "handle" for my writing.
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"The principle of evolution by selection is best known from the natural selection theory developed by Darwin to explain evolution of biological organisms. Dennett calls this natural selection principle a universal acid: it is such a powerful concept that it bites through everything."
[This message has been edited by applesbliss (edited 26 April 2001).]
So I wrote a very descriptive poem.
I wrote somewhat freestyle whatever came to mind and then I worked over it multiple tymes. Trying to add layers of depth that gave it meaning from multiple perspectives.
It got an A, and I passed it along to all my friends. From there I wrote a slew of deeply meaningful poems very freestyle but working over then and edited. Inspired alot by my friendz and The Smashing Pumpkins. I began grouping these poems together and fronting them almost as if they were a music album or copywritten book.
And my style just evolved but it was still very innocent writing at that tyme.
I moved back "home" from the place I was living and began writing more and more to deal with the stress from my parents.
Many stages I went through.
Eventually I compiled my first self-produced "book". It was nearly 200 pages long. And from there on I compiled another 200 page book of misc. material I didn't include in the first.
From there on I reached what I call now MY "summer of love". The most incredible tymes ever. This is when I began composing my music and there was a nice synergy between the words I was writing and the music I was creating. I recorded some demos and began compiling the poems from that tyme period. I also began to give poetry reading at my local bookstores(Sometimes to standing ovations and people offering to PAY me money to write a poem for them. I declined everytyme) and entering poems in various high school contests winning a few prizes.
From there some major destructive things happened in my life at home. And I went into foster care. I began analyzing my work so much it turned to utter self-destruction and analysis. I stopped doing the reading and would devote sometymes upto 12 hours on a 10 line poem. This was nutz. This was during a tyme I was compiling a book which eventually took a collective of TWO long years to finish. This was all through the tyme of moving out on my own. Unfortunitly, my mom has the old books(Hopefully) still in her safety deposit box and a ex-fiancee has the book that took two years to write.
Since that tyme I've jotted down ideas. I think drugz and changing into the "real world" helped destroy the focus on my writing. (Though in the long run I gained so much more from drugz then isolation and writing).
As I was writing over the past year I kept seeing the same themes I was writing about more and more. But they were very bland and not even as creative, they were lame. I was afraid of devoting too much tyme to them again. And also failing myself by adding to my own destruction by trying to put the best possible ideas I can on paper.
This thread doesn't have a precise reason. I'm partially just reviewing the past 5 years and how it relates to my writing outloud.
But I think I'm starting to come around and be able to write down important ideas without giving my entire self.
Balance is proportionate, balance works.
I think a person in my shoes needs to seperate writing too much and writing too little.
applesbliss
the word and name "applesbliss" was taken from a theme I started writing about and then translated as a sort of "handle" for my writing.
------------------
"The principle of evolution by selection is best known from the natural selection theory developed by Darwin to explain evolution of biological organisms. Dennett calls this natural selection principle a universal acid: it is such a powerful concept that it bites through everything."
[This message has been edited by applesbliss (edited 26 April 2001).]
