• H&R Moderators: streaM Freak

My opiate withdrawal

Thanks. I'll check out the Healthy Living thread.

Sepher- My uni happens to have a free counseling service for students experiencing a wide range of things from substance abuse to sexual abuse. I plan on going there and telling them whats going on. I'm thinking I could get more support from the student counselor if I get someone at the "life" counseling center on my side (I'm thinking they could coordinate with the student counselors).


On the nutrition topic, for others who may read this thread... You need to be sure to get the proper amount of HEALTHY FATS (nuts, avocados, flax, even butter, etc. basically all the unsaturated fats are good depending on the source). Your body uses the healthy fats to create/manage/coordinate hormones, including testosterone. Another tidbit taken from my healthy days that may help in recovery. I alot of ppl are so afraid of fats, but healthy fats can actually help you lose weight by properly balancing your hormones and increasing your metabolism.
 
If it's too late to drop with a W, then you should definitely give it your best shot. You will get an F if you do nothing, but maybe you can at least get a passing grade. Try anything, even emailing the professor. Some are dicks, but some are nice people.
 
Timeline: 96 hours since last dose.

Woke up today hungry as fuck! Ate a huge bowl of oatmeal, a huge apple, and nuked a huge piece of catfish I fried last night. This is probably the first time I actually wanted to eat something in these 4 days. That has to be a good sign.

My optimism is starting to return. I set up an appt at the counseling center and am actually a bit excited about going. Also, (it seems) thinking about my schoolwork isn't bringing as huge of a sheet of fear as it has been. I'm thinking maybe I can pull this off.

I feel like the worst is over (thank god), although, I do think I have another couple weeks to totally get my drive and focus back.

I can feel the grip slowly releasing on my brain and that feels good and gives me a sense of pride. Although my W/Ds aren't as bad as a lot of ppl's, they still suck ass for me, and the fact I'm currently beating it gives me more motivation to keep abstaining.

I have to admit, though, I have somewhat been using this as my NA meetings (haven't went to a F2F once yet), and it's proven very therapeutic. Just want to thank all the ppl who've taken part in this thread thus far. Your advice and kind words do really help, even though I don't really "know" any of you. I guess half of NA is "anonymous", though, right?

Isn't it crazy how this shit totally turns your priorities upside down?
 
Great to hear you're feeling more positive about things. Sounds like a productive day for you making the appointment, getting the ball rolling. Indicative that the motivation I was talking about earlier is starting to kick in. I expected as much but it's always nice to be proved right! ;) And yeah, talking on here is very much a kind of group therapy / talking cure kinda thing for me too with my own issues. Often just talking to people about their issues is also constructive for you personally because it causes you to reflect on your own experiences as you share them with others. Most useful.

You're doing well mate. Keep going. :)
 
Ok, so I'm about to face the biggest challenge yet... My wife just got out of the hospital with a script for 30 perks. I know I could weasel some out of her if I tried. Told her not to let me see em and not to let me talk her out of even one. We'll see how it goes..
 
Dude you better have her lock those shits up and sleep with the key in her stomach. You know what will happen better than any of us.

On the topic of brain performance, I'll tell you its been almost a year in a sub program, almost weaned off completely, and my brain is STILL not at 100%. I'd say its like 98% of where it once was. For me this is unacceptable as my brain is my greatest asset. Unfortunately it is the reality of the situation.

Also just so you are aware, you cannot think yourself out of addiction. You could be as intelligent as myself, even more so, stupider, whatever. It doesn't matter. Your brain cannot be trusted. Sooner you accept that the easier things get. This was INSANELY hard for me to do. Its almost paradoxical to boot. But once again, its the reality. Accept it and start finding alternatives to your brain for certain things. Intelligence, smarts, reasoning, logic, mean absolutely dick in regards to addiction. It is an illogical, unreasonable, all around retarded beast.


Furthermore go to a REAL NA meeting, for the love of yourself and your family. You dont have to go forever, but when you've got 4 days off of opiates? Generally speaking it is a good idea to go for awhile....

I think you should get in a suboxone program but I guess we'll see. I know you said it "fucked up your neurochemistry" but even if that is the case 1) that damage has already been done 2) doing a sub program CORRECTLY (ie taking the smallest does possible) works better than not, from a statistical stand point at least 3) you make a point later on that the brain is plastic (which is true) so you yourself definitely can and will recover if you should elect to get on a sub program

I hate to be "that guy" but honestly from what I've read of your posts it does not sound like you are currently set up for success. Just being pragmatic.

I wish you the best. If you ever want insights or input we're all here.
 
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^Honestly, I'll go to an IOP program before I go on suboxone again. Since my physical symptoms faded so quickly, I really don't think I need the suboxone. Like I said- kicking was never a problem until suboxone came into the picture. Until suboxone came into my life, I was always able to keep my habit to 3-4 hydro or oxy 10s on Saturdays and Sundays (not even every weekend). But, I WAS abusing the suboxones so I probably brought it onto myself. Boy, how I would love to go back to those days, but I know they are gone forever. Not that I've reached full blown dependency, I know I can never go back to the recreational situation without ending right back up where I am today.

Granted, I do agree w/ everything else and that I need some professional help other than home detoxing.

I did have rather large tolerance (though not near the highest), but I feel that suboxone and methadone should only be used for ppl who feel like they're dragged through hell and back during WD. And, I definitely don't believe they need to be on it for 2 years like a lot of these doctors are doing nowadays- it just prolongs the process and makes WD harder/longer, IMO (especially methadone)..
 
Yeah, I really do not understand this constant advice to get on suboxone maintenance. In what sense is maintenance of an opiate addiction even with a partial agonist even remotely preferable to being properly opiate free if you can do it? It can't be, can it? It's a crutch for those who can't cut full abstinence into proper recovery. Sorry Doommood, I hope that doesn't come across the wrong way, I do not mean to be disparaging, at all. I just don't understand the logic. But then, I've never been on the stuff so what do i know?
 
Suboxone does two things well- it DOES keep dopesickness away. And it DOES break the lifestyle of hunting, hitting, and hiding.

However, Suboxone is far worse to detox from than heroin and opioids, IMO, even if you do a taper.

And, for someone as fortunate as me with my recovery times, I think proper counseling and professional advice to do with the psychological side of things is as far as it should go. Getting on Suboxone for 2 years is just going to worsen and extend my withdrawals. With proper counseling, I can be 2 years ahead of myself vs. getting on Suboxone.

And, I really don't like the way Suboxone makes me feel. I just feel "off" in a way... Sort of zombied out and there's this weird pressure in the front of my head that I don't get with other opiates or even methadone. And that god awful taste of the strips b/c doctors are so apprehensive to prescribe subutex. For some reason they think Naloxone prevents ppl from shooting it up. Not to mention the broken dick :( (I honestly don't even get that with other opiates, just super human stamina.).
 
Its a interesting point of view on addiction, a thinking mans view on the "disease". So, it has been about 8 months? How is your recovery going? Here is some advice though: You seem fairly educated and well versed, so its wise to always assume that you are one step behind of your 'problem', so that you don't think yourself out of sobriety, rationalizing becomes a dangerous game when drugs that disrupt homeostasis are involved, like opiates and benzos, etc. I like that part about your junky friends being too self absorbed, took the words out of my mouth. I have 2 friends like that, one of whom i honestly believe is teetering on the verge of psychosis, a complete mental breakdown. Its scary because we did the same things together, although I've always been a step ahead of him mentally, because i never believed myself to be some anomaly of mental acuity and I am way more responsible and therefore not AS short sighted as him(Dosage difference). I was always a functioning addict, he had nothing to function with. Sorry to drag on, i just wanted an update from you. I honestly wish you good luck, you can beat this. we all have the capacity to. sorry for the poor syntax.
 
Okay everyone, listen up...I read many threads about the withdrawals and let me explain everything you'll go through.
I done every type of pain pill, suboxone, the patches even was hooked on xanax, for years, I dont see much about long term usage effects, very different from someone using for 6mths-year, withdrawling for their first time, long term users can experience longer withdrawls and repeated symptoms. If you are planning to stop cold turkey, listen up, see a doctor first and explain and don't leave without xanax, any benzo's, you'll need them and get everything ready, you won't have the energy later.
First most important, any opiates your taking you need to bring it down to a level to able to withstand the withdrawals, anyone taking high doses shouldn't even be reading this, your still abusing. My wife was on fentynal patches, 100mgs, that's a lot and in two maths got her down to oxy 20mg, the final script we decided to take 10mg for a few days then a qtr pill, 5mg for a few days then it begins.
First you'll sleep a day, maybe even two but on the 3rd day withdrawals really begin due to any opiates still in your system, once out then be ready, just remember that it will end, in time.
You'll get brain flashes, nerve ending tweaking in your face, on your lips, hot flashes, hot flashes last a few days to a week, usually, for my wife and me. The the uncomfortable feeling something eating away at you inside, sick to your stomach. Then the mental game, RLS, insomnia.
Let's start with a plan and let me explain that a lot of drugs are being mentioned on here to cope but in the end it can just prolong your withdrawals and some meds can make things worse, like RLS, I tried baclphon muscle relaxer, made my RLS worse and also, benadryol for sleep didn't work and made my RLS 10x worse.
Plan that worked for me;
Started taking vitamins, right before stopping would be best, a multi V, vitamin B complex, vitamin B12 (vitamin B for energy, nerves) and potassium for nerves also, L-tyrosine for energy.
First started taking 2 multi vitamins daily, with Vitamins B,s and potassium. You'll need your vitamins so your body heals, it helps but don't think you'll feel any different, will help some with energy lvl's and the fact you can't eat.
You can try L-tyrosine later as you feel better, atleast a week before you'll be able to get around.
Take xanax for sleep, try not to take it durning the day the first week, withdrawal, get it out of you first because insomnia will kick in on day 4 and you WILL not be able to sleep...no matter what. I had done this without any xanax and was up for 8 straight days without no sleep until I finally fell asleep for a half hour, a day later got an hour sleep and more sleep as days went on. Your brain has to reprogram your natural sleep pattern, you been going to bed drowsy everyday so its something you'll have to deal with, even taking xanax will still prevent your natural sleeping pattern from coming back so do not take xanax daily for a long period of time, then you'll have to withdrawal from that and to me it was worse than opiates, lucky for me i got off benzos a year before all this.
See Thomas recipe for vitamins, minerals you'll need.
The first week is hard, take xanax as needed for sleep and will help with nerves and RLS, there are meds for RLS which can be fine if only using for a week, any meds will just prolong withdrawals so get it over with. Take hot showers, if you get sleep, stay up all day and keep your mind active, try eating soup, banana's, anything easy to get down, a little at a time. I believe my first week wasn't so bad, the hot flashes, sneezing (will go on for a month due to your nose being so dry) as fluid starts coming back to your nose it will eventually stop. The eerie feeling of wanting to rip off my skin, no energy..etc. As for me, week two was worse, the mental game begins, very restless, I drank sometimes and got shit faced to kill the pain, my wife swears weed helped her a lot, made things worse for me, I did try Lyrica and seemed to help but only took for a few days then my brain was tweaking again.
It always seemed any meds that did help gave some relief but prolonged withdrawals, just because I'm not sick as a dog doesn't mean I'm not withdrawaling, withdrawals can last a month even two months with repeated symptoms which may not last long but can come back, this is why I state, spread out them xanax, you'll need them.
Week one had maybe 1-2mg xanax, week two 1mg a day, week 3 half mg a day. I did save a few on the side for down the road, I'm on week 6 and still feel some restless, low energy but I get better each.
Now with no xanax, I'll have a few beers, rum and coke for the mental part, I'm now thinking much clearer, more active everyday, keeping busy, now eating better, no more vitamins, I'm finding food now comforts me as i now get bored quite easily.
I do not find myself wanting any oxy's, maybe a xanax here and there but I know I need to heal, your body needs to be COMPLETELY off everything, drug free for you to heal.
Do not take suboxone unless its only for a week to bring your self down, suboxone withdrawals are very bad, I know! Most meds listed on blue light for relief may, may not help but just remember, long term abusers (years) will will prolong symptoms.
People mention having sex helps, it does and will help you sleep better.
After 6 weeks, my head still rings some, some low energy, now having coffee in the morning helps, it took a month for my natural sleeping pattern to come back, now getting 6-8 hrs sleep everyday.
I now don't care to get high but only to get healthy, you can get permanent nerve damage from long term usage, your nerves will soon return to normal but may take a month.
Finally done and never have to worry about running out of pills or worrying about getting sick again. Many will agree, many won't but from experience I know what worked for me and know any meds won't make things better, only use for short time relief and get on with getting better, trust me, it will all be worth it.
Good luck everyone and stay clean.
 
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