i dont know if anyone has followed.. ive made several posts about my current situation in the past few months and how things have been getting worse and worse and worse and then even worse..
well.. if it hadnt hit the fan before.. it'd certaintly just did 6 days ago..
i woke up in the local hospital's psych ward with my dad and my sister by my side..
things had gotten so bad i attempted suicide.. the drugs hadnt killed me fast enough, so i slit my wrists.. but unfortunately, my dad found me and called 911 before i had the chance to die..
I just got released from the hospital and am on suicide watch.. my father checks in on me every 20 minutes.. the last thing i wanted to do was disappoint him.. he gave everything for me to have a good life and i pissed it all away..
the thought that i let him down was enough for me to make that ultimate decision to end it all.. hes been my only friend in my life and my hero and i feel like a fuckin failure in his eyes.. thinking about how i fucked everything up brings me to tears..
Im in hell, and i just want out.. i cant do this anymore..
It's like what lou reed sang about.. i wish i was born a thousand years ago..
this time isnt righ for me.. this life isnt right for me..
i have fucking noone.. thats why i turn to bluelight, even as im on the brink.. because i have fuckin noone..
i dont know what to say; i dont know what to do.. im at ropes end, man..
im in hell..
well.. if it hadnt hit the fan before.. it'd certaintly just did 6 days ago..
i woke up in the local hospital's psych ward with my dad and my sister by my side..
things had gotten so bad i attempted suicide.. the drugs hadnt killed me fast enough, so i slit my wrists.. but unfortunately, my dad found me and called 911 before i had the chance to die..
I just got released from the hospital and am on suicide watch.. my father checks in on me every 20 minutes.. the last thing i wanted to do was disappoint him.. he gave everything for me to have a good life and i pissed it all away..
the thought that i let him down was enough for me to make that ultimate decision to end it all.. hes been my only friend in my life and my hero and i feel like a fuckin failure in his eyes.. thinking about how i fucked everything up brings me to tears..
Im in hell, and i just want out.. i cant do this anymore..
It's like what lou reed sang about.. i wish i was born a thousand years ago..
this time isnt righ for me.. this life isnt right for me..
i have fucking noone.. thats why i turn to bluelight, even as im on the brink.. because i have fuckin noone..
i dont know what to say; i dont know what to do.. im at ropes end, man..
im in hell..