Hi all.
This is a raw account of me and I hope someone can say just one thing to help me feel not alone. I know I need to get some help. My DOC is weed but I have been doing a lot of other things. Unfortunately, I think I found the meaning of addiction. I stole my mom's stash of old narcotics... A bunch of dilaudid, percocet, oxys. That didn't last long. Then I found a hookup for coke. Unfortunately, the hookup is shady. Right now I can't get drugs except weed and my mind is going crazy. All I want is coke or opiates.
Now, all this would be fine and I wouldn't have posted here. Except, deep down, I know I want to quit drugs and be sober. I have some serious mental health issues that need to be addressed including depression and BPD. I recently quit my job and now I just drink and smoke weed and wish I had other drugs. I've even been snorting ambien, because fuck why not. I hate myself and wish I could make the choice to get clean. I also don't really believe in NA..I don't want to have to make all those meetings. Any help?
This is a raw account of me and I hope someone can say just one thing to help me feel not alone. I know I need to get some help. My DOC is weed but I have been doing a lot of other things. Unfortunately, I think I found the meaning of addiction. I stole my mom's stash of old narcotics... A bunch of dilaudid, percocet, oxys. That didn't last long. Then I found a hookup for coke. Unfortunately, the hookup is shady. Right now I can't get drugs except weed and my mind is going crazy. All I want is coke or opiates.
Now, all this would be fine and I wouldn't have posted here. Except, deep down, I know I want to quit drugs and be sober. I have some serious mental health issues that need to be addressed including depression and BPD. I recently quit my job and now I just drink and smoke weed and wish I had other drugs. I've even been snorting ambien, because fuck why not. I hate myself and wish I could make the choice to get clean. I also don't really believe in NA..I don't want to have to make all those meetings. Any help?
