BluLait
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2012
- Messages
- 544
I have been together with my girlfriend for about 5 months now.
When we first met I didn't really like her that much, but she wasn't bad either... so I went for it.
The first month she fell for me, so so so hard. She would call all day, just to see what I'm doing... stuff like that.
But then problems came, when we went on vacation for 6 days. We would argue every day about bullshit. Shortly after coming back I have had enough I wanted to end the relationship. We had a huge fight, I told her she will find someone else, that I can't put up with her crap anymore. She started crying & all. Then I realized how much I really cared for this girl, after she was gone. So we got back together really quickly. But that was just the beggining. I guess she started to lose trust in me or something. After this, things were never truly the same... And this was 3 months ago.
Shortly after our first break-up. I proceeded to fuck-up a party she threw - I took MDMA and acted like a complete e-tard in front of all her friends, who for some reason thought I was gay... Guess MDMA turns me into a lovey-dovey motherfucker. She broke up with me mid-peak. I was fucking ruined. Then she realized she couldn't let go and we got back together after 2 days... But she was acting more and more distant, cold.
I must add, she is the very sensitive-type girl. Her parents are divorced, and she hasn't had a very happy life. She's got money problems, family problems, she's depressed sometimes. This has fucked up her self-confidence.
We stayed together about a week more, but shit wasn't going right. She wouldn't return calls & all that. One day we got together and I asked her what the issue was because I suspected there was something involving her ex-boyfriend. They were together for 3 years before.
She admitted she didn't know what to do, to stay with me or get back together with her ex, who still loved her. She said she found me a lot more attractive and has much deeper feelings for me. She said sex was never as good as is with me. She says she gets butterflies every time she looks at me, but that she is scared that if she continues the relationship, she will get even more attached and we'll end up fighting again and she will suffer even more.
She said that her ex-boyfriend, even though she doesn't feel the same level of attraction for him, would never leave her and understands her & shit.
So we broke up, but we stayed friend for a whole fucking month. We saw eachother every day, almost. Some awkward kisses in-between. I kept telling her that I would never leave her that I love her etc etc... She kept saying I needed to give her time, that she's not sure what to do. We ended up fighting again, I told her I can't stand to be like this, that it's tearing me up inside. I told her that I can't just be friends, I demanded a straight answer - YES or NO - No more "give me some more time bullshit". She got mad and started crying.... and said we should forget about it. But it was obvious she loved me.
After that we started seeing each other less. I still wanted to be with her... But she said she'd never get back together with me and called me pathetic for wanting to see her all the time. I had enough. I took some MDMA and all my sorrows went away, for good. The very next day after taking the MDMA I picked up a nice blonde chick at a party. Then I called my ex (we were still friends, so we talked every day); she asked me how the party went... I told her it was kind of boring - she laughed at me and said I go to boring parties & shit... but then I dropped the bomb: told her I had met this nice blonde chick and I was going out on a date with her. Her voice started shaking but she didn't say anything, until later that evening when she called me, crying. She begged me to take her back.
So I did the obvious thing... Obvious when you're in love. I got back together with her and we had the sweetest 2 weeks ever.
Then, we started arguing again... And with every fight we have, she gets colder and colder.
We broke up about 10 times in the following 2 months. But each time we would get back together. It's obvious she loves me but she doesn't like to show it anymore.
We've been fighting less lately, because I've solved many of the issues which were making us argue.
She keeps telling me that she's scared we'll end up fighting. She says we'll probably be together 1-2 months and then break-up again. But she doesn't end it. She just stays in this relationship, but I can feel her fear.
It's obvious she loves me, but there are times when she acts so cold, she doesn't even look me in the eye. And other times we share moments of ecstasy with each-other and if you saw us you'd think we were the happiest couple alive.
So she's weird. One day she's happy & shit, and the next she's fucking cold.
Before, we used to send eachother these cute messages and said how much we missed eachother & all... But after some fights she stopped sending me anything nice message-wise, now she never says anything nice to me... No compliments no nothing.
I'm trying so hard to keep this thing together, but no matter how good we get along... I can't get her to give me a proof of her love for me. I keep telling her how pretty she is, how beautiful her eyes,hair all that bullshit. How much I love her. I do nice things for her all the time. Flowers etc.
She likes these... But I think she's lost trust. Even though she hasn't brought this issue up, I think that is the problem. She's afraid she will lose me so she is acting cold, she has like a shield around here because she's scared.
And because I love her so much, I am now scared... I get the worst vibes off her, ever. I am now the one who's madly in love, I keep sending her messages & shit... But she doesn't send cute stuff back, she just replies but never anything nice.
Before, we used to see eachother with every occasion. Now we still see eachother quite often and have sex on a .... regular basis. But it's obvious she doesn't want to spend that much time with me, she makes up some excuses & bullshit.
I just want to spend a weekend together with her but she keeps saying she has to be home (she lives outside the city) and that she has a lot of work to do - which is true - but she does other stuff too... like, last weekend she went on a one-day trip accompanied by her ex-boyfriend - I said I'd go with her but she kept finding excuses not to take me.
So yeah, this is the fucking situation.
I brought up the ex-boyfriend situation (they kind of see eachother in the weekends & shit) and she said I'm way too jealous and that they're just friends and she said I'm getting way too attached and that I need to give her some space.
Her ex-boyfriend lives in the same area as she does. And they're both there in the weekends. Lately she has been avoiding spending weekends in the city. She admitted to seeing that asshole every saturday almost... Now she doesn't want to spend any weekends with me and keeps finding bad excuses of me not going there to see her.
So maybe this is the cause for it, that fucking asshole. I have a hard time believing the other story she keeps telling me, the one where she's afraid we'll end-up fighting again. Oh yeah, with every chance we get she says stuff like: "I don't want you to lend me that money because what if we're not together in 1-2 months?" or "If I stay with you 2 more months I'm gonna get used to your driving", "I wonder if we'll catch Easter together". Like out of the blue she keeps bringing up this fucking subject of us not being together anymore. I mean, I get it, shit happens. But does she have to talk about it all the time?
You can ask me more questions about my relationship. I just want to know how to deal with it. I'm madly in love with her, but this is not really normal behaviour and I'm willing to let her go. I just don't know what her behaviour means, yet. Maybe you guys can help me, some of you have more experience.
I'm fucking desperate, I've been having mood-swings, depression, can't sleep some nights just thinking about this. I have been this way for the past 3 months. I have to do something. I don't know who else to talk to, I don't really want to tell my friends about this, I think they will laugh. But for me, this is an issue.
When we first met I didn't really like her that much, but she wasn't bad either... so I went for it.
The first month she fell for me, so so so hard. She would call all day, just to see what I'm doing... stuff like that.
But then problems came, when we went on vacation for 6 days. We would argue every day about bullshit. Shortly after coming back I have had enough I wanted to end the relationship. We had a huge fight, I told her she will find someone else, that I can't put up with her crap anymore. She started crying & all. Then I realized how much I really cared for this girl, after she was gone. So we got back together really quickly. But that was just the beggining. I guess she started to lose trust in me or something. After this, things were never truly the same... And this was 3 months ago.
Shortly after our first break-up. I proceeded to fuck-up a party she threw - I took MDMA and acted like a complete e-tard in front of all her friends, who for some reason thought I was gay... Guess MDMA turns me into a lovey-dovey motherfucker. She broke up with me mid-peak. I was fucking ruined. Then she realized she couldn't let go and we got back together after 2 days... But she was acting more and more distant, cold.
I must add, she is the very sensitive-type girl. Her parents are divorced, and she hasn't had a very happy life. She's got money problems, family problems, she's depressed sometimes. This has fucked up her self-confidence.
We stayed together about a week more, but shit wasn't going right. She wouldn't return calls & all that. One day we got together and I asked her what the issue was because I suspected there was something involving her ex-boyfriend. They were together for 3 years before.
She admitted she didn't know what to do, to stay with me or get back together with her ex, who still loved her. She said she found me a lot more attractive and has much deeper feelings for me. She said sex was never as good as is with me. She says she gets butterflies every time she looks at me, but that she is scared that if she continues the relationship, she will get even more attached and we'll end up fighting again and she will suffer even more.
She said that her ex-boyfriend, even though she doesn't feel the same level of attraction for him, would never leave her and understands her & shit.
So we broke up, but we stayed friend for a whole fucking month. We saw eachother every day, almost. Some awkward kisses in-between. I kept telling her that I would never leave her that I love her etc etc... She kept saying I needed to give her time, that she's not sure what to do. We ended up fighting again, I told her I can't stand to be like this, that it's tearing me up inside. I told her that I can't just be friends, I demanded a straight answer - YES or NO - No more "give me some more time bullshit". She got mad and started crying.... and said we should forget about it. But it was obvious she loved me.
After that we started seeing each other less. I still wanted to be with her... But she said she'd never get back together with me and called me pathetic for wanting to see her all the time. I had enough. I took some MDMA and all my sorrows went away, for good. The very next day after taking the MDMA I picked up a nice blonde chick at a party. Then I called my ex (we were still friends, so we talked every day); she asked me how the party went... I told her it was kind of boring - she laughed at me and said I go to boring parties & shit... but then I dropped the bomb: told her I had met this nice blonde chick and I was going out on a date with her. Her voice started shaking but she didn't say anything, until later that evening when she called me, crying. She begged me to take her back.
So I did the obvious thing... Obvious when you're in love. I got back together with her and we had the sweetest 2 weeks ever.
Then, we started arguing again... And with every fight we have, she gets colder and colder.
We broke up about 10 times in the following 2 months. But each time we would get back together. It's obvious she loves me but she doesn't like to show it anymore.
We've been fighting less lately, because I've solved many of the issues which were making us argue.
She keeps telling me that she's scared we'll end up fighting. She says we'll probably be together 1-2 months and then break-up again. But she doesn't end it. She just stays in this relationship, but I can feel her fear.
It's obvious she loves me, but there are times when she acts so cold, she doesn't even look me in the eye. And other times we share moments of ecstasy with each-other and if you saw us you'd think we were the happiest couple alive.
So she's weird. One day she's happy & shit, and the next she's fucking cold.
Before, we used to send eachother these cute messages and said how much we missed eachother & all... But after some fights she stopped sending me anything nice message-wise, now she never says anything nice to me... No compliments no nothing.
I'm trying so hard to keep this thing together, but no matter how good we get along... I can't get her to give me a proof of her love for me. I keep telling her how pretty she is, how beautiful her eyes,hair all that bullshit. How much I love her. I do nice things for her all the time. Flowers etc.
She likes these... But I think she's lost trust. Even though she hasn't brought this issue up, I think that is the problem. She's afraid she will lose me so she is acting cold, she has like a shield around here because she's scared.
And because I love her so much, I am now scared... I get the worst vibes off her, ever. I am now the one who's madly in love, I keep sending her messages & shit... But she doesn't send cute stuff back, she just replies but never anything nice.
Before, we used to see eachother with every occasion. Now we still see eachother quite often and have sex on a .... regular basis. But it's obvious she doesn't want to spend that much time with me, she makes up some excuses & bullshit.
I just want to spend a weekend together with her but she keeps saying she has to be home (she lives outside the city) and that she has a lot of work to do - which is true - but she does other stuff too... like, last weekend she went on a one-day trip accompanied by her ex-boyfriend - I said I'd go with her but she kept finding excuses not to take me.
So yeah, this is the fucking situation.
I brought up the ex-boyfriend situation (they kind of see eachother in the weekends & shit) and she said I'm way too jealous and that they're just friends and she said I'm getting way too attached and that I need to give her some space.
Her ex-boyfriend lives in the same area as she does. And they're both there in the weekends. Lately she has been avoiding spending weekends in the city. She admitted to seeing that asshole every saturday almost... Now she doesn't want to spend any weekends with me and keeps finding bad excuses of me not going there to see her.
So maybe this is the cause for it, that fucking asshole. I have a hard time believing the other story she keeps telling me, the one where she's afraid we'll end-up fighting again. Oh yeah, with every chance we get she says stuff like: "I don't want you to lend me that money because what if we're not together in 1-2 months?" or "If I stay with you 2 more months I'm gonna get used to your driving", "I wonder if we'll catch Easter together". Like out of the blue she keeps bringing up this fucking subject of us not being together anymore. I mean, I get it, shit happens. But does she have to talk about it all the time?
You can ask me more questions about my relationship. I just want to know how to deal with it. I'm madly in love with her, but this is not really normal behaviour and I'm willing to let her go. I just don't know what her behaviour means, yet. Maybe you guys can help me, some of you have more experience.
I'm fucking desperate, I've been having mood-swings, depression, can't sleep some nights just thinking about this. I have been this way for the past 3 months. I have to do something. I don't know who else to talk to, I don't really want to tell my friends about this, I think they will laugh. But for me, this is an issue.
tooooooooooooooooooo loooonnnng tooooooooooo reeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaad
