Addiction My Opiate Addiction soon to end

[Kellyfendiloxphine]

Kelly I think what cj told you might be good for you you could be better off on maintenance then not controlling your use when relapsing and end up overdosing.I was talking to a addict yesterday not seen him for months he now using subs says its letting him stabilise with life get back to normality then hopes to come of when life in. bit more order.We only get one chance at life my friend and no matter how shitty life can seem its still worth every shot we can give it.

Thanks. Well said. I?m trying to envision myself asking for help with this, and I feel speechless. It?s like it?s so overwhelming... the meer thought of it, even. But I?d love to be off this emotional pendulum that swings back and forth from contentment to turmoil within. I know if I stay off everything for long enough... and I mean looong enough (probably 2 years with no slips), then I?ll be able to handle life?s ups and downs quite a bit better. It?s like the smallest things are overwhelming... and the big things are so powerfully overwhelming that I can?t even ponder them. I guess what I?m saying is I really want to go on methadone... but I feel like then I?m stuck forever. Just wish I could do it on my own.. you know??

 

[Kellyfendiloxphine]

I don't know you at all but I've been where your going... For the love of God and yourself get back on maintenance meds. Be a rockstar again. Use methadone to get your life and pain under control. Fuck heroin. Fuck pride. And fuck what any judgmental fuck-face thinks. Save yourself please... YOU ARE WORTH IT! You can do it. If you wait too long you're gonna wish you got back on methadone sooner. Methadone has saved my life to. God be with you!

Nice to meet you, Drew, and thanks. I like that you?re straight up. And I know you?re right. Guess I gotta ask for the courage to change this situation and quick, because I can?t see myself asking for methadone... Says that you?ve been where I?m going....doesn?t sound fun.

I haven?t dosed with opioids for 8 hours... hope I can hang on.i usually get to day 2/3, and then the demands of life call on me and I give in.. usually because the people around me don?t like to see the sick.

Thanks for the advice. I?m gonna keep asking my angels to help me get on maintenance or quit!?

 

[DrewDogBaby209]

Hey what's up nice to meet you too!

What you said in your last sentence is awesome. But if this fight becomes to strong for you and the same BS everyday... Please consider it! Gods way out for you might just be methadone or bupe for now... You never know. Also, if you got back on maintenance you would have a nice dose waiting for you everyday. No more hustling. No more withdrawal.

Anyway, God bless your journey. 4 real... I am praying for you! Be cool.

 

[yubacity]

Thanks. Well said. I?m trying to envision myself asking for help with this, and I feel speechless. It?s like it?s so overwhelming... the meer thought of it, even. But I?d love to be off this emotional pendulum that swings back and forth from contentment to turmoil within. I know if I stay off everything for long enough... and I mean looong enough (probably 2 years with no slips), then I?ll be able to handle life?s ups and downs quite a bit better. It?s like the smallest things are overwhelming... and the big things are so powerfully overwhelming that I can?t even ponder them. I guess what I?m saying is I really want to go on methadone... but I feel like then I?m stuck forever. Just wish I could do it on my own.. you know??

Im not going to lie to you Kelly it is hard.I found that if you start thinking about years without gear it becomes to much.Its a clique but I find that I think today no gear seems to make life easier.I will properly relapse again but like my friend ash here says you get up and start again.When you spend decades on drugs it is hard your friend circles everything revolves around gear but it can be done.Decide how you want to go about it maintenance or abstinence and give each ago

 

[yubacity]

Im not going to lie to you Kelly it is hard.I found that if you start thinking about years without gear it becomes to much.Its a clique but I find that I think today no gear seems to make life easier.I will properly relapse again but like my friend ash here says you get up and start again.When you spend decades on drugs it is hard your friend circles everything revolves around gear but it can be done.Decide how you want to go about it maintenance or abstinence and give each ago

Meant give one ago.

 

[DrewDogBaby209]

Im not going to lie to you Kelly it is hard.I found that if you start thinking about years without gear it becomes to much.Its a clique but I find that I think today no gear seems to make life easier.I will properly relapse again but like my friend ash here says you get up and start again.When you spend decades on drugs it is hard your friend circles everything revolves around gear but it can be done.Decide how you want to go about it maintenance or abstinence and give each ago

You're right it's very hard but at least with maintenance drugs we have a fighting chance for sure. I feel like abstinence is almost impossible for the average opioid or opiate addict. Most of us need years and years if not a lifetime on maintenance drugs... Unfortunately, that's just the way it is. Some of our brains are so fucked up from narcotics we have to be on methadone or bupe for many many years...if not life. Abstinence is some real hard shit. Very hard... you can do it but please don't throw away the idea of methadone or suboxone. These drugs have saved countless lives.

 

[yubacity]

You're right it's very hard but at least with maintenance drugs we have a fighting chance for sure. I feel like abstinence is almost impossible for the average opioid or opiate addict. Most of us need years and years if not a lifetime on maintenance drugs... Unfortunately, that's just the way it is. Some of our brains are so fucked up from narcotics we have to be on methadone or bupe for many many years...if not life. Abstinence is some real hard shit. Very hard... you can do it but please don't throw away the idea of methadone or suboxone. These drugs have saved countless lives.

I'm having a very hard time with abstinence.I have relapsed many times it's always on my mind.I was against maitance because I thought it's swapping one addiction for another.But after talking to a couple of ex addicts I know who on I think subs it's changed my mind.I now look at it as a diesease and like a diabetes patient who has to maintain with insulin a opiate addict can do it with methadone or subs.I trying to do it the other way.But it has changed me I was a functioning addict but now I am vulnerable mentally with all the changes I have had to make but I'll keep going.Whatever way a addict wants to go it's sure better then using.keep well my friend

 

[Kellyfendiloxphine]

Hello everyone,

I ended up using H for the last time in January. I used codeine off and on until June, then I was able to be opiate free!!! What a feeling.

 

[Mistressofitness]

Hi Kelly! I just wanted to join in, not sure if that was this monday that you just did your update.? It looks like a long time between then and your last post. Its Saturday Nov 9th right now. I wanted to just say what a journey. Thank you for your story and I feel your pain, as it is similar to my own. I hope that maybe you are still on board here, would love to hear what you have done to be opiate free. It looks like the H was your bottom, and maybe that really scared you into being able to get better. I am currently on Suboxone, after a couple years on the opiate roller coaster- oxy, oxyneo, hydromorph, and basically any similar meds that I could get off the streets. I sunk to a low that I've not known before.... I hate being on Suboxone but am scared to go off. I am looking to talk with more who've been on it and finally been ready, and able to wean off, for advice and support. I'm going to a recovery meeting next week, and hoping that might be good for me to add to my repetoire- have a great Addiction doctor, therapist, family doctor and all I'm missing is a group support system, which I know is important for me (I can't do these things on own- I need people!). Anyway, say hi if you are around. I don't know how to PM yet, but when I figure it out I'd like to give you a holla! Cheers!